Is being a mother REALLY the hardest job in the world?

Question

People always say that being a mother is SO hard and SO much work. To tell you the truth, after listening to this for my whole life, I'm kinda scared to have a kid. I'm 35, so my energy level isn't what it use to be. I'm thinking that maybe I don't have it in me.

I don't think my mom worked that hard, even though she says it was the hardest thing she ever did. She only had one child and spent 3 hours a day watching soap operas (if she doesn't watch her soap operas, she acts like she's going to die). She also played hearts with her girlfriends every week and knitted all the time. EVEN SO...she says that raising me was tedious and very difficult.

Please be honest...I've had almost zero experience with little kids, so what is it really like?

Answer 1

i have 5 children, i don't think i have or will ever refer to raising my children as the hardest job, it is the most rewarding , and i am blessed to be given this job, my oldest is 17 my youngest is 8 months, i love my children, it is the best job, i would not trade it for anything, please don't listen to these people when deciding to have or not have children, it is a gift, i think the harder job is growing up, your mom, must have other issues and i am sure you are aware of that or you would not have spoken about her that way, my children would never speak of me that way, if you don't want it to be work, then give it all you got do it right or the best you can, don't know if anyone does it right, but if you parent from the heart, make decisions from love, it is not a job, and you cannot judge parenting on being with other children, my sister is rotten with kids, but she is a wonderful mother, be a mom, tedious and very difficult, hmmm i bet it was no ball game being her daughter

Answer 2

Some days it is the hardest job and other days it is the best! I stay at home with my 5 year old and 3 year old and have one on the way in Dec. Today for instants was on of the hard days. My 3 year old and I had to be in town all day paying bills and grocery shopping. Of couse we missed his nap so he was cranky and that made the whole day seem that much more unbearable.
I don't spend 3 hours a day doing anything for myself and I don't get to go out with my friends very often. When I have down time away from my kids it is usually only for a couple hours to catch a movie or dinner with my husband or to run to the store alone. My best friend lives 60 miles away and we both have busy lives. We speak on the internet a few times a week. My only "me" time comes after the little "angles" are in bed and I can get on the computer or take a long hot bath then.
Raising children can be difficult but I wouldn't trade even those days for the world! My children are my life and that is the way I think it should be. I didn't always think that though. I was the one in my group of friends that always said that I would never get married or have children because it was a waste of time. Kind of funny how I was the 1st to do both!
Good luck to you whatever you choose. It will be the right decision for you I am sure!

Answer 3

Hmm. I haven't held every other job in the world, so I can't say for sure. Ha ha.

I think the thing that makes it so hard is that it is DIFFERENT than any other job. You don't get a coffee break. You don't get a weekend. You don't get a vacation. You don't get paid. No one gives you a glowing performance review. No chance for promotion. Sometimes you might feel underappreciated.

And it requires skills that most jobs don't. Patience. You do a lot of the same, seemingly mundane things over and over. Even things that are fun at first, get monotonous. It requires a generosity of spirit and selflessness that is not typically required of you in the corporate world.

Finally, it's emotionally taxing. The love you have for your child is overwhelming. So it brings a whole new level of worry and commitment.

I don't know if it's the hardest job in the world. I think the people that complain a lot about parenting would probably be the same people who complain a lot about their job outside the home. People who are happy being parents were usually happy before they were parents.

For me, it is worth it. It's a huge adjustment and you just have to accept that things in your life have changed, but that this season of life is only temporary. You're creating a childhood for your child, so there is meaning even in the most repetitive part of your day. Sometimes you go through phases where you struggle (sleep issues, feeding issues, certain ages), but they pass.

It's truly a joy to be a parent. Your child just amazes you and delights you. There is nothing better than watching them do all their little milestones. You wouldn't believe how thrilling a first tooth can be, for example.

If you'd like, you can get a little experience with kids now. It will give you a sense of the less fun aspects, like spit up and tantrums. BUT, other people's children don't compare to your own. Your own children are MUCH more rewarding and easy to love! :)

I worried about becoming a parent. What if I don't like it as much as I think I will, I wondered. So I decided to just start with one. If it was a big disaster, I could stop there.

I do think spacing your kids out a bit makes life much easier. I don't know how people who have four children back to back do it. I think that kind of parenting takes much more energy and patience. Naps won't always overlap and they may never get a down moment.

Finally, one more thing. If you do become a mom, please please please join a parenting/play group (MOPS or PEPS or Mothers/Kids Day Out). You would be amazed at the difference it makes to share the parenting experience with other people. Also, a weekly date night or something like that really help keep you refreshed and when you go to a movie and can't concentrate because you miss your child so much (this always happens to me) you'll have a whole new appreciation for parenthood when you get home.

If you have any maternal urges at all I would encourage you to have a baby. The first year is hard, but it becomes so much fun and it is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Answer 4

It really is the hardest job but....It is also THE MOST REWARDING ENLIGHTENING LIFE EXPERIENCE you will ever go through!!! Your baby makes every difficult minute of it more than worth it & should you choose to become a mother I don't imagine you would ever regret it.

Also in regard to your mother...I think the previous generations mothered a little differently than we do today. Not better, not worse just different. Many of them spent more time tending to the house or gossiping with their girlfriends while the children entertained each other or played or whatever. Today with all of the studies & new research going on mothers are running themselves around like crazy trying to ensure that "baby" gets everything s/he needs to develop properly & thrive while at the same time looking after the house, husband, pets & for some holding down a full or part time job. I think now there is so much emphasis on stimulating your baby & children educationally, creatively, physically, & emotionally that by the time a mother gets done taking care of those things the best she can there isn't much time left for soaps or bingo or whatever.

So basically to be a mother today is much different than it was to be a mother 10, 20, or even 30 years ago but nonetheless it is a hard job. The hardest and always has been but again it is soo much more than worth it.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

Answer 5

As a mother of two, I would say I can think of harder jobs. For example, I think something like brain surgery or working in a coal mine would be harder. The thing that makes being a parent hard is the fact that you are on the job 24 hours. Even when everyone is sleeping, you are thinking about it. Don't let that discourage you, though. Somehow you find the energy, and the rewards are unbelievable. You will be the most important person in that child's world (at least until he or she is a teenager!) It's impossible to explain to someone what being a parent is like. Even watching someone else's child won't give you a good idea, because you have the work without the overwhelming love. Good luck!

Answer 6

Yes, but equally rewarding. You cannot be selfish and be a good mother and that is what makes it so hard - it is human nature to think of ones self first, but being a mother demands that you put your children first and then if you are married that makes the job even bigger. Today, most mothers/wives also work outside the home. Being a mother is a 24-hour job and you will never get a vacation or be able to retire from motherhood. But absolutely nothing you will ever do in your lifetime will ever compare to the importance of a mother's job. To get the privilege of bringing a life into this world, nurturing, shaping it and watching it grow each and every single day - words just can't express the joy and pride a mother feels towards her children. Somehow, the tears, pain and all that work just seems to melt away when you baby say’s I love you for the first time.

Answer 7

Yes it is the hardest job! I've held a few high level jobs in fast paced industries where I worked 60+ hours per week and being a stay at home Mom to a toddler is by far the most time consuming and exhausting BUT it is the most rewarding!

I think the hardest part is the realization that time is no longer your own; you need to adjust your schedule to your child's needs (ex. naps, meals, etc.) I takes some getting used to but if you really want to bring a child into this world then being realistic about how your life is going to change will help. That is not to say the world revolves around your child exclusively but you will need to do some creative scheduling. Meeting other Mom's after you have a baby is helpful b/c they are all going thru the same adjustment period and it's nice to have allies.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

It is the hardest job. But maybe for different reasons then you think. It is hard because it is 24/7. You are responsible for another human being. Sometimes kids can be the biggest brats and it is hard to have to handle continuously. But at the end of the day it is the best experience you will ever have. The love you feel for your child is like nothing else.

For me the hard part is worrying so much. I only let my mom babysit for me and that is only for a few hours twice a week. But even then you still worry... are they eating the right things, are they safe etc.

I would tell you to go for it. At 35 you dont have much more time to think about having a baby. It is not something you want to miss out on. It is definitely worth it.

Answer 9

Every one has a different experience but from mine, once you have a child and your friends have children, it changes your relationship with them. I used to be very close to a few of my friends but we had children at different ages and so the age difference between our kids made it harder to do things together as a group.

Then I also know some women who just threaten their kids with punishments and never follow through and their kids will beat on my kids and get no consequences and it is hard to teach my kids what is the right thing to do and do I have to stay away from those moms.

Then the housework never stops...but I have 3. I have to do 1-2 loads a day or it piles up fast! So does the dishes. I do a lot of the work after the kids are in bed because there is no sense while they are up.

Then there is the worry. My husband and I worry all the time if we are making the right decisions for our kids because we take parenting very serious. There are days I wish I didn't have kids because it really changes your life. But then there are days I can't picture my life without them because they really keep me going and make me laugh =)

Answer 10

At times raising a kid can be the hardest job. I think the hardest times are when your child tries to test their limits, they through tantrums in stores, don't always listen when you say no, whine, get into stuff they know they're not supose to, fight with other kids, make messes. Kids just test your patients, & some how they wear you out. I wouldn't say it's always hard the full 8 hrs (like if you were working a normal job), but during difficult times, it is the hardest thing. But it can also be rewarding & fun. And there are some good things you never forget. Sometimes kids can be so sweet, it's the other times that's so hard.

Answer 11

I had my first child at 32 and my second at 35. Yes raising children is hard but, its brings you so much joy that you forget about how hard it really is. I am raising 2 and I must say that I don't have time to watch soap operas or play cards,my time is spent with my family. It is the hardest but, the most wonderful job in the world. I still have plenty of energy!!