How am I to blame?

Question

I am seriously concerned about the responses I received from this forum. I was looking for help on how to handle this crisis for my husband and instead I got that I am killing my husband or that my children will be taken from me. I have done everything humanly possible to help him, my family has tried to force him to go to the ER, I have called his doctors and begged for help, if I try to help him he gets more angry, I don't understand why I'm the cause of this from the way the responses sound, HE has decided it's not worth it to him to take the meds, he thinks he's invinceable, last night he went and bought himself 2 honeybuns smothered in chocolate and drank 3rootbeers in less than 10 min. w/ his sugar levels over 600, I asked him why with the shape he is in and he says because he's an adult & can..so am I a killer because I can't get him to go to the ER or take care of himself. I was looking for support, I needed help, but instead I got crucified.

Answer 1

Don't take this forum too seriously... it's not the best place to get help or support re ANYTHING... I wonder why half the people are even on here when I read half the responses. Chin up, you don't need our approval :)

Answer 2

1) It's not your fault.

2) This is not the place where you will get the support you need. Anybody that can type (and some people who can't) can answer questions on Y!A. You shouldn't be surprised if people give you poor answers. I am sorry but I don't know where you can go for help with your situation.

You have some hard decisions to make. I would consider packing up and taking the kids for a long visit to your parents or somebody you can trust. It seems as if your husband is going beyond harming himself and is now harming his family.

Or, you can continue to try and get him help whether he wants it or not. Will anybody from his family help?

If things get bad enough, you may have to wait until his blood sugar goes high enough that he passes out before you call an ambulance. If he is not able to answer then he can't tell you not to call an ambulance.

You need professional help. Not help from here. I am sorry that you are in this tough situation and I wish I could help you.

Answer 3

If you are lucky, he will survive his first hospitalization with high blood sugar. Just wait until he passes out and call an ambulance.

If that does not teach him that he is invincible, all I can suggest is that you try to take out life insurance to provide for you and the kids when he manages to kill himself.

I get stubborn sometimes and go off my meds, but my sugar does not go that high. Then again, I don't do dumbassed things like your husband did either. When my body demands it, I go back on my meds.

Good Luck. I hope your husband comes to his senses before he looses his life, his wife, his kidneys, or his sight.

Doc, another diabetic

Answer 4

You are not to blame honey. Some people don't want to be helped. I work in a doctor's office and you would not believe the people who are non-compliant with doctor's advise. My friend is a nurse and her husband has diabetes. She would cook proper meals for him, and he'd go out with the boys and drink and eat what he wanted. All he did was crab at her all the time. He finally went semi-blind and now sits around the house being a royal pain in the butt. (oh wait a minute, I forget - he still hunts - he bought an $850 scope for his rifle). Of course, she stayed with the fool because she felt all the relatives and friends would say "she left him when he needed her most". She ended up working and raising their daughter. She always said she'd leave when Jackie was 16 but she ended up having a mini-stroke herself and is still with him, waiting on him hand and foot. He helps her do nothing. After the stroke, he didn't lift a finger to help her. They had to get someone to come in to help her and him out. He is quite capable.

I feel bad for you. He will end up killing himself or become an invalid and you will have to deal with him then. I hate to say it, and I know it sounds unfeeling but if doesn't want to take care of himself, get out and leave him to his doom. Otherwise, when the hammer falls, you are the one who will end up taking care of him, and he will be a terrible patient. You said you have kids. Think of them and let your husband take care of himself.

You could try to just not have the wrong foods/drinks for him available in the house. If he wants them he can get them himself. I don't think that will work though.

Answer 5

As an American white male, I in my opinion do not care approximately having a loose Tibet , I do not care who Taiwan belongs to, so long as their fashioned cultures and ancient records / artifacts are preserved with quality care and don't seem to be hidden. As a long way as China setting up quicker than the United States, you obtained us there. There are instances while I suppose that the United States has fallen off the band wagon decades in the past in assessment to the Chinese. But additionally preserve in brain even though that America operates below quasi loose marketplace capitalist principals. Your Chinese govt has the quality potential of a command economic system. Meaning if the federal government sees that whatever is or is not running, it has the potential to difference it at a moments detect. To many Americans, that is the identical of marketplace manipulation and runs totally contradictory to our quasi loose marketplace approach. Personally, I generally tend to love and dislike the Chinese command approach, similar to I like and Dislike our American System. It could be dull accountable China for whatever.

Answer 6

I'm sorry you are going through this. Maybe you could try an intervention, getting all the people who love and care about your husband to talk to him together, hopefully you can all make him realize his doing this to his family too not just himself.

It sound like he's depressed, many diabetics go through depression, maybe as a group you can get him to go for help. I hope this helps, you and your family are in my prays. Good luck.

Answer 7

You are not to blame, he is an adult and can make his own choices!
You are however responsible for your mental health, and the well being of your children, I would give hubby 2 choices..shape up...or ship out!!
It must be hard sitting by and watching him hurt himself..it sounds like he is very depressed because of his disease, and is giving up..save yourself, and get out of the situation, good luck!

Answer 8

It's a sad situation becuase you care about him and you don't want to see him the way he is, but he is an adult. Maybe you should sit down with him and ask him this " Are u ready to die and leave me and your children behind" If your kids are young also ask him if he wants to watch them grow up and go to college, get married, things like that. Maybe this will help!

GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 9

talk to him about it and tell him how you fell and be aggressive about it. Try changing not only his diet but your families diet like instead of having candy in the house have some fruit and water and diet drinks instead of soda.Exercise a little. Go to a Gym or a community center like the YMCA.

Answer 10

if he is putting it in he is also the one that needs to shape up over his eating, my brother was at 400 pounds when he died said his diet was high on sodas twinkies and 6 eggs at one sitting not a good diet plus he would go fishing little work out was that when it was sitting mostly.