Today i cryed at a jobcentre advisor...?

Question

... this time maybe i blown it. The advisor told me she could not help me. I had children young, i made a mistake to some. i worked before these nippers came along however family never supported me, so i left my job, since then ive hated every moment being a claimant - i went to college at 20 hoping to study a diploma and degree that will lead me onto work. This study required me to volunteer and so i slugged it out, getting broke for childcare etc, i did it, And still 2 years of cv canvassing, which i more or less do each day (theres only so many jobs in one village) im not in a city. and i dont drive a car but im learning too. Im still here at the end. im shamed of my life. do you still hate me? after watching all these jeremy kyle shows i feel like the scum on there , that aint bothered to get up in the morning. Im different i want to work. I pleaded begged and cryed.

thank you all for being so supportive i was expecting abuse.

Answer 1

Be proud of your achievements, you are a mum, you have studied and you are learning to drive, i also studied childcare and it is a great job to do...

See if your local has a supply list, with a childcare certificate it enables you to work in any sector , ie council education, private nursery, social work and family centres, youth work, classroom assistant and much more, with working on supply, you can get lots of work at different places covering sick leave and maternity leave, it adds more to your cv.

Do not let people make you feel like "scum", do not beg or plead, the right job will come along.
Get down to all of your childcare centres, introduce yourself, and ask if you can help out, voluntary work can lead to full time employment.

Good luck and don't give up x

Oh and the advisor is talking out her butt saying she can no longer help, it is their job to help, ask for another advisor and report her...

Answer 2

I agree with summersweet1969. Stop watching Jeremy Kyle, and any other such dross. The only reason programmes like this are aired is because someone deems them entertainment. They purposely go out of their way to find 'guests' that others might find abhorrent or in some way 'distasteful'.

People that really want to help won't drag you out (and down) in front of half the nation.

You don't say whether you actually qualified in any particular area and I don't, personally, see 'bits of paper' as the be all and end all of what makes a successful employee ... assuming, that is, that you want to work for someone else.

Having experience of shortlisting applicants, and then interviewing for jobs, I'd be more than happy to take a look at the CV that you're sending out to people. It's hard to say what specifics many given employers are looking for, but if you tell me what job it is your applying for I may be able to help you fill out an appealing CV. I'm not a professional in this matter, and I'm sure there are many people who would do a better job than me, but the offer's there.

It would be more than sad if anyone said that they hated you for not being able to work. I haven't worked now for some 16 years due to being retired on grounds of ill health.

I do appreciate just how badly not working can affect some people. I, myself, get rather down about it. What gets to me is that I'm willing to use the skills that I do have, and to learn new skills, in an attempt to gain employment. Sadly, due to my medical condition, this seems unlikely to happen. (I was even refused work as a telephone operator for Samaritans as I can't guarantee that I'll be conscious at any given time/day, yet I have skills that would suit that position admirably.)

Please don't feel ashamed of your life. The ones that should feel ashamed are those that have no intention of working ... the ones that are quite content to sponge off others.

I really can appreciate you must have been feeling 'low' when you spoke to the Jobcentre Adviser. That's evident from the fact that you begged and cried. Don't feel that you're not good enough. You are! What you need is a little help and guidance.

I wish you the very best of luck in future ventures.

Answer 3

Hi, i was at the job centre as well today and there really not that helpfull in helping you look for work. Think about it they work in a job centre themselves. How can they advise you on jobs. Some people dont want just a job they want a career and the "career's adviser's" seem to talk down to you. I'm 19 years old and struggling to even get a minumum wage job doing anythin. I went to college and did IT and its still hard, so i know the feeling. I think now theres a lot of "learn in your own time" courses that you can do, there often advertised on the TV depending on your area. Jeremy Kyle lol, the guests on that show are terrible, your not like them im sure. Forget Jeremy Kyle and stick on some 'Friends' or something lol. Your already learning to drive and bettering your situation as we speak. It might take a while but im sure you will get a job. Best of luck to ya (sorry its so long).

Answer 4

I don't hate you at all! I used to work for a community foundation and we funded lots of projects for disadvantaged groups. There should be a group to help you- a job club or scheme for supporting young mothers and helping them get back into work.

Where do you live? Do a google search and find a club near you, or check the local paper and your council's website for local schemes. My local library (the Ideas Store in Whitechapel) has a job club and there is a community employment group nearby- these places may be more use to you. You'll be with people in the same boat who know how hard it is for you, and the staff won't look down on you and instead they will encourage you. I used to be a claimant and hated every minute of it too- the staff don't seem to realise that treating claimants like they're all lazy, workshy and useless doesn't really help matters!

Maybe sign up with a job agency- even if you get temporary work it could lead to something more permanent and it'll help build your confidence, motivating you to find something new.

Finally, you seem depressed and stressed out, and while it's great that you're working so hard, it sounds like you're spreading yourself very thin. Maybe see a doctor and ask about treatments for depression- drugs, counselling or support groups for young mothers. It sounds like your confidence has taken a knock and you need something to help get you back on your feet. Remember that people *don't* hate you, and those who seem to are just prejudiced and not worth worrying about. Good luck!

Answer 5

Hey, look, no need to be ashamed, that does not help anyone, and really, but really, don't get me wrong here, but think about this: all the immigrants you read about in the Mail come here with nothing, they find jobs in a week, find somewhere to live, find friends, laugh, love, have parties, have a life. From zero.

Now, surely you can do that as well?! Can't you? Of course you can, just need to stop wasting your time with the jobcentre advisors (who are hardly qualified to give much advice, or they wouldn't be in that job) and find something real.

Like, work on yourself, become what you want to be. Figure it out. Nobody can teach you, you have to move your *** and do it yourself.

Oh, and yeah, but you have children. Well, that's another point, stop using your children as an excuse - they learn from that as well. They'll grow up and use their children as an excuse.

Go for it lady!

Answer 6

If you really want a job, look at these facts.
Find a hobby you really enjoy, something that may be involved with an actual career, such as computer building and repairing, childminding etc. Start to build on it, and if you do not have a computer go to a friend, family or your local library to use the interent. Look for job vacancies related to your hobby. You don't need an advisor to help get a job, Just look for what you think is right.

Answer 7

! stop watching Jeremy fckng kyle hes NO good!
2 you are trying don't let others now you insecure cos they will pick that up & in their tiny little sad minds they use that against you
3 we ALL make mistakes welcome to the human beings..
4 its great you went to college
5 move to the city but keep in mind its evrywhere the same you always take youreselve.. if you knlow what i mean .. but never ever give up or think you CANT cos we all have to proove to oure selves need a challange.. so i am sure you wil get out there and do what ever needed so you can be proud and make a difference especially for your children! X

Answer 8

Dont feel like scum cos you are not. I understand how u feel. I am in the same situation. I am single parent and am training to be a counsellor. But that requires me doing voluntary work also. So wot do you do? Do voluntary to help with your future or do paid work and let your studies slip. Its really hard. You are not like anyone of the jeremy kyle show. One day you will be where you want to be. Keep plodding on kid like i do. You will get there in the end. You sound like a good girl and good mum. Keep going xx

Answer 9

At least you have tried, No, don't ever feel defeated. Why should you blow it?, you are trying at least.So sorry to hear of your situation, it's not easy being a mother and looking for work. They don't think you have kids to look after. I feel for you as I know what it's like but I live in a city, it should be easier for me but it's not.Don't ever feel defeated, at least your trying. Good Luck, and SOD EM ALL.!!
Ps I don't watch Jeremy kyle [whoever he is]. I don't have t.v on in the daytime,

Answer 10

Dont let the "system",grid you down ,mentally or materially..Do not beat yourself up,your raising children very important job,bringing up next generation..Dont let this nasty system make you feel you getting money for nothing,what they hand out is a pittance..Personally gave up getting any benefits as what you gets not worth the hassle.....Chin up look at the good things you have done..Be Strong