Doesn't it annoy you when...?

Question

People you have invited over (a) come too early (b) hover in the kitchen over your shoulder 'offering to help' (c) just start taking over even though you have everything under control (d) all of the above???
It's just that when I invite people over for dinner I don't expect them to 'work', just enjoy the evening and allow themselves to be 'spoilt'.

Answer 1

If you invite people who tend to do this, plan ahead.Plan on doing a cheese or veggie appetizer plate and get the ingredients, cutting board etc. and put them at the kitchen table out of your way to do it for you.Or have them cut lemons and limes for drinks.This is usually what I do, or when people first arrive I stop everything in the kitchen and spend the next 15 - 20 min. just enjoying my guests, getting wine or cocktails and letting them find a place to get comfy, if you get them a drink and get them started on a topic of conversation you can usually sneak back to the kitchen to finish what needs to done in peace.I have to say it doesn't really bother me to have people in my kitchen but when someone comes to my house I want it to be a real treat! If helping me (even if I don't need it)makes them happy I'm happy.

Answer 2

It seems you have some great friends and it's not going to change unless you make it change. a) Okay they come to early - specify next time that you have to go out to school meeting/parents house (before the do) whatever excuse you can make up and when you get back you'll be showering and dressing then starting the preparations for dinner so don't be too early. Better still make the invite half hour later than usual or even make food that just needs plonking on the hob at last minute, b) hover in the kitchen over your shoulder - try putting something in the living room to occupy their time e.g. photos, a website of interest something to stop them bothering you. It could be that the ones who offer to help feel awkward or don't know the others in the room. If they insist on helping get them to wash the dishes, tidy up or put the rubbish out - only kidding. Have them wash their hands before everything and also wash the chopping board after every use. If they question you about it state it's the only way you can stay organised and if they faulter from this it will throw you and upset you. They'll soon get bored and wont ask again. c) just start taking over even though you have everything under control. See above. Get a good friend to block the door, a minder if you will, hell dress them up like a doorman and tell your guests in a very light hearted way that no entry unless they are on the list, oh and keep nibbles and booze topped up.

Answer 3

This is down to different upbringings and people having different should rules.
Some people come early as they think it is polite or better than coming late. Yes it can be annoying because you may still be setting up but if you remember that some people will arrive early you can have you setting up finished in time or they will just have to wait until you are ready.

Again some people think it is polite to offer to help or take an interest in what is going on. If you tell them you do not need any help and they still do it find some way to occupy them while you are busy.

Another way to deal with it is to think it would be nice if people did not interfere - this may sound similar to people should listen when i say i dont want any help but it does take the edge off the anger! It isnt so black and white and allows for differences in opinion.

Remember some people may feel grateful to be offered help and you are extra lucky.

If they try to take control just tell them to go and sit down or again find them something to do or give instructions as to how you would like it done.

Answer 4

Plan your dinner party so that the invitees can help. Assign each to a certain task so when all are done you have a wounderous meal chating as how things were done and how well it all turned out. Such as a pizza dinner - each person gets a cooked pizza [small] pie, adding to it waht they want [have an assortment of toppings IE:cheeses,meat,onion,etc.] Have an assortment to add to a basic salad with an assortment of dressing to add. DON'T worry they are not working - they are choosing what they want not working. That will come after the party when you cleen up.

Answer 5

yes that annoys me, my best friend does that. but a solution I found is that when I invite her over to dinner I know she's going to be at least an hour early, so I set little things aside for her to do, like put some thing in a serving dish, mix a salad, or put the silverware on the table. It really helps alot because, she feels welcome in my kitchen and I feel at ease because she's not pestering me.

Answer 6

Hmmm i think you seem to get stressed out by inviting people. Firstly try inviting them an hour or so later than you want them to arrive. So if you want them at 6pm tell them 8pm and so on...

Also if you dont want them in the kitchen make a nice polite and strict rule.. no persons allowed in the kitchen. 'he who enters my home must relax in the front room'

make some notices for doors .. polite but sort of light hearted.

if all fails stop inviting and then there is not a problem

Answer 7

Yes that is very annoying..however there was one friend of mine that used to do it all the time, that was until I kept giving her fiddly things to do. After a while she got the message and now even though she still has a habit of arriving too early. When she says can I help, all i have to say to her is are you sure you really really want to, and smile and she say... okay I get you have everything under control I'll go and find something to do

Answer 8

Yes those are all annoying, however (b) is unavoidable because hovering in the kitchen is what people like to do. Its often the most interesting place in the house.

Answer 9

You could try putting one of them baby gates across the kitchen door lol or next time they invite you to dinner do the same to them see how they like it.

Answer 10

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN , BUT ON THINKING , YOU COULD BE LIKE MY WIFE AT COOKING ,
so the visitors come early with the intention of finding out what you are cooking , then ether make a urgent excuse to leave , or help you , in order to be able to eat the meal ...
every thought of that.