Cast or no cast?

Question

When we were younger we were very good friends.
We go to to the same church and we are very close in age.(20 & 19)
But I am very shy around her.
She has dated other guys,but I've never dated anyone (I only want to date her.)
But now I am in a cast.
Should I wait until the cast is removed to tell her?
(I'm afraid that me being in a cast will embarass her.)
Also give me some tips on a good way to start this conversation.

We've know each other since we were 6yrs old.

I'm not really shy,
I just feel like I wouldn't "measure up" to her past boyfriends.

I've had my hair cut since then.
I just haven't had a chance to change my avatar yet.

The cast is on my left leg.
Also the reason I have it is because of some surgery I wanted to have.
I have a slight case of cerebral palsy.
I thought that having a bf with cp might be a total turnoff.So I had the surgery to fix my leg.

Do you think that me having cp will effect her decision?

Girls Only,
would you be "turned off" by someone with slight cp in 1 leg?

Answer 1

Pshh well u could be like me and talk TOO much. Dont wait till the cast is off, if she cares about u she really wont care if you have a cast. Just say we've known each other for so long, were friends.... but I want to be more then that. I havent dated anyone else because I've been waiting for you, and I just wanted to know if you felt anything for me, cause if not im really gonna feel like an idiot, the SMILE reealllllllllll big :)
haha hope this helped

Answer 2

no problem buddy I'll answer your question, you answered mine right? well you knew her for a long time and if you wanna get with her it would risk ending your friendship and she probably wont go for you cuz she might think of you as a brother almost, I'm not exactly sure how things are between you two but If I were you and I was her friend since I was six then I wouldn't do it. But on the other hand If you can't hide your feelings from her then just take a risk and ask her if she wants to go on a date. If she says yes then Okay if no then tuff luck. If I were you I would ask her out a few days before the cast is removed to play up the sympothy card then on the date your cast is off and it's an excuse to celebrate. don't worry about trying to start a conversation just say what you wanna say!

Answer 3

Worrying about not measuring up to her past boyfriends is silly. There is a reason they're ex-boyfriends!!

Now, let's be real. You've liked this girl for some time, haven't you? And this cast is probably a recent thing. Most likely, it's your most recent excuse not to tell her how you feel about her. When the cast comes off, it will be another excuse. The real issue is that you don't have enough guts to tell her. It has nothing to do with the cast, right?!?!

I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just saying. :) There's nothing wrong with being nervous about telling someone that you think they're the coolest thing since sliced bread. It's normal to be nervous. Just recognize that your anxiety about this doesn't have anything to do with the cast. (Sorry if I'm off base, just seems to be what's going on.) And besides, if she's known you that long, then the cast as little to do with her opinion of you.

So what's my advice? Honesty is always the best policy. Be sincere. Be sweet. Let her know how you feel about her. It's ok if you're nervous! But it's better to say it than to always wonder what could have been (trust me on that one!). It doesn't matter when or where you do it, as long as you are alone and have the time to talk. Tell her that you've been thinking and want her to know that you think she's amazing. That you respect her and you admire the way she... you know, whatever it is about her that really gets you. But whatever you do, don't put yourself down or say things like "but I know you couldn't like someone like me...yahdeyah" that's silly. Just put it out there, take a chance, don't be afraid to get hurt, and see what happens! Let her know you don't want your feelings to change your friendship, and that is what matters most to you. And if it doesn't turn out the way you wanted, hopefully you can still be friends. But at least you can say you tried and try to move on. But hopefully she feels the same way and you can finally be together! Yay!

Hope that helps!

Answer 4

Nothing stirs a girls heart like a man saying he wants her. I think you will be fine, although nervous. My husband has only dated me, but I have had 5 marriage proposals before him. The lack of " experience" never crossed my mind. \
However, if it crosses her mind then you might want to ask yourself if she is the right one for you.
Things like experience and casts do not matter.
Approach her with the cast and let her know how you feel. If the cast embarresses her then she's not good enough for you. It would definitely be a good way of finding out and possibly saving you more heartache.
When you approach her, make sure it is somewhat private and not in front of a crowd so she does not feel put on the spot.
And don't put yourself down or compare yourself to her other past boyfriends. Past for a reason. Everyone is different, thus every relationship. You can feel confident that given the chance, you can do better than they and that is what you should be telling yourself. She will probably be wondering if its the case too.
I can't exactly tell you what to say, because its not my heart. So, speak from your heart and the sincerity will show.
Oh, thanx for answering my question.

Answer 5

Well, First of all, It doesn't matter whether your in a cast, have no legs, or have one eye. Screw all that stuff. If she doesn't date you because of a cast then that's stupid. Don't wait. Just go for it!

Second, Don't be shy. The worst thing that could happen is she would say she just wants to be friends. You have nothing to loose but so much to gain. I'm a really shy person. But, when it comes to liking/loving someone, WHO CARES! I like/love them and that's all that matters.

Third, there is no easy way to start a conversation like that. No matter what it is going to be hard. Just sit her down alone. Take her hands in yours and tell her exactly how you feel. Look into her eyes the whole time. Don't look away for more than a few seconds when you do. When you look a girl in the eyes it shows that you know what you want and that you'll do anything to get it and confident.


So, just be confident in your self! Don't hold back. Take the plunge!


xoxo
Jacky

Answer 6

Have no fear. You have known her all your life. Just tell her how you feel. If you she rejects you fine, if she wants to be with you, thats fine too. Either way open your heart & let it flow. And make sure your feeling are conditional, meaning that you will like her as long as she likes you. She may not see you in the same way. Be sure that you're feeling are genuine & you want the best for both of you, whether you end up together or not. And why wait to get out the cast. Tell her now. Draw or write how you feel on the cast so she can read it. Or invite her over & have a flower or lunch for her so you guys can talk. Just say - He baby, I've loved you since I was a liitle boy. I love you now. I see you with these other guys & I have not told you because of our friendship. I dont know if you feel the same about me, but consider this. You know me better that anyone and vice verse. And before you respond, just know that I am & will continue to be your friend as long as you will have me.

Answer 7

As a girl, I think the cast would be a thing that would make her want to take care of you (womanly instincts;) ) I think the most important thing here is to build the friendship back up. I think the only reason I've been dating my bf for so long is because we were good friends first. We weren't inseparable, but we would hang out at least once a week. AND, he had dated other girls, but he was my first bf. So I know what kind of thing you're going through. So just concentrate on becoming friends (if you're not already) and then ask her to hang out just the two of you. You never know what can happen from there:) God works in mysterious ways!Good luck!

Answer 8

You should tell her. I know that it sucks to keep stuff like that bottled up inside of you. There's this guy that I'm friends with and know I like him as more of a friend. I want to just come out and tell him everything.

Okay, it shouldn't matter if you have a cast on or not. Actually, with a cast she might feel some sympathy for you. That's a good thing. But if she really likes you then she wouldn't care if you were in a cast or not. She would just like you for who you are. But if your nervous about what she will say then just ask around to her friends. Ask what you think they would say. You sound like a nice person. Girls always like that.

They also like the truth.
I wish you luck.

Answer 9

Actually you just came upon a good person to answer since an old boyfriend of mine had slight CP, and walked with a limp. When there is attraction and connection between people you end up not even seeing the limp. In fact it can actually become their special trademark. My old boyfriend never had any trouble getting women, and was always very popular. I think you should be simple, and straightforward. You should ask her to go the movies, out for a bite to eat or whatever you like to do. I would ask her out as soon as possible because if she was to find a boyfriend you might lose your chance. If she is right for you she'll go out with you cast and all. If not she wasn't worth it. Good luck..

Answer 10

If this woman rejects you because you have CP and are in a cast, I think you'd be better off knowing this right away. It's hard to know how others respond to medical issues in another. I know. I have confronted many illnesses and still have two serious diagnoses that I'm sure might compromise any future relationships I might pursue. I also know of healthy people who predecease their spouses with medical issues.

Meredith Viera, co-anchor of The Today Show, is married to someone with MS. They have each spoken openly about the joys as well as the hurdles they have had to face in their marriage.

Ask your friend out for coffee or lunch. Tell her straight up that your feelings go well beyond friendship. Talk with her about everything that concerns you: your illness, your shyness and how it has made it so difficult for you to tell her that you love and admire her and want to date.

Confronting your shyness may be a way for the two of you to develop a closer relationship. Perhaps you could find a mutual interest -- music, art, books -- that you could share.

I found an interesting article that discusses:

5 Ways Of Overcoming Shyness

Overcoming shyness depends on your ability to find practical
advice that works. Fortunately, this is a realistic
goal.

Even the most confident people have situations that cause
them to be shy. Even famous personalities and very
successful business people experience shyness at times. (if
only they knew the best ways for overcoming shyness)

Shyness is nothing to be ashamed of and you can overcome it
when you learn the right way to go about it. The problem is
that you have not been exposed to accurate, proven ways for
overcoming shyness....


1. Some of the components of shyness are lack of
self-confidence and anxiety around others, difficulty
carrying on a conversation, and a lack of knowledge about
the expected behavior in social situations. If you want to
make progress overcoming shyness you need to attend to
these issues.

Shy people can be very intimidated by people in general.
Learning ways for overcoming shyness may seem like an
insurmountable task, but help is available to you through
several sources.

2. You must first determine why you are shy. There are
always underlying reasons for the way a person reacts in
certain situations.

Next, try behaving in a confident manner in private and
practice until you begin to see results in public. Walk
confidently and speak firmly and soon you'll find yourself
behaving the same confident way in social settings.

As ridiculous as it may seem, forcing yourself to act as
if you are not shy can be very helpful in learning how to
overcome shyness altogether.

3. One way to boost your self-confidence is to always look
your best. Looking great makes you feel great and does
wonders for your self-esteem.

Reduce your fear of rejection by imagining worst
case scenarios and how you will handle them. Then if the
outcome is less traumatic than you imagine, you won't dwell
on the rejection near as much.

Observing strangers and acquaintances and how they relate
to others can also be a great tool in learning how to
overcome shyness.

4. If you are having difficulty overcoming shyness, join
clubs or go to events that interest you. It's a lot more
comfortable to engage in conversations with those who have
common interests.

The initial conversation will be much easier since you'll
already have a topic of conversation that interests you both.

5. If you do not have the confidence to approach someone
new, then smile and try to be approachable. Most people are
receptive to a smile and a friendly face. Overcoming shyness
can start with something as simple as a smile!

You could also consider taking someone that you are comfortable
with along to lessen your anxiety. Shy people are extremely
reluctant to take the risk of approaching new people.