Tomorrow is my last day working for what can only be described as the worst employer I have ever worked for!!!

Question

I would dearly love to tell them exactly what I think of them, but a high level of professionalism prevents me from doing so. What would you like to tell your employers if you thought there would be no consequences? Don't hold back - I won't tell!!

Acegotwii - you rascal, I might just try one or two of these!

Answer 1

dont call them anything jus do a few of these pranks lol by the time they figure them out ur out of there and no 1 can blame u rofl
When two (ore more) people are working a desks that are put next to each other, switch their telephone cords. With all those cables lying around it will take some time before they find that one out!

Put a peice of onion or a clove of garlic inside the mouthpiece of a phone. Give it some time for it to fester and build up a strong odor. Then call them and keep them on the phone for as long as possible.

It is allways a good habit to lock your computer before heading off for coffee or a smoke. When someone forgets and leaves a Word document or an email open, type a single word somewhere in the text. �f*ck� or so will do nicely. They�ll never notice and send it out.

Get a hold of someone's cell phone and change the greeting banner to say "NO SERVICE". Many cell phones have greeting banners on them that you can personalize to say whatever you want them to and it stays on there when you're not using your phone. Also, when there is no service where you are, most cell phone companies have a banner that pops up on your screen saying "no service".

Take a can of non gel shaving cream, and put it in a freezer. When it is frozen remove the bottom of the can and put it in co worker's drawer. When it melts it expands and explodes all over everything.

Go into MS Word or similar program on co-worker's computer, and add an entry to the AutoCorrect feature. This is a very simple prank that will send the novice user into a frenzy. Configure the AutoCorrect option to replace the word "the" with the phrase "you suck!". They will usually panick and start scanning for viruses.

Take clear tape and tape the underside of the mouse. Make sure you take the sticky end of the tape and apply it to the bottom of the mouse so it locks the ball in place. The victim will most likely check the connections in the back, reinstall drivers, reboot, etc., before they realize what has happened.

Do a "Print Screen" of the user's desktop, and then paste the image from the clipboard to a photo program, and save the image as a bitmap. Then, set the 'snapshot' of their desktop as the actual desktop wallpaper. (You'll have to hide the Windows status bar, and move all their desktop icons into a folder, which you can hide conspicuously in the corner or something.) The user will see their desktop as always, but everything on it will appear to be frozen when they try to click on it...sending them into a rebooting and virus scanning fit!

This will mostly only work with people with very little PC knowledge. Stick in a floppy in there floppy drive. They will be unable to boot up windows until the disk is out. This is fun to watch.

Try to find a very obnoxious CD laying around. Preferably a reggae or rap CD. Pop it in their CD ROM. Put up the sound full blast by double clicking on the volume control on the bottom right. On normal configurations the audio CD will autoplay when windows first starts up. The person starting up there PC in the morning will definitely be embarrassed.

This is for that special person you just cant stand in the office, the one who talks on the phone all day with their boyfriend/girlfriend and gets personal e-mail all day. Go into their e-mail and change their defaults to autmatically "blind carbon copy" their boss or supervisor. Heads will roll!

Change the coffee in the office coffe maker to decafe. Wait about three weeks(or untill you think everybody has gotten over their caffine addiction)and switch to expresso!

Try "password securing" someone's screen saver. First I suggest changing the screen saver to "scrolling marque" and inserting your own word or phrase, "Mr. Jones (president or supervisor) eats SHlT" or something to that effect.

With someone who is on the phone a lot during work - This works if you have phones that the handset comes apart. Take the handset apart and put scotch tape over the mouthpeice inside. They can still be heard, but they have to talk loud to be heard. The next day take it off, and put it in the earpeice. Usually they will be yelling to the other person on the line the next day, and won't be able to hear them. When they complain about the phone, and get a replacement, do it on the next phone. After about a week you will notice the calls to be down considerably.

Depending where you are at you may have a cafeteria in you place of work. Every week most of them put out a menu so you know what they are serving. Usually it is done on Word or Excel, and not extremely fancy. With a little work, matching fonts, and images you can make your own menus, and post them by your desk. We had one co-worker avoid the cafeteria for 2 weeks because of the selection "fish head stew" etc... before he caught on. Works great with picky eaters.

My absolutely most favorite prank I have saved for last. It is so simple to do and yields such nice results. Simply pop out the 'm' and 'n' key on someone's keyboard and reverse the two. Any flat tool will work. Just pry it with little pressure and they will easily come right off. Then just sit back and watch the confusion.

Answer 2

This is actually a good question because it gives me a chance to vent! I can't say that it is the worst day ever because I've had a few but it was pretty rough and recent so I can go into details. To start off with, my family has always been pretty dysfunctional - although I don't think dysfunctional is the word for it, more like F#$k3& Up! Anyway, the story goes that my 2nd born sister was trying to get a cell phone and they denied her because I already had an account (it sounds bunk to me too). She asked about it and they said it was her SS# with my past addresses (which I'm not even sure is true but I have no proof). Logically, she should have come to me and said "What the hello is going on" and we probably could have fixed the problem. BUT INSTEAD she decided that she would make sure and spread the word that I am an identity thief. Then as my late dead father received mail, she just added on to this story and said that the only reason that a credit card would sent mail to a dead man was because I had also been stealing his identity as well. (How could I have not come to that conclusion myself?) So she goes out of her way to spread these stories to everyone who will listen but I don't hear about it for a while yet. I just notice that people are acting a bit funny around me and I don't know why. Finally, one day, someone decides to tell me that people are acting funny because I'm a thief. That was news to me and I was so hurt that I haven't been able to speak with my sister since. But, it gets better! Some time has passed and I thought that maybe people would come to their senses (I don't even know how you'd steal an ID and if I was going to steal from my family, I should be shot!). Anyway, I had to help my mother move because none of my other siblings would help and I find out that my brother is moving in with her. I decide to help him too because that would only be right; right? Wrong, it turns out that after I was done, he insisted on searching me because he was sure I was trying to steal his identity. When I freaked out because I was so hurt that someone could even come up with such an outlandish story my brother said one of the most painful things I've heard. "Well, you can't prove that you're not an identity thief but I'm going to error on the safe side and make sure there is no personal information around you at any time." I said, "Well it's good to know that I'm an identity thief because if you hadn't told me I might have never known - thanks for showing me what a lowlife I am!" Then he said "Obviously you did it or you wouldn't be upset, I don't have any proof but I don't think an innocent person would be upset at all." I realized all at once that my sister had intentionally alienated me from my friends, my family and from any respect they might have had for me. It's a harsh, painful feeling to know that you are hated for something you didn't do, you can't prove you didn't do it and you can't change what has been done. What the hello is wrong with these people? When does it become acceptable to do something like this and then stick with it? I don't think I've been hurt this bad before.

Answer 3

I would generate about 500 flyers and in that flyer I would describe every thing that is wrong with your employer and leave them somewhere in the building. Of course you do not put your name. These flyer's will be distributed by other workers who are porbably going thru the same torment. This would eventually get back to your employer making him look like the idiot that he is.

Answer 4

i wud like to tell my boss, that he is very partial, not recognizing the effort his team members put into the project. I wud also love to tel him that he is very quick in giving loads n loads of work but never thoughtful enough to appreciate.
Adding to this, i wud tel him that he is not double faced but multiple faced.

The above stated are few things that i wud really like to tel him on his face. But which i obviously can't bcoz he has realized that i am needed n is now doing everything in his power to convince me to stay in this team. But earlier on, i did tell him(in a polished way of course) that i am uncomfortable and feeling gud bout being in this team. my productivity also decreased and i had a tough timedealing with the disappointment i faced.
But i learnt that this is part of work life, and we should learn to exploit it to our benefit (without hurting others of course). Also learnt that there is no use keeping quiet about issues. We should come out with our issues (but in a polished and well planned manner)

Answer 5

There is one boss who I worked for that I would love to say.

"You are the most pathetic, childish and unreasonable person whom I have ever worked for".

I wouldnt though as the person of whom I am referring to would probably track me down at my new work place and cause havoc.

Answer 6

I don't hold back. I always have the courage to respectfully speak my mind. I never talk behind someone's back. If you have something to say then say it, but don't make personal remarks unless it is personal.

Answer 7

Congrats!!
but wont they be the onces that you will be adding on toyour future job references??

i have worked for someone who was a complete ****..but i dont want to write what i would like to say to her, because i would get a voilation and i dont want that ;)

Answer 8

No problem, if they were that bad, I would leave immediately I found out. Why waste life being unhappy at something you spend a lot of time at?

Answer 9

My last job I got on the overhead speaker and told her to take the job and shove it where the sun doesn't shine. After the year of torture she put me through, she deserved every bit of it.

Answer 10

Share your experience (good and bad) about your employer at www.kelzen.com (Employer Check)