As long as i'm not rail thin, i feel unworthy of having a loving relationship. I don't know how to change?

Question

I'm not fat, but i'm definitely not thin. I'm 28 years old, 158 lbs and 5ft11 tall. As long as i have this weight it's like i don't feel good enough to have a loving relationship so i'm not even bothering, i don't date and i don't go out much. I don't know how to accept myself the way i am.

20 Pounds is a lot, i don't think i can lose that much. You make it sounds as if it is a very easy thing to do, which is not, i know since i have tried many times. But your answer prooved i'm right, you guys can't accept a woman unless she is very thin, since your're saying i have to lose 20 pounds.

Once again, i'm not having problems with my height, i love my height and i don't mind dating a guy who's shorter than i am. It's my weight i have a problem with.

Answer 1

I don't think you need to lose weight, I think you need to get in what is called a "target rich environment." Yes, those are the same words that were used in the film "Top Gun." However, I am referring to putting yourself into an environment where there are multiple for you if you want to establish a relationship with a guy. For instance, university campuses are clearly ripe grounds for all sorts of relationships including what you are seeking. People there are interesting, intelligent, articulate, and yet ego-free.

"Take you a course, get you a place," as the English poet John Donne wrote. Study business, engineering, law, literature, ancient history , or any course of study where there are likely to be guys. My wife's college roommate did that, and after getting two masters degrees she actually did get married to a merchant banker.

If that is too much work, why not take dance lessons? I bet I could find dance lessons quickly if I were in Amsterdam or Nijmegen. It could be ballroom, sing, or Argentine tango. The best dancers in Europe are from the Netherlands.

You know, I would even go to Church if I knew that I could meet the right kind of people there.

The real trick is to put yourself into a location where there is the right demographic mix. Make sure the ratio is right, then close in for the target.

Don't worry about how tall you are or how short the guys are. You might have to fight off somebody who is 5' 8" if he chases you hard enough. You don't have to wait for somebody who is 6' 3".

Answer 2

According to an online calculator, the average weight for a woman your height is 150 pounds and the medical recommended weight is 140 - 179 pounds. So, you're right where you should be!

Don't buy into this Nicole Richie, Nicole Kidman, Olsen Twin idea of beauty. Too skinny is not pretty! You know what's pretty? Being happy and confident with who you are.

Maybe it would help if you stopped focusing so much on your outsides and you go do something that will make you feel good. Take a class or volunteer or go on a bike ride or go dancing with friends -- I don't know, but just get out there and live.

Answer 3

Sweetie your not fat... Your thick its awesome you have the perfect weight for your height.. You need to work on your self- esteem and self confidence... I was in a 5 year relationship and I was not fat nor thin and he loved me we enjoyed every bit unfortunately we had to end it b/c he cheated but hey that's life... I gained weight throughout these 5 years but hey I have to work out so I can feel comfortable with myself... I love myself the way I am now but i do want to go back to the way I weighed before not thin nor fat I want to weigh 160 and I do sure look good at this weight so I bet you look great...

Honey I bet there are guys that find you attractive be happy and enjoy life... Sweetie being thin is not attractive many guys love females with a curvy body... Its about having the things in its right spot... I suggest you exercise and eat healthy... By the way I think you should seek professional help... Good luck... Love yourself before you love others

Answer 4

I have somewhat of the same problem as you. I'm around that same age and weight. I'm not 100% happy with the way I look at all times. But the KEY is to be confendant in yourself! Buy clothing that makes you feel sexy, and get the ( I know I look good attitude) then you will feel good about yourself. OR if you are really unhappy with the way you look, go on a diet. and join a gym and work for what you want. but either way go out there and take a chance. You Will find love,

Answer 5

hey, the more curves the better! i learned that after years of experience. i'm 5ft1. thats a very unforgiving height. i should weight from 100-115lbs, but i don't, i'm not even close, but what i've realized is if i think no one can love me b/c ive got weight on me, then it must be because i don't love me.
you need to love yourself for who you are, because you are the only you you've got. and EVERYONE deserves to be loved, and the curvier you are, the more love you need and will receive.
some guys don't like girls that aren't stick thin, but guess what? most guys do. plus who wants to hold on to a cold broom, when they could be holding a warm pillow.

BTW.. as i earlier mentioned, i'm not stick thin, and i do get dates, and i do get hit on, often.

you need to carry confidence, and look comfortable in your body. if you don't like your body there are tons of things you can do to change it but you can't change, if you aren't willing to.
if you don't know how to build your confidence start with little things like complimenting yourself when you try to look good. actually make a list of good qualities you have, and a list of things you dislike about yourself. keep the dislike list hidden, and the other list somewhere you can see it everyday.
i also suggest you tell yourself "i love you" until you actualyl start to believe it

Answer 6

Developing a Healthy Body Image
1. Listen to your body. Eat when you are hungry.
2 .Be realistic about the size you are likely to be based on your genetic and environmental history..
3. Exercise regularly in an enjoyable way, regardless of size.
4. Expect normal weekly and monthly changes in weight and shape
5. Work towards self acceptance and self forgiveness- be gentle with yourself.
6. Ask for support and encouragement from friends and family when life is stressful.
7. Decide how you wish to spend your energy -- pursuing the "perfect body image" or enjoying family, friends, school and, most importantly, life.

Answer 7

With society being the way it truly is at the instant, it truly isn't any longer amazing. there are various women obtainable who've the comparable situation as you. we've been programmed to think of that if we are no longer the top of societal elegance, we heavily isn't enjoyed like different women are. It brings us to darkish places interior ourselves and it truly is like a hollow that's too difficult to climb out of. yet, you will get previous it. in case you easily think of that the concern is your image and the variety you detect your self, then substitute something approximately your self. in case you desire to drop pounds, then attempt to drop pounds so which you experience extra clever approximately your self--no longer so which you would be able to entice some guy. consume extra clever, exercising a sprint extra oftentimes, and you will somewhat experience extra clever approximately your self quite often. healthful food and extreme power levels positioned us in extra clever moods. look at each and every of the human beings around you. somewhat there are people who don't extra healthful society's elegance typical who've got here across love at circumstances. The trick is to provide up thinking which you may desire to fulfill all and sundry different than your self. purchase your self new outfits, get a haircut, study some books which you have have been given been putting off, make a journey to Europe, detect a distinctive job, hazard majors in college, or only take at some point a week to volunteer someplace. strengthen the variety you view your self, and with the justifications for renewed self-self belief, you will slowly be waiting to get your self out of the darkish hollow.

Answer 8

For your height and weight, you seem to fit into your Body Mass Index (BMI). Most people focus on what the media deems to be and displays as "sexy" or "attractive," which tend to be women who are between a size 0 to 6.

You should focus on you. What makes you happy, what clothes make you look good or feel better about yourself. A positive self image is hard to maintain when you compare yourself to what the seems normal based on what you're constantly exposed to by the media.

You should try to seek people who are attracted to your body type and appreciate who you are not what size jeans you wear. Your height and weight are fine.

Answer 9

I know how you feel. I was lucky enough to get out of the slump, and accept myself for how I look and now I am married. Its not bad to be curvy, trust me. Rail thin is not a good look. Many guys you ask will tell you curvy is the way to go.

Answer 10

if you feel you need to lose a little weight to be in a loving relationship then do so. but a man should be able to love a woman just as they are. try going out with friends and open yourself to the possibility...