Am I really pregnant for a reason ?

Question

My boyfriend dosen't want me to get an abortion, he was actually crying about :( And he says its for a reason, because he used a condom and I used birth control (correctly). I just think I have bad luck, but he's trying to say I'm pregnant for some special reason and that I should keep the baby ?? I am still really confused, and I really don't know what to do :( I really don't want it, I can't have a baby it will destroy my life !!!

*And for all you pro-life people, calling me names and cursing at me is really not going to help

My boyfriend isn't the one who has to carry the baby...

I don't even like children

Answer 1

You can do everything right and still have things happen.

Whether you decide to have an abortion, take the child to term and raise it, take the child to term and put it up for adoption, you should at least have an option.

Answer 2

You have to do what's best for you. Having a baby will drastically change your life. This decision must include you and a child! Are you ready? Can you provide for your child (don't expect your boyfriend to actually be there for you - most men disappear pretty quickly). Will you be able to give your child the love and support they need? Will you regret the things you'll miss out on having a child this early? Having an abortion is NOT A CRIME!!!!! Neglecting a child IS! Raising a child with no father is hard! You can always get pregnant again when you're ready! My husband and I opted not to have children because we know in our hearts that it's not something we'd be good at. I'm 30 now and I know I've made a good decision. Yes, it hurts sometimes, but I'm not going to bring a child into this messed up world unless I know it's the absolute right thing to do. Good luck!

Answer 3

We can't answer this because only God knows the answer. You're 21, so you're not TOO young, at least you're not a teen mom. But it's your choice. Don't do abortion because it's not the baby's fault. You can still have a life even if you have a baby. If seen many people do it (online and sometimes in real life). He has to take care of the kid when it gets here, that's what being responsible is all about. And since you used protection, I'd say that maybe he/she WAS meant to be here. Just get married or something, because it's kinda your fault you chose to give up your virginity before marriage. I read your other questions.

Answer 4

Bottom line, years from now WHEN you do have children and cherish them so much can you look back and see that child saying momma can you come out and play with me. Now use your head honey there are people that will take a child and raise. Who cares now days what has happened just grow up, the pain will last just a short time and the joy will be more than you can imagine, trust me its true!! Note as far as destroying your life your decision if it is not the right one will eat at you like a Cancer for the rest of your life.

Answer 5

You said it. Your boyfriend isn't the one that is going to be pregnant or deliver the baby. You said you don't want it and it will ruin your life. Those are all the reasons you need. Recognizing what you want and that you aren't ready for a baby, is the responsible thing to do. Babies born into a family that isn't prepared, didn't want them or that are resentful are more likely to be neglected or abused.

The boy can also easily deny it is his and walk off, when he changes his mind. Women can't. Also women are usually the primary care giver, not men. Ultimately the responsibility for your life and your babies life, if you have it, will fall on you.

You can always have children later, when they are planned and wanted. Your boyfriend should respect your choice even if he isn't happy with it.

Answer 6

You said 'a baby will destroy my life'.....Having a child is not like having an accident! There's NOTHING more natural than giving birth! How can 'giving life' destroy a life?...Such cliches rule because our society created them, but they're just cliches. Obviously, you should do ONLY what YOU feel like doing...if you don't want the baby, then go for an abortion: a baby should not pay for your mistakes growing up unhappy; yet, it's just sad to see that our society turned the miracle of life into something so negative and 'destructive'.

Answer 7

I know you are scared and you have reason to be. I was in your shoes 5 years ago.

No matter what happens, your life from this moment on has changed and you will never be able to go back to the way it was before you became pregnet. You have 3 options.

Get an abortion- Its dangerous for you and there are alot of psycological problems associated with it. but you wont be pregnet anymore and have no kid.

Give the child up for adoption- after the child is growing in your stomac it will be very hard for you to never see it again. But you get to chose the parents and you know the kid is going to live a happy life

Keep the child and raise it yourself- You will have to get another job, maybe go on welfare. It will be harder for you to go to school and forget about a social life. But you will have your child with you.

No matter what you choose there will be issues with the father. I sugest you sit him down and have a long talk with him and work this out together. You dont have to do this alone.

Answer 8

(Insert all sorts of "You should wait until you're married" crap here, plus any other morals)

Okay. It's your body, your choice. He's not going to be happy if you do abort, but then what else? Adoption? Will he mind that, or does he want to raise the child?

And as for destroying your life, how old are you? If you're still in high school, where people will definatly say just how slutty you are, then think more about an abortion - the fact is, a younger, tormented teen isn't going to raise her child well.

So it comes down to this: Abortion, Adoption, or else turning the child over to the grandparents or something. Honestly, I don't know what else to say.

Answer 9

You can have a baby and give it up for adoption.
Or you could just keep it.
I am however a firm believer in the notion that everything does have it for a reason.
And yes, you have to carry the baby, but it's also his child too and he should have a say in it.
And you don't know that it will ruin your life. It could be the best thing to happen to you.
I am pro-life, but I'm not cursing at you or calling you anything. It is ultimately you AND your boyfriends decision.

Answer 10

your right, your boyfriend doesnt have to carry the baby. but you need to think, the only thing that is going to change about you is your belly. and your boobs will be a little tender. other thaan that you will still be you.
and carrying a baby is a blessing. if you are a religous type person, you know that the bible says that children are a gift from God, to be cherished as such. it also states that the killing of an unborn child, whether by accident ar on purpose (abortion), is murder and is punishable as such under His Law. Abortion will also hurt your body more then having the baby will. many people dont know it, but it is a major operation. it is something that needs to be thought about seriously, not just as Oh I am pregnant, lets get an abortion, but as, Do I really want an abortion. many girls have gotten an abortion and then mourn about it later, knowing that they shouldnt have gotten it.
also, you need to think about this with an open mind. your boyfriend wants this baby, that is obvious. sit down and talk to him. ask him if you have the baby, if he would be willing to atke on all responsability of it. if he is, maybe that should be the way to go. this way, you both get your way: you dont ahve a baby to atke care of, and he gets his child to look after.

after all this is said and down,i ahve one last thing to say. NOONE can tel you what to do in this case. it is up to you and your boyfriend. we can only give you advise. whatever you do, i hope that later on in your life you wont look back on it with regret.

Answer 11

well first of all no birth control or protection is ever 100% effective and so its hard to saw if it was like meant to be or something like he is trying to get u to believe.

It's your body and your baby, you cannot let someone else decide what only you can. Do what you feel is right and in your best interest.

Although an abortion is not an ideal solution, its kind of more of a group of cells than a baby, so dont feel too bad about it if you decide to go that route. I know that sounds kind of harsh but that what i think anyways.

hope you feel better :)