Should I get an abortion?

Question

I'm pregnant and I'm thinking about getting an abortion. I don't know why I'm pregnant I was on birth control and my boyfriend used a condom, I guess I have really bad luck. I really don't know what to do, I can't be pregnant because I am a dancer(ballet), I was also planning on going to medical school, and I don't even like children. My boyfriend wants to keep it but I don't. I don't mean to sound cold, but I don't want to have a baby.


Other Info:
*I'm 21, he is 22
*Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years


Thank you for your help

I honestly could care less about the baby, I don't even like children, it will ruin my chances at md school, and I can't get fat !!!

I CANNOT have a baby, I am a ballet DANCER, it is my JOB, I will get FIRED :(

I don't care what my boyfriend thinks, he's not pregnant !

Any guys telling me to not have an abortion, shouldn't be saying anything, you don't get pregnant !!!

I'm not keeping it

Answer 1

It's your decision. Don't let anyone tell you what you can or can't do. Your body, your mind, so you have the right to do with it whatever you want. There is no one else, BUT YOU, that can tell you what you want to do with your own body.

Not your boyfriend, not the church, not people on this site, not me. ONLY YOU.

I know it's one of the hardest decisions to make, but do some research and make an informed decision. Know that you have more support from people out there than you would expect. :D

And for all you trying to press your anti-abortion belief on others: as long as women are forced to have sex, as long as women are selling sex for money, as long as society views women as the sole caretakers of children, and as long as women have to bear through the pain and intensity of carrying a pregnancy out abortion should be a right for the woman. It is her body and who are you to tell her what to do...you don't even KNOW her. You have no right over her reproductive system because you're not her. It's just like saying "don't cut you hair because hairs are living too! There are so many bald people out there that would love to have hair."

If you ever get an unwanted pregnancy, then you can go ahead and carry it out full term. But as for other people, you have no right telling them what to do. Give them the resources, give them support, and let them decide on their own because they know themselves the best.

Let her make her own decision.

Edit: Since it looks like you've made your decision, and I hope no one has influenced you away from your true feelings, I'd like to direct you to a great support forum. Just post your feelings here and the wonderful women on the site are full of love and support for you...just know that you're not alone. Don't let others judge you. You are your own person. http://passboards.org/

Answer 2

Hi, I've been there and done that. Almost the same situation. I was 19 at the time and been with my boyfriend for 2 years.

I was on birth control and was unlucky like you. I had an abortion. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.

This is the wrong place to ask for guidance because you will get the pro lifers lecturing you telling you how you should have it and its a life and all the stuff that you already know and dont need shoving down your throat at a time like this.

I personally think that if you feel that you want a career it is nearly impossible to have a baby and have a career like you want in the medical profession.

Have you thought of adoption?

Abortion is an emotionally traumatic experience and I know from experience that it can take a long time to recover emotionally from it. No matter how much you know it is the right thing for you.

One thing I DO know is that it is YOUR decision and not your boyfriends. Its YOUR body!

If you have the baby because he tells you to, your relationship will suffer because there WILL be times in the future that you will throw it in your face because you gave up your ballet and your dreams of a medical career to have a baby you didnt want.

Remember: A baby is a baby for 12 months. Then it will be an annoying toddler for 2 years then a school child for 8 years and then a teenager for an eternity (it seems at the time)

Its a life changing decision.

I wish you all the best in the future.

Answer 3

It really depends. There are certain questions u need to ask yourself...Could u cope with a baby at this stage in ur life (financially and emotionally)? Do u want to risk losing ur boyfriend, if he cant handle the fact that you have aborted his baby? Do u think you would regret the abortion in the long run?

Also, have u thought about adoption? U may not feel that u are in the right place in ur life to be having a baby, but there are lots of couples out there who would give anything to be in ur position. If u feel that u cannot handle a baby right now then please think about adoption, at least.

Personally, I am pro-choice when it comes to adoption, and feel that if someone thinks that they cannot care for a baby properly and give it a good home then, perhaps abortion is an option. So if u do eventually choose to abort, don't feel that you're a horrible person, or feel that you are being judged (mostly by the people on here!lol). It has got to be horrible carrying a baby for 9months and then giving it up for adoption, but please just think about it. If u dont want this baby, give someone else the chance to be a parent.

As far as ur boyfriend is concerned, have u ever discussed the possibility of having kids? Do u think it would have a long-term negative effect on ur relationship if u did abort?

Seriously though, I am 21 and currently 8months pregnant. When I found out i was pregnant i was absolutely gutted! I had plans to go travelling, and basically enjoy being 21 like all my mates. But my maternal instincts have since gotten the better of me and now i cant wait to have the baby! U never know, the same might happen to u. Thats just my experience though.

Ok im done ranting on now..hehe.. Just consider all ur options before u make such a big decision. And talk to ur boyfriend...its his baby too remember. Good luck with whatever u decide to do. And don't let other people's views or opinions make u feel bad about whatever u do eventually decide to do.

Best of luck..hope it all works out!! :))

Answer 4

I would encourage you and your boyfriend to really sit down and have a good long chat about the pros and cons of having a child in your lives right now. How far along are you?
I've been in the same position so I completely understand. Much like you and your bf my bf and I took all the neccessary precautions, I was on birth control but it didn't stop anything.
Good lord - some people are really mean with their answers huh?
I mean you could always have the child and put it up for adoption...but I assume that since you are a dancer (you sound pretty dedicated to that) you don't want to carry for 9months. Bottom line: it's your choice to make - no one else!
Don't let the ignorant responses make you feel like you don't have a choice because you do.
I know some hospitals actually have burial grounds for aborted fetus'. When I made my choice I felt comforted knowing that I could go somewhere where there are other people who had made a similar choice and pay my respects to the life that could have been....
Here it comes - lots of people aren't going to like my answer.

Answer 5

There are so many people out there that cannot have children of their own and choose to adopt. Have you thought about keeping the pregnancy and just giving it up for adoption after birth?

There is nothing on earth that could keep you from seeing your dreams through. Baby or not. It might take longer since you'll have the added expense of a baby, but could you live with yourself?

It is your choice. However, if your guy wants to keep the baby but you abort it- it might be the end of your relationship.

As far as you having bad luck, if you used all those methods and you still got pregnant, I would take it as a sign of some sort of higher power or karma. It doesn't mean you are a bad person or have bad luck- infact I think just the opposite. Again, I go back to all those people that cannot conceive children on their own.

Best of luck to you and whatever you decide.

Answer 6

If you are an educated person, you must have known what sex could possibly lead to and you must have accepted the possibility you could become pregnant. You must also already understand that all the birth control methods in the world you and he could use won't stop you from becoming pregnant because the only 100% proof method is abstinence. You and he rolled the dice and you turned up pregnant. You have two options: you either abort (I don't think that is the best choice for you) or you continue on with the pregnancy. If you continue on with the pregnancy, you get two choices: you either keep the baby or you put it up for adoption. (There are PLENTY of adults out there that would love to adopt your child.) You can still go to medical school, just continue on with the pregnancy and when you give birth, give the child to your boyfriend or put the child up for adoption.)

Answer 7

hunny CALM down. this is something you need to really think about. take a breath and listen. thank god your mom didnt have an abortion or you wouldnt be here today. instead of that immoral decision what about adoption. there are SO many people in this country who cannot have children and WOULD LOVE to adopt. the process is long, but in the end you are doing whats best for your child. its not a happy time, its going to be hard. but stop thinking about yourself and think of that innocent life who did absolutly nothing wrong. why do you want to punish him/her? i know your dancing will be off for a little, but take the time to relax, you are still young, you will bounce back to the body you had before, just with a little work. dont be so self-centered. prove yourself wrong. you are a strong girl and you can do this. think of how you'd feel AFTER you walk out of the abortion room. something that you felt so passionate about (whether it be positive or negitive) is NEVER coming back. you may feel sad, many people fall into a depression! get some help, keep the baby. you can do it.....

Answer 8

Star, whoa---I think you answered your own question...having a child is not like adopting a pet or babysitting...

Funny, today I was discussing having children, and the huge sacrifices we have to do in order to keep it straight...selfish you can not be...and it sounds to me that you are extremely selfish, to be a good mother you just give up almost everything...your freedom, your time, your feelings. You have to be ready to do so, and it sounds like you should never as far as it sounds --- never have children.

Guess what, that is okay-okay not to want children. Its a life changing move. Your boyfriend, nice and all, really has nothing to do with that decision, he will probably bail out a year or so after having the baby anyway... who needs another single mom running around, specially one that don't care for a child anyway...GO GET AN ABORTION, do it now before its too late, before your body goes to hell, you know how important that is to you.

Please Star--do this world a favor and get your tubes "CUT OFF" and stop lying we know you did not protect yourself...if you are going to F----, be smart about it...no judgement here, just the honest truth. It's okay to make a mistake, its not okay for you to kill a person for it.

Answer 9

NO. It's murder. It will haunt you the rest of your life. If you felt you were grown enough to have sex you are grown enough to accept the fact that there is a life inside of you. Take responsibility for your actions. Just because you have a child doesn't mean that you can't achieve your life dreams. You want to go to medical school??? Isn't being a doctor or whatever your planning to be about helping others. There's nothing harder then being a mother but there's nothing more special then being a mother either. There's always adoption. Don't kill the baby. It' s not right.

Answer 10

Nobody but you and your boyfriend can answer this question. You need to talk to our boyfriend about this and the two of you need to decide what you are going to do. An abortion could be the right answer for you at this time, but you could always give the baby up for adoption (although that is much harder than anything else you will ever do for the rest of your life) Or maybe if your boyfriend really wants the baby you could have it and sign custody over to him and let him raise it. But again this is something that you have to decide, nobody here can give you the answer to this question. It's your life.

Answer 11

well, I'm sure you will make up your mind on your own....but just remember that it wasn't baby's fault you got pregnant. There is a little person growing inside you with a beating heart. Abortions are gruesome procedures that legally murder innocents people. Even criminals have the right to a humane death....unborn babies are torn limb from limb just because they aren't wanted. I'm sorry to be so graphic....it's not like me to lecture people on this site. But you do have the option of adoption, and being pregnant for 9 months isn't going to change the course of your life if you don't want it to. Plus, it's not fair to the father not to have the right to a child he wants. If you choose abortion you may be able to deal with it, but he will have to live with the reality that his child was murdered and there was nothing he could about it. Please put some serious thought to this.