Stop fighting?

Question

I've been depressed for a few weeks. With that comes anger... Everything that my live-in boyfriend does, I get mad at him and bring up how he cheated on me in past (still not over that.)

I can't control my emotions when it comes to being angry, but when I feel like I want to talk to him, I can't show him how I feel. It's like I'm thinking it, I'm feeling sorry on the inside but I can't let him see or know that I'm hurt or sorry.

Well, I guess he got fed up, because my live-in boyfriend went out tonight, and he is still not home. It's like, why would he had more fuel to the fire, cause now im mad he left me in the house alone all night.

How do I talk to him about my feelings, and my depression without feeling weird or diffrent?

I get mad and throw the cheating in his face because after all these months I haven/'t forgive him. His cheating went on for almost two months without me knowing. I feel like as if he spit in my face. At that time, I was open with him. I let my guards down, and we was having sex... F%$#@ wth my pride and self-esteem. I try to forgive him, but I can't. Whenever, I think about, it feels like the first day I found out about it. Im hurt!

Answer 1

If u love ur BF try to forget the past and start a new beginning. Take note, that by keep hiding ur anger, it will not solve the problem. Have the courage to voice out to ur BF. Let both of you sort out the problem. Afterwards...I'm sure u will have peace of mind.

Answer 2

You can always show what you showed to us, then ask him and his buddies to write up what he can't seem to say or show for you to see. Then comes the next step:

It sounds like you are sitting on top of a powder keg of anger.

If one person is reluctant and the other person is willing to try the relationship again, there is nothing wrong with trying a professional counselor who has seen this a lot of times and may has easy solutions to some of the problems.

It can't hurt; It might help.

At least there may be better ground rules set so that everyone knows they are in concrete - not just being guessed at as being the rules by both parties. "Rules on how to argue correctly" and "Anger Management" and "How to be romantic".

Each party can still walk away from it - just understanding each other's differences a little better, and knowing what not to do in the next relationship.

Answer 3

I think you may not have that chance. Maybe he is gone for good, or maybe he doesn't care what happens to your relationship.
This is as much your problem as it is his. Go and do a self help course, learn how to communicate without getting angry, there is a vast difference being assertive and going after what you want, and being aggressive and demanding compliance from others.
You also need couples counselling, for him to explain to you why he cheated, and perhaps learn to understand it more himself and for you to get closure too. There is always more than meets the eye with infidelity, not necessarily about sex or pleasure at all, but can be emotional. You need to open up the lines of communication between you and your partner, or consider it done, without trust and communication your relationship is more of a game than a love match.

Answer 4

I'm sorry you are feeling unhappy. But the only person that can make you happy is yourself. Don't be with someone expecting them to make you happy.

If your boyfriend cheated, and you are still with him, you have to let go of the past, you cannot change history. Stop torturing yourself, and fighting over it. Don't let bitter or angry thoughts consume your mind, and ruin your present time.

Since you are angry, you may need to see a counselor, or a doctor. Your boyfriend is not helping by ignoring your feelings. But, again you are the only one capable of controlling your emotions.

I speak from experience, dealing with betrayal from the person you love is not easy to forgive and forget. But, you deserve to be treated with respect, and love. You have to set your own standards, and if he accepts them, he's worth keeping.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Write him a letter just dont put anything mean in it and make sure you get all your points down. It might take more than one letter and you might want to rewrite it. Just make sure it doesnt cause an argument. But dont forget anything important so really take some time on it.

Answer 6

if he cheated on you then he does ent seem like the right man he does ent deserve you. and i can see why you get angry at him. but if you still love him and forgive him for cheating then just tell him the truth. because he wants honesty out of u and i'm sure u want that from him.

Answer 7

it seems to me he just wanted a excuse to go out he should be kissing your feet helping you get through something he did to you he should not leave your sight until he can prove himself to you move on girl have more respect for yourself your feelings will never be the same for him again no matter how hard you try put yourself first he puts himself first your depressed and he is out haveing fun not even thinging of you oh he might when he needs an excuse to go out on you it only takes one time he is not your husband you have no ties to him let him go and show him what he missed out on

Answer 8

I think you need to move on because of the fact he cheated on you. Sure you forgave him but deep inside you'll never forget are you willing to have that image in your head of that other girl for the rest of your time together? I think you deserve better someone who would never cheat on you.

Answer 9

If you're not over the whole cheating thing.. and you can't talk to him about your feelings.. maybe you guys need to sit down and discuss where you guys want your relationship to go. If you keep this up, it might end up somewhere you might not want it to be-- down the drain.

Answer 10

This might not be the right guy for you if you cant show your true feelings for you, I wont ever forgive anyone if they cheated on me thats will always stay with me.