How do I tell my boyfriend who is very afraid of commitment that I am pregnant?

Question

I have been seeing him for 6 months. We have always used condoms and just this one time, the condom came off in me. And I got pregnant! I do love him very much, and he cares deeply about me and he's said he loves me- but he was raised with some very cruel alcoholic parents he's messed up about relationships. He's reliable and has integrity, a solid guy, but this is unplanned. And I don't think he wants kids. At least he says he doesn't, though he's always very soft around kids. It's hard to know...Anyway, I am 38 and I don't want to terminate it. I love him but i am prepared to do this on my own. But I don;t know how to tell him. Please, no sarcastic answers.

Answer 1

well sweetie, what you have to do is just flat out tell him. There is no way to bead around the bush with this type of situation. It is a sad situation because it is unplanned, but also bringing a child into this world is the most beautiful thing a woman can do, if you guys are in a relationship and you feel as if you can talk to him, you need to tell him. It will be hard for you I know it will but you never know sweetheart, he might be excited about it and you guys maybe a beautiful and happy family.

Answer 2

There is no easy answer to this at all. He is probably frightened of commitment because he feels he may turn out to be a bad parent like his parents. It may be all about his own fear and not about how much he loves you or whats to be with you.

I congratulate your decision not to terminate and your resolve to keep the baby whatever. You are obviously a strong and determined woman.

The short answer is, create an environment where you can talk or even go out for a meal. Then let him know and see what his reaction is. Remember even if it is initially negative give it time, he is dealing with his own fear. But it may be positive, and I hope it is, after all he would be a fool to let you both go.

The statics show that many people who were abuse go onto abuse there children. Be aware of this but do not let it hold you back. I was abused physically, emotionally and I have wonderful kids and have never harmed them.

You can do all the planning in the world, setting the scene, saying the right things, reminding him of the good times and how you feel about each other. All of these things are important. But if he doesn't think you are wonderful by now, he never will.

Grit your teeth and tell him.

Answer 3

From personal experience just tell him. I didn't because the guy I was seeing, an alcoholic, because he found someone else before I knew I was pregnant. I ended up working with the new g/f and I told her straight out and she told me I needed to talk to him. I tried and he chose to ignore me, but he discussed it with his family. To the point that his twin sister went back and figure out when I got pregnant and of course she had to admit that it was his. She had left him at my house on several overnight occasions. That was at the age of 35 almost 7 years ago now. I relocated and have not spoken with the father in at least 5 years. If he runs then you are better off. I know that seems harsh but I have been there.

Answer 4

Well since he is the one the condom came off of, I am sure he knows this was a possibility. Just explain to him that you are in fact pregnant and you have chosen to keep it. Let him know that he is welcome to be a part of his child's life if he is willing to. Don't write the guy off, he may be more thrilled with the news then you think. You said yourself he is a man with integrity now just give him a chance to prove it to you. Some guys really do step up to the plate and take care of their responsibilities. But if he doesn't, you can still raise a healthy and happy child without him.

Answer 5

Well, He is gonna kinda spaz no matter what. So, i would say, you def have to be somewhere alone and where he is very comfortable. I would think, just sit him down, hold his hand, look him dead in his eyes for a few seconds. Let your eyes tell him that something important needs to be said, that will set the mood. Then just say it slowly and calmly. Since you dont want an abortion, i would say, you must say that as soon as possible. like "baby, im..... pregnant, i dont want to scare you away but i want to have a kid" or something like that, b/c that abortion thing goes into our heads FAST. Ive almost been there once. But just stay calm and be ready to see a side of a guy that is very uneasy. I wish the best of luck to you!

Answer 6

You can't beat around the bush, you have to tell him. You could maybe bring up the subject of family and see his views and such and tell him afterwards, but if you get a response that you don't like it may be even harder. you should ask him if there was something really important you wanted to talk to him about but you're not sure how he'd react, how he'd want you to tell him (make sure you re-assure him by letting him know it's not a bad thing like cheating!!!!). Or just sit him down, suck it up and tell him cuz that's the best way anyway! good luck!!!!

Answer 7

Well Congrats;
This is, when you really find out how much he loves you,
just be straight forward, If he really love you, he Will be happy and support you in any way a true love will, if he changes well you know he had never loved you and he was just there for pleasure not feelings,My father was an alcoholic, drug user and he was schizophrenic, and that only help me to be stronger and closer to my son, I really don't want him to go true what I did.
If there's Real Love don't worry about a thing!
Good Luck.

Answer 8

You are going to have to sit him down and come right out with it. He may surprise you and be very happy that he has the chance to actually have a family that he never had when he was younger. If he loves you, he will do the right thing. He has a right to know. I think you will be happy in the end, because being pregnant right now, you don't want any added stress on yourself.

Answer 9

You have to tell him in a causal way. Say some thing like remember when the C***** came off? Well, I think I am going to have your baby. But before you do that get an over the counter test and find out. They are pretty accurate.

Answer 10

I comprehend what you're dealing with i'm 22. i imagine your boyfriend needs a baby with you yet when he's not waiting to make your innovations as a lot as then you its perfect in case you purely have secure sex. women imagine with our thoughts and adult men imagine with their actual needs. He likely needed the actual area of having a baby and also you want the emotional area. do not promote your self short i'm confident he loves you and should be with you. possibly he's in simple terms perplexed and in a position to flow on. yet he comes decrease back i imagine you should attend to have a baby until eventually he's well-known with for confident what he needs in existence. in simple terms because each body has a baby would not propose you should. and also if he did get you pregnant that would not propose issues will be better perfect. It unquestionably will likely worsen. stay reliable and in simple terms supply issues time if he would not substitute or want to commit then its likely time to flow on.