The other night, my girlfriend and I got into an argument, and she got sassy, so I slapped her. She actually slapped me back!
That made me really mad, so I punched her in the eye, and she started screaming. I was afraid of someone hearing, so I told her to hush, but she just started cursing. It really makes me mad to be defied, and so I hit her again and again. I couldn't let her leave, until she promised not to go to the police.
The problem is, that she has bruises all over her, and I have scratch marks on my arms and face. The police found out about it, and I got hauled to jail. I got out on bail, but I can't go near my own home, or talk to her. I want to work things out, because I'm really not a bad guy. I didn't plan on doing it. Things just escalated really fast. What should I do or say to convince her not to pursue charges, and to let me back? It wasn't my fault entirely. She instigated me. How can I convince her of this?
2007-05-18 18:47:01 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To olddoggie and curtf1964: Isn't it great to be able to talk tough behind the protection of a computer screen?
To chriswh90: It felt good to call me a b*tch and say you want me raped? Congratulations, jerk.
To Mika: I hope Bubba won't be gentle with you either--when you meet him in a dark alley after he's been deprived of sex for weeks.
to the others who want me to go to jail:(rbpc2,poptheory,pinkgirl) go rot there yourselves
2007-05-19 17:07:12 · update #1
You should not talk to her. She probably has a restraining order, and you'll just get into MORE legal trouble. Move on. If you hit her once, and she hit you, you two are clearly not meant to be together. Learn from this what you can, and move on.
2007-05-18 18:52:23 · answer #1 · answered by Don M 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not a bad guy???? Your kidding right? You slapped her more times then she slapped you back!!! In my opinion you are both at fault, but even more so you than her! You are now considered a coward in my book, along with %50 of the women out there! You should have walked away! Why didn't you just do the 5 second rule , what I mean by that is don't say or do anything psychical. Then speak what is on your mind , THEN WALK AWAY! Now you are going to have this followed the rest of your life, every job application you ever fill out, not to mention people that are close to you in your everyday life will know that you have a record , then become very weary of ever having to trust you again. The only thing that I can possibly ever tell you now is attend Anger Management Classes for half a year, before you even go out on another date, EVER! It's high time you grow up to a "REAL MAN"!
2007-05-18 19:02:25 · answer #2 · answered by earthball50@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The D.A. should file for false imprisonment too, you idiot, since you "couldn't let her leave until she promised not to go to the police." Obviously if you did not want her to go to the police then you KNEW what you had done was WRONG. Morally and legally. Wrong.
If she annoys you to the point that you have to beat the crap out of her, why do you want to be with her? She has bruises ALL OVER her and you think that's ok? A real MAN does not lay a hand on his woman.
Did your father beat your mother? How would you like it if someone like you did what you did to your little sister, or niece, or daughter? Really, think about it. You need serious help so that you do not repeat this pattern with any other woman in the future.
And if you do not want to get into further trouble, abide by the court's orders (restraining order) -- do not call, contact, go near, or STALK her.
2007-05-18 19:06:05 · answer #3 · answered by mangopuppy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she drops the charges most DA`s will press the charges themselves. The state will take over. You better sign up for anger management classes fast dude. They are gonna have your a s s!! Been there done that and I got time in jail and I didn`t do what you did. I got 90 days and then had to do 28 anger management classes afterwards. And the judge let me off light. You won`t win this . No man ever does. Get some help quick or your screwed. All I did is push mine down to get her off of me and threw a cup of water on her and I got 90 days.
2007-05-18 18:56:15 · answer #4 · answered by bren_jim 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're NOT a bad guy for hitting someone?? No one can really answer your question. Even if she cheated on you, you shouldn't hit her. Now in this case it doesn't seem like she cheated on you. Why would you hit someone just because it "escalated really fast"? Just because you got into an argument? I wouldn't help you with your problem. You've got someone hurt, don't you even realize that? You should have anger management programs or something. And you're asking help from the whole world so that you could convince her that "you love her" from other people's options? Man, to be honest, I really hope you're screwed.
2007-05-18 18:54:37 · answer #5 · answered by Central Park 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
An abuser will ALWAYS try to blame the victim. You are a user and an abuser and your girlfriend was smart to get out. I suggest getting some anger management classes. You NEVER hit a woman... ever... It was YOUR fault. You can not justify it.
Congratulations, now no matter what you do or where you go, you are a physical abuser.
2007-05-18 18:55:07 · answer #6 · answered by Mika 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
... Every guy in my school (note that this is middle school) knows that you don't hit a girl, no matter how angry you are! If they can fight back or not, you simply don't hit them.
Anyway, don't tell her it was her fault, it will only get you in deeper trouble, tell her that you know you were an idiot (emphasize you part in the trouble) and you are incredibly sorry, that you know you shouldn't have hit her, and that it was only because the argument got out of control, and I don't know what else, you'll know you're forgiven if she says that it wasn't entirely your fault. Jsut say your sorry, have a friend deliver hte messege.
2007-05-18 19:02:59 · answer #7 · answered by Crappy Haircut Girl 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just lost your right to be called a "Man"! So what if she got sassy? That gives you no right to hit her! You are weasel hitting a woman. Don't you have any character? Only a coward would hit a woman! You are lucky that your g/f is not related to me or is a friend of mine because I would make sure that you could never use your arms again to hit anybody!
2007-05-18 18:59:00 · answer #8 · answered by curtf1964 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow I been in your shoes on both sides... My ex-boyfriend hit me many occasions I got fed up and got him arrested... I pressed charges but ended up dropping them b/c I loved him so we got back together.... Last month he pissed me off when he kept calling me to insult me when he was the one who cheated and destroyed our 5 year relationship over some girl who he is now having a baby with... He instigated me so I beat him up and he went to the police and got me arrested....
My best advice is to give her time she must be really angry and if she received a temporary restraining order and you bother her by talking, texting, or having any type of contact with her you will be violating it and will be put back in jail... Leave it alone until the court date....
If this was your first offense usually they will give you anger management and you must complete it..... COMPLETE IT!!!! If she drops the charges the state will pick up after it so I suggest you leave her alone.... Nothing really big is going to happen believe me I been there done that....
BEST OF LUCK :)
2007-05-18 18:57:23 · answer #9 · answered by marleen 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well all i can say that you can do is. FORGET IT.. why the hell would she want you back.. You knoe guys like you give us good guys a bad name. I think you should be charged and rot in jail. And who knows. Maybe BUBBA will take you in and use you as a little bitc# that you are..Hope you didn't mind me saying that. But it felt good.
2007-05-18 18:54:45 · answer #10 · answered by chriswh90 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋