my bf is pressuring me...?

Question

i made a promice to my churchto stay a virgin until im married. My bf has totally supported me but lately he has been nagging me to have sex with him. I don't want to do it until im married but he says that we love each other so it doesn't matter. what should i do?

Answer 1

I don't know how old you are, but your going to end up making a choice. You can either choose to obey your promise to your church and stay a virgin, or you can choose to find a new boyfriend. I promise you, he will not wait around for marriage. If you are in your teens, forget about it, you are going to loose him no matter what you do.

Answer 2

If you are not comfrtable with having sex, I don't think you should have sex. If you aren't ready you aren't ready.

I can't speak from a religious stand point, however, I feel the concept of waiting until marrige is out-dated. I don't know how religious you are, but there is a lot of wisdom of knowing what you are getting involved in with a person before you marry them. With divorce rates so high, and many of the other draw backs of being married, I think it is important to make sure you love everything that goes along with someone you marry, and that includes being sexually compatible.

Also "playing the field" a little bit as they say could also help you find out what it is you are looking for (which could be different than what you are looking for now).

In the end only you can decide when is right for you. I think it is a question you need to ask yourself, and come up with an answer to yourself.

Answer 3

I'm in the exact same position you are. My bf also supported me for the longest time, he even went out and bought me a promise ring, but lately, he's been asking me about sex 24/7. Maybe it's the season ?

For you, I'd suggest seriously talking to him, first. It worked for me, but after about a month, he was back at it. I feel that I shouldn't have to beg someone to respect me, and since I've already asked him once, I'm not doing it again. So I've made the decision to break up with him.

So, I'd say first, try and get your bf to understand this is a make or break thing for you. If the nagging doesn't stop, break up with him. It's been my experience that there are plenty of good men out there, men who will give you the respect you deserve.

Answer 4

Do what you believe is right for you.

If you feel that it is time then that is up to you, if you feel that you should wait that is up to you.

I made the same promise at the age of 13. However, I did lose my virginity and I'm not married and a single mother, I was 21 when I did decide to go all the way. But it was my decision and I felt I was ready.

Only you can decide if you are ready for something that serious. If he doesn't respect you, then he doesn't love you or care about what you feel.

Answer 5

It DOES matter. It's still sin regardless of whether you love each other or not. " I love you" is NOT a committment neither is sex, or shacking up or "I love you" sex and shacking up."I do" is a committment.So tell him, not until I'm married so forget it bud! Stick to it. Some guys will tell a girl he respects that just to get on her good side in hopes she will relax her standards and trust him and have sex with him.If he does love you he will STOP pressuring you if not he wont and he will get mad and threaten to break up etc. Be brave AND be strong and do the RIGHT thing hon.You wont be sorry I promise.

Answer 6

You are going to be in for a big surprise on your wedding nite if you are a virgin. I think you are smart to stay a virgin unless you are ready, but fireworks do not go off on your wedding nite. As a matter of fact, some men are so well endowed, you better take a bottle of that KY warming jelly and a bottle of whiskey.
I dont think you should have sex with your boyfriend. He is pressuring you and thats just wrong. Wait until you find the one you are in love with and has patience with you and is gentle and kind.

Answer 7

It's a tough balance between the two. On the one hand you want to keep a boyfriend who really is a nice guy. On the other hand you also want to keep your promise to God and the church. Above all, however, you have to keep your promise to yourself. There's no reason you HAVE to have sex and if he dumps you because you won't then he is a jerk and really isn't very honorable.

However, having said all of that, you must also realize what is going on inside his body. A guy reaches his peak of sexual drive somewhere around 17. After that, it's all down hill, slowly sure, but still down hill. A woman doesn't reach her peak until her late 30s. This is why so many young women complain about being pressured when they are in their teens and so many married women complain about not getting sex enough after they have been married for 15-20 years.

It's a tough balance, but above all, remain true to yourself. You will regret it if you give up on your own beliefs.

Answer 8

If he cant wait then hes not for you....Do not let him manipulate you he will have sex with you dump you and go to someone else or just sleep around because you wont sleep with him if the thought is entering his mind that means hes gonna do anything he can to get "some" including not waiting on you so hes not the one for you go with your instinct and stay a virgin until you marry.

Answer 9

It is whatever your heart tells you. I was the one who thought of waiting till marriage but I didn't. I am 23 now and have a 5 year old boy who's real father ain't no where to be found. It is not easy being a young single mother and I could have changed that if I had only done what I wanted and waited. But it is your decision and you do what your heart tells you to. Good luck hun.

Answer 10

ANY male that pressures a female to have sex with them is desperate. He will look at you in a whole new light, and you are no longer a "challenge" to him. Once he gets the coveted crown, trust me his appearance with you will suddenly dwindle.

I lost my virginity to someone whom I thought loved me. We dated for a year and a half, and under pressure and threats of him leaving me, I did it. STUPID MISTAKE. Please do not give in to his advances. If he REALLY wants to be with you , he will wait, propose and marry you BEFORE all the extra stuff falls into place . Remember God will ALWAYS be there for you while the skirt chasers are doing just that. PLEASE DO NOT DO IT!! No male that loves you will pressure you to do a thing!Trust me, he will move on and find something else to spaz about other than sex.He can get that anywhere!