Work Stress - Help & Answers appreciated.?

Question

i am 19 years old living in the uk. I am a apprentice joiner and currently work for a small firm consisting of me and my 2 bosses.
For the past 2/3 months i have being feeling very stressed & down. Im constantly aching, getting sharp pains in my head, and have alot of negative thinking, and at my age this can not be good, so i decided to make an appointment at my doctors and sort this out.
I really want to quit my job as i cant stand being there anymore, even though i have 2 bosses, its just the one of them that is the problem. Its constant name-calling(being called thick) told i wont make it in the trade and even a bit of physical (hitting on head, punching in ribs). He seems to think hes being funny but i cant stand up 2 him and as my 2 bosses r best friends, i cant talk to the other one. I have applied to other companies, but im really desprate to leave, but moneys the problem (phone bills, holiday in 8 weeks, socialising). Answers will be much appreciated. thank you.

Thanx to everyone so far with the answers, some really good ideas. Ive seen alot of 'get a job before you leave' on this website. problem is, im not qualified until another 8 weeks, so it makes it harder. I do alot of cash in hand work for this one guy, do u all reckon thats something to fall on if i quit? i just really hate working with him, yesterday i wrote down how i now feel, what my boss does to me and some examples of his bullying. Ive taken the day off today, hoping to get to doctors but thats not till friday now. again thanks for everyones input, and feel free to keep goin!

Answer 1

Right - here are a couple of options for you - try and take the first.

Ask to speak to both your bosses together concerning your employment within their company, set a time and a date and do not bottle out, then tell them exactly how you feel in a calm and direct (courteous) manner explain to them how it's making you feel etc you may be pleasantly surprised at the result of this 'meeting of minds' but above all maintain your dignity do not let pride get in the way - if it's hurting tell em!

Option 2
If suffering physical/verbal abuse in the workplace have a word with a solicitor (most do half hour free) also see your GP and explain the situation to him - get it on record! Also visit your citizens advice bureau and ask what you are able to do about this situation and a visit to the job centre (explain situation) wont hurt either.
If you really need to leave this job you will have to grit your teeth for the time being - but do the above and get it all official - then if you do walk out you will have good grounds for claiming benefits and not have to wait 26 weeks.
Good luck to you - I was bullied at work when an Apprentice so I can and do empathise with you.

Answer 2

The following can help stress:
1. Yoga.
2. Massage.
3. Regular aerobic exercise that makes you breathless for about 30 mins x 3 per week.
4. If you can, see if you can arrange a holiday or a short break and go somewhere completely unrelated to work.
5. If you smoke or drink alcohol, cut them out or down. Focus on eating very heathily and drinking a lot of water.
6. Definitely seeing your Dr is a good idea.

In addition, it sounds like you are being bullied at work. The law prevents this type of conduct. Physical bullying in particular is unacceptable. In relation to this, I would suggest as follows:

1. From now on keep a diary/record (write it down) of every time the boss calls you something rude or hits you or otherwise behaves in a way that makes you upset or feels demeaning. Make it detailed so record exactly (i) what is said/done (ii) where you were (iii) whether there were any witnesses and (iv) the precise time and date.

In addition, write down anything now that has taken place previously which you can remember.

2. When you have enough examples, I suggest you go to see an employment lawyer. A lot of solicitors in the UK will take an initial consultations on a free/ no-win no fee basis that allows them to assess the merits of the case. You want someone who will be prepared to take the case on a Conditional Fee basis (or CFA - Conditional Fee Agreement) where if you don't win, you don't pay anything. They will give you a view on the merits of your case.

3. Separately, address the problems you have referred to with your other boss - preferably in writing (or in an email if you don't want to be so formal) and keep a copy of it. If you feel uncomfortable setting it all out in writing, then write an email asking to have a meeting with the other boss to address a problem that has arisen with the Bullying One. At least this will give you a record of the fact you had a meeting.

4. Obviously, the options are either (i) resolve the problems where you are or (ii) move - so continuing to look for another job is a good idea. Best of luck with the search.

Answer 3

You have nothing to lose by trying what Nathan said. Nutritional supplements can make a big difference especially if the stress and anxiety are situational which yours seems to be. I would also check into some cognitive therapy because anxiety comes from inside your head, especially when you cannot let go of feelings like fear of failure and disappointment. Somehow we have raised our kids to expect to be perfect at everything and anything less than 100 A+ is failure. That is such a lie. We all live on a continuum and we are good at some things, suck at others and most of what comes our way we are somewhere in the middle and always have room for improvement. Take it easy on your self which does not mean become lazy it means have realistic expectations and take what comes learning lifes lessons as you go.

Answer 4

My advice would be to just leave asap! you will find work elsewhere, even if it isn't what you want, for example you could work in a factory until something in your trade comes up again. its better doing that for a short time, than your health being affected. You don't deserve the treatment you are getting, you could take this matter further, because of the harassment etc, but in my experience its far better just to get out, because it will only cause more stress. i have worked with a woman who bullied me before, i came home from work crying most nights, she would comment on my clothes, embarrass me in front of customers and shout at me, i couldn't talk to my manager because, everyone seemed to love her, and i was worried, after i left i actually found out my manager knew but was too much of a coward to say anything! it just isn't worth it! as soon as i left i felt like a different person. I guess the reason he picks on you is to big himslef up, and show off , and its unlikely that those types of people will ever stop. So please don't put yourself through this unnecessary stress, you can deal with the consequences of leaving when they arrive! good luck! x

Answer 5

Get yourself to a job agency and see what other jobs they have avilable!! Awful situation to be in and no one shoudl have to put up with that treatment. You doctor should even give you a sick note for 2 weeks so you can sort yourself out, you'll make yourself ill with all this worry and stress. You are then covered with pay and they can't fire you, if you get any problems from them work/pay related, contact you local Citizens Advice maybe. Good Luck with the job hunting, hope things work out ok for you.

Answer 6

Raise it with your other boss. Tell them you want this to stop, or you'll take it further.

DONT let him bully you...coz TBH thats all he's doing. They think its funny to behave like this, but not if its getting to you.

If he doesn't stop...seek citizens Advice help as to where to go next. And if you dont like your job, you wont feel bad about taking your horrible boss through the coals for being a pain in the ***!!

Dont be the victim, get the **** told!!! :D

Good luck xxxxxxxx

Answer 7

Try taking 10 minutes out sit in a comfortable chair, close your eyes & think of the place you would most like to be & daydream change your job BUT get a job before you leave this one best wishes

Answer 8

Record the incidents involving violence and verbal abuse and take your empoyers to an Industrial Tribunal, with a claim for Constructive Wrongful Dismissal. Obtain witnesses and/or evidence wherever possible to support your claim. Begin writing down your claim basis today, with all you can recall, and collect more.

Answer 9

i hate my job to i work in telesales... i have been on the sick for 6 weeks and ive been much happier than going back to work i jus cant afford to leave... so im asking to go part time maybe in your job you can to?. your only 19 so dont hesitate on leaving u will find other jobs come your way. wouldnt you rather be happy than miserable?

Answer 10

Either see a Chiropractor for adjustments, or get a massage.

If you can't afford either, get your loved one to massage your shoulders and neck until they do not feel stiff any longer. This is a great temporary solution!