Old Harold??

Question

Harold was an old man who was sick and in the hospital. There was one young nurse that just drove him crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doing this morning, or are we ready for a bath, or are we hungry?"

Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, Old Harold had breakfast, pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his bed side stand. He had been given a urine bottle to fill for testing.

The juice was apple juice. So .. You know where the juice went! The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it. "My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today ."

At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time."

The nurse fainted.....Old Harold just smiled!

Answer 1

OMG! hilarious! needed the laugh!

Answer 2

I think I know that guy. He was in the hospital for a boil on his butt. It was way up in the crack and the pain was so bad he couldn't even sit on one of those donut things. He wasn't sleeping well, so he was crankier'n usual. Finally he went to the doctor, who did some tests and took some X-rays, basically everything he could to jack the price up. Then he says there's nothing he can do it's too close to his(Harold's) spine and if he tries to lance it there a possibility of a serious spinal infection. The best I can do for you is give you some antibiotics and pain relievers. Harold was not happy about this at all. $350 for two bottles of pills was not his idea of a deal. If this is the same Harold then you know he likes his deals. As he was stomping out of the office another patients runs up to him and tells him about a guy who once helped him with a similar problem.
He said "His name's Harvey Pussucker and he lives down by the docks. Just take 2 bottles of the cheapest whiskey you can find and he'll be more than happy to help you out. Just ask anybody down there where to find him they all know him."
So Harold heads straight to the liquor store, buys 2 bottles, and straight down to the docks.
" Hey, Where can I find Harvey Pussucker"
he yells at a lady standing in front of a house. She points him in the right direction. After a few more helpful hints he's walking through a lot that seems to be abandoned but for the smoke coming out of a small lean-to at the back. He knocks on the side of it and an old man pokes his head out
"Whad duh yuh Want?"
"Are you Harvey Pussucker?"
"Whad's it to ya'?"
"Someone told me that you might be able to help me with a little problem I got" And he holds the bottles up
Old Harvey's eyes light up when he sees those bottle and he says

"Come on in young felluh and let's see whud I can do."

Harold shows him the boil

"Yuh, It's a nasty one but I've seen worse"

"What can you do?"

"Jus' lean over dis old tire, grit your teeth and, close your eyes"

Harold feels damp warm air on his butt, then a sharp pain as Harvey bites the boil with his one remaining tooth. Then sweet relief as Harvey sucks the pus from it. The relief was too much for old Harold and he ripped a horrendous fart
Harvey stands up spitting pus all over the place and yells:








"YOU KNOW IT'S PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT MAKE THIS JOB DISGUSTING"

Answer 3

Very smart. The nurse sounds like a b*tch. Kudos to Harold.

Answer 4

Hahahaha! Ah, that's a Dandy! LOL.

Answer 5

Aahh good to the last chuckle.

Answer 6

Good one. Very old joke, but still good.

Answer 7

hahaha!! that hilariosu

Answer 8

lol

Answer 9

nasty lol