Dealling with the death of a Child?

Question

3 weeks ago my wonderful 19 year old son was killed in a car accident. Everyone in the house but me seems to be able to get back to life. I have panic attacks when I try to go back to work (i'm a nurse in pediatrics). Does anyone know what to try or do to try to get back to being "normal"? I have to get back to work before we get into real financial trouble. PLEASE help!

Answer 1

This is a really hard thing for a parent.

Something I learned recently -- (some) Funeral homes provide a number of services -- all included in the fees. One of the services is that Grief Counseling for family members is available for the first year. This might be a good thing to check-into for yourself.

Answer 2

I am also so sorry for your loss. I can understand how awful it must feel, the place that you are in now. You are in your darkest days and on top of that you have to worry about going back to work in a high stressed-pressured job as nursing.

When I lost my mom it took me a long time to get back to my internship. I felt lost, that the whole world changed, that I didn't even know how to talk to people. Now, I realize that it would have been better for me if I could have gone back to work, SLOWLY...... Not a long normal day. With your job, you are going to start feeling again helping other people.

I know that there are support groups in your area, can you get involved? Hospice can get you in touch with a group. There is going to be a time where your experiences are going to mean something really important to another person. They are going to come to you and ask you how you dealt or deal with the loss of a child. And, you will be able to tell them... One day at a time.. That is what you will have to do. Don't give up. There are going to be many tears but you will make it. YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT....

Answer 3

Everyone has different ways of dealing with the death of a loved one. Have you thought about talking to a therapist to help you move on? As for the panic attacks I would go to a doctor and talk to him about a mild anti depressant which will help with your depression and your panic attacks. Or even something like zanics (not sure about the spelling) that is specifically for panic attacks that you can take when you feel one coming on. I'm sorry for you loss and I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 4

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Perhaps, you should transfer to another part of the hospital. I think pediatrics would be impossible after losing a child, all of those babies pulling at your heart strings. No wonder you can't function. My child only left home and I cried for over a year, of course we weren't on speaking terms and I was heart broke. He finally came home and apologized and now things are great again. My God, how you must be suffering. Consider transferring to another department in the hospital, that may help clear your head. Once again, you've made me cry, I am so sorry for your loss

Answer 5

Just give it time my brother died when i was 16 and he was 22 and it took my mum a while to get used to it, you will be able to get back into a normal routine and remember as long as the memory stays with you he will never be forgotten.

Id just like to say how sorry i am for you and hope i helped

Answer 6

First of all I am sorry for your loss, I don't know what its like to loose a child,hope I never have to, but two of my brothers lost their young kids to cancer, and my sister died having a baby, and my dad died when I was 18. I know this doesn't compare to what you have went through. Gods mercy endureth forever, he will walk you through this if you let him, and he will meet you where you are at right now. After dad died I watched certain family members get stuck in fear, and they let the panic attacks rule their life. When I fealt one coming on, I closed my eyes for a second and uttered Jesus name and ask him to help me take baby steps. Through me taking this first act of faith, he got me through it. Just take it slow, and pray every step of the way, memorize a scripture that will give you strength,(I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me) when this feeling of panic comes over you, quote that scripture out loud or in your head, and step out on faith. Go to the christian bookstore and pick up a necklace that says He does not give us a spirit of fear, but of peace and a sound mind. I bought a ring from there, that says Fear Not, I wear it now as my wedding ring. You will look at that to remind you that you will make it.

Answer 7

my sister's daughter was murdered, so in a way i understand what you are going through. you first of all have to allow yourself time to greive for your son. each one takes a different amount of time to deal with an issue like this. you will get past this, in your own time. as a nurse tou know that in time you can come to grips with your lose! in the mean time turn it over to god, to give you the strength to get through this emotional time. you will always long to see and hold your son, but with time you will have the peace you need knowing that your son isn't suffering . I am sorry for your lose! may god bless and keep you and your family.

Answer 8

PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I AM SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT. I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANYTHING ANYONE CAN TELL YOU. TO HELP YOU GET OVER LOOSING A CHILD. I AM SO SO SO SORRY. I WILL PRAY FOR YOU. MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL. I LOVE YOU I REALLY MEAN THAT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. I WILL PRAY THAT YOU GET STRONGER. TALK TO THE LORD SWEETIE I CAN TELL YOU THAT.

Answer 9

if u need suport i am here ok? [e-mail]. try also www.mamashealth.com/grief/
deathchild.asp. try also www.compassionatefriends.org/
Brochures/first_responders.htm. try also anxiety-and-
depression-solutions.com. good luck.

Answer 10

give it to god ..ask him he is the only one who can really help and give you an answer