How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested
2007-05-18 19:56:16 · 5 answers · asked by Nitro 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Hey Basil: "I'm the Boss of the House" and I got HER permission to say so :)
2007-05-18 20:39:33 · update #1
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened when she brings it.
----Oh, Yeah! She will open it no doubt, drink the beer and shove the empty bottle up your @ss!
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
----Wrong again. Rich women find the Laundromat the best place to pick up gigolos!!!
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
----Nah! It is just so that men don’t get tired of rubbing them, licking them etc.!!!
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
----Oh, Yeah! "A man once told me…that hot air always rises. I sat on his face and farted to prove that when directed hot air can blow downwards!!!"
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven…
----To remind the man to warm / cook his own damn food!!!
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
---- Wow! That is the proof that men talk through their @ss! Think about it! Women talk lots so they fart less, men talk less so they fart more. You said it!!!
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
----That is because a dog won’t mind if you call her ‘*****’ You wife does!
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
----If your mother did what she was told every time…you would not know who your father was, neither would she!!!
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
----That is because you are always wrong. Your above statements have been proved wrong. You even married the wrong girl when you married miss Always Right!!!
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
----The same scientists who discovered that 90% of wives are left unsatisfied by their husbands. That means men cannot even satisfy 10% of woman’s sex drive!!!
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
-----Yeah! That’s because they finally realize how useless they are!!!
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
-----Women are never equal to men. They are far superior to men precisely because they don’t walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested
-----That is the only truth! Women are the reason for all that is happening on this earth!!!
2007-05-18 22:01:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha ha 9/10 guess where you are sleeping tonight after she reads these
2007-05-19 03:02:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny! lol! Good ones! lol!
2007-05-19 06:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great man! I'm passing this on to my friends. Thanks for the laughs.
2007-05-19 03:02:08 · answer #4 · answered by jare bare 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL.There's a word for a man like you........uh........lemme think..........umm........................I got it............Funny! LOL.
2007-05-19 19:43:59 · answer #5 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋