My mom and my aunts and uncles are fighting over inheritance and stuff that happened years ago. The three of them of the four get along good but my mom is sueing them over dumb issues and instigating things. I love my aunts uncles and cousins and want to continue a relationship with them and I don't see why not becasue they are nice to me too. They are acting mature about it all. My uncle invited me to his wedding and my mom got wind of it and is trying to guilt me out of going. Shouldn't that be her dispute with them and I should not be a part of it? I am 29. My Aunts and Uncles treat me like an adult and keep me out of it, mom does not. What should I do?
2007-05-18 09:22:26 · 12 answers · asked by TennesseeGirl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think the best thing to do is this: I would first approach your mom and tell her that while you may not always see eye to eye and that you may disagree with her decision that you love her and respect her choices to do as she sees fit in this situation, however you do not want her decisions to impede your relationships with the rest of your family and that you don't want things to be akward beteween you and her as well as between you and the rest of your family and that you hope that she can respect your choices to continue with your relationships, as you see fit, with your aunts, uncles and cousins as well in return even if she doesn't see eye to eye with your decisions.
Then I would go to the rest of your famly and tell them that you are sorry for the unrest that this current situation has been causing however, you do not share your mother's opinions nor quite understand her standpoint on the situation, but that you love her nonetheless and that you want nothing to change between you and the rest of your extended family because of your mother's choices in the matter.
Hopefully both your mother and your extended family will respect your honesty and appreciate your love and attempts to stay connected with them. I wish you all the best and I have always been of the belief that honesty and a polite approach are always the best policy. Just remember that just because your mother may not understand or agree with your viewpoint of this situation doesn't mean that you both can't love each other and have a happy healthy relationship. You are a full grown adult and are entiled to your own choices and decisions. She has to repsect you and your choices even if she doesn't agree just as you should do the same for her. Good Luck and I wish you the best!!!
2007-05-18 09:36:43 · answer #1 · answered by QueenMoofMoof 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom, no offense, needs to grow up. You have NOTHING to do with their current situation, and she needs to realize that it's just complicating things and making things worse by continuing to push you into guilt trips about seeing your FAMILY. Let your mom know that although she isn't getting along with your aunts and uncles, they're family before they're enemies.
2007-05-18 09:27:31 · answer #2 · answered by Jade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your own question your Mother is the instigator and the one that won't stop. You would only be falling into her mess if you have any part of it. Just tell her you do not even ant to hear about it. A word to the wise if she is acting this way towards her siblings it is hard to say what else she is doing and to whom.
2007-05-18 09:43:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're 29, act like it.
Tell your Mom you love her and you will always be there for her but you also love your family and it is her that has a problem with them, not you. You aren't choosing sides. She needs to trust you and respect you as an adult.
2007-05-18 09:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by wondermom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother, is wrong, money or an inheritance is something that people shouldn't fight about. Money comes and goes, but a family member doesn't, so you should go to that wedding and have fun with your relatives. I f your mom want to die old and alone, with no family, then that is her problem. (Sorry if i am being a little harsh)
2007-05-18 13:15:44 · answer #5 · answered by Xerox 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're right, this is your mom's dispute. You need to tell her to keep you out of it. She may claim you are being disloyal, but don't listen. You have a right to see your family if that is what you want to do. It would be different if they were doing something to her, but it really just sounds like she is being a greedy brat. good luck.
2007-05-18 09:28:44 · answer #6 · answered by NONAME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2017-01-10 07:11:24 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kind of a tough spot to be in, but you are an adult and need to do what you want...Don't let your mom suck you into her world of hate....Just love them all...After all, they are family...Maybe your mom will come around and eventually "get over it" if you stand your ground and be a loving relative to your family...Good luck.
2007-05-18 09:51:35 · answer #8 · answered by mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very nicely but firmly tell your mother that her issues with them are just that - HER issues, and that they're still family and you would still like to have a relationship with them. Promise her that you won't talk about those issues at all while you're there, and assure her that you won't let them talk badly about her either.
2007-05-18 09:25:49 · answer #9 · answered by *huge sigh* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GO TO THAT WEDDING. she needs to run her own life not yours. she sounds like a mean person. don't let that rub off on you.
2007-05-18 09:28:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋