Me and my boyfriend are really positive we are going to be together he already talked to my parents about us being together and they said yes. We want to wait until we get married but he really wants a kid and i want, want too. I know he wont leave me alone because he has proved himself a lot of times to me and my paretns. So what should i do?
2007-05-18 07:53:17 · 51 answers · asked by cely 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I'm 16 years old and we have been going out for 2 years already.
2007-05-18 08:01:13 · update #1
What do you consider an early age?
EDIT~Sixteen is too young. You have no clue what life is like with a child.
2007-05-18 07:55:57 · answer #1 · answered by ~~∞§arah T∞©~~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even if you're 30 you still have no idea what life with a baby is like until you have one.
Waiting doesn't ensure anything, except that you are older.
Older doesn't necessarily mean wiser.
Financial stability comes to different people at different ages.
Being a parent is hard, it changes everything you though you knew about yourself, your man and the world. Suddenly you are responsible for another human being and that responsibility can make you fiercely protective of the silliest things. My husband and I were 18 when we got married (we had been together for 4 years) and our 1st baby was born when we were 18 also. I am glad we got the official marriage document, because that piec eof paper held us together for those first few very difficult years. We have been married for almost 14 years now and we're very happy. We are expecting our 6th child and are financially stable.
Having kids doesn't hold you back in life unless you let it.
The whole world might believe it's a handicap but it isn't, children are a blessing. Keep life simple, remember the important things (relationships and love) and if you know what you want in life, get it.
Humans are the only species of animal that waits until it's been fertile for 10-20 years before reproducing. I believe a lot of the problems women have in pregnancy and birth are just because they're too darned old. Kids take a lot of energy and you've got it.
Your young body is strong and you're not "set in your ways" and strapped down with debt like a lot of 30somethings.
Pregnancy lasts 9 long months, plenty of time to MAKE your life situation into one that would welcome a child.
If you want to be a wife and mother and he wants to be a husband and father, start by finishing your education (which might happen faster by taking community college classes at the same time as high school- or by switching to an independent study program where you can work through the credits faster.
Begin thinking seriously about the things you enjoy, the places you enjoy being, to find clues about what career path might be best for you both. Map out a plan, and don't stray from it.
You might want to volunteer in your church nursery or find other ways to babysit and be around babies and children before you decide. Don't make a decision until you have all of the facts and have thought of all the possibilities.
Best of luck.
2007-05-24 20:28:45 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It absolutely pisses me off when people say when you're that young that it's cruel to the baby. Well I was 16 when I had my daughter and she's a normal, happy, and healthy 3 year old now. I also hate people who use the "marital" status against you. Apparently they haven't noticed the divorce rates in recent years. I am in a totally commited relationship and don't feel the need to validate that with a slip of paper. Only you can decide if you're ready to have a baby. Is there anyone around you who has a newborn? Spend as much time as possible with the babies...not just the "admiring" part where you give the baby back as soon as it's wet, hungry, or fussy. I would say though that if you did intend to go to college I would wait. It will be much more difficult to achieve if you have a child. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it. Because it is possible. Though you are a bit young to actually be planning a pregnancy. It will be hard...but it's hard for ANY new mother
2007-05-22 16:45:16 · answer #3 · answered by Arcangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's an old saying, "anyone can be a father, but it takes a man to be a dad." You think you will be together forever, Doesn't everyone who is in love think that? So you have a child out of wedlock, is it going to make things even better? NO, It's going to put a lot of stress on your relationship and if you are not married, he can walk any old time he wants, but you are left with bringing up a child alone. He may see the child on weekends. Don't be foolish, wait, give yourself more time. Do some research on women who have had children out of wedlock and see the statistics, They're not very good. He may have proved himself to you and your parents, but lets see how he does when the baby cries all hours of the night for feedings and makes you get up while he stays in bed. Please give it more thought.
2007-05-18 08:08:14 · answer #4 · answered by Memere RN/BA 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, 16 is way too young. Where will you live? How will you support a baby? Are you thinking of relying on your parents? Even if they're willing, is that really fair?
If you want a baby now, you'll still want one later - after you're married, have any education you might want and have had the chance to finish growing to adulthood. There are a lot of things you can't go back in life and do over, and one of those things is being a teenager. Also, why have an illegitimate baby? Wait until you're married and spare your baby all of that. There are a lot of single moms out there who never imagined that the man they were sleeping with wouldn't stick around to raise a baby. You cannot possibly be completely prepared mentally, physically or emotionally for having a baby at 16. To be totally responsible for a completely helpless life can be overwhelming at any age, for that matter. Trust me, I know 2 girls personally who are in high school and have babies. They are overwhelmed. They live with their mom and their boyfriends have moved in as well. Their friends still get to go hang out and do stuff most teenagers do - but not the new mommies. My worry is that they'll start to resent their babies.
I love my kids. I would walk through fire for them. I would lay down my life for them. BUT.......... I am 39. I live with my husband in a house we bought with the money we earned from our jobs. He has a steady, stable job. I recently quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom. In order to do so, we had to sacrifice a lot. This was fine with us because we were 30 when we got married and we'd both gotten the single life out of our systems by then.
Please be a kid a while longer, hon! You can never go back!!! All stages of life are worth living to their fullest. If you rush to get to the next stage, you'll miss all the happiness of the stage you're in now!!!
2007-05-18 08:57:04 · answer #5 · answered by pookiemct07 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should wait a while. From what I seen my cousins all got married young. Around your age. Well things didn't go as they planned. And now that they are older they want to go out and be single again. But they can't cause they have kids to tend to. So wait a while things sometimes don't go as planned. Have you graduated high school yet? How are you plannning to support yout kids if you come out pregnant? Having a baby is very expensive. Wait don't rush things. I seen people that rush into things that a year later living together they can't stand each other. I am not saying thats gonna happen to you. But it could things change and you have to be prepared.
Are you ready to financially support a baby? Have money to buy diapers,formula,clothes,carseat,stroller,crib,matress,and more formula. The guy could easily change his mind and you be stuck raising the baby alone. Please take your time don't rush you miss out on alot.
2007-05-25 06:43:53 · answer #6 · answered by latina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until you are married. A while after you are married.
Even though you know you will be together, enjoy your time together. Life being married is so much better than just being in a relashonship.
Plus the fact that it is morally right.
16!!! Graduate. Have another boyfriend. You don't KNOW that you will be together forever. You want to make a mature, life long decision when you haven't even barley lived yet.
My sister was 16 when she had her baby. Life isn't easy when you are 16 and trying to raise a baby, for you or your families.
2007-05-18 07:59:05 · answer #7 · answered by beebow 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
So...your parents what...guaranteed that you'd be together forever?
Look. Stop. Copy and paste this quote into your journal then look back at it in 5 years and shake your head because you can't BELIEVE you thought that you'd be with this guy forever and that you should actually have a KID with him.
What is your life lacking that you feel a child would fill.
Why not do this: finish high school. Get an education or learn a trade. Develop a career. Establish and nuture same sex friendships. Travel. Go to concerts. Get a dog from a shelter. In short: LIVE.
Then settle down. If mr. Awesome is still in the picture, well, good. Think of the life of experience and LIVING that you'll have in common and have to share with your offspring.
But for now, slow down and enjoy being young.
Best-
DN
2007-05-18 07:58:57 · answer #8 · answered by Dalice Nelson 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Finish High School, Get a Career, Get Married, Have a Baby.
As much as you want a baby now, it is about being able to provide for a child. You both may be happy now but adding a baby will change your life. You will be stressed by parenting and to add financial issues, lack of education, and immaturity on top of that it would be very trying. It really has nothing to do with him "staying around" as much as it does that you are still too young to raise a child.
2007-05-26 02:31:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait on having kids.I did not get married until I was 27 years old. Even at that point we had kids and we took turns going to college. Let me tell you it is not an easy task. With kids comes formula,diapers,doctors visits,early trips to the hospital emergency room.It is also expensive raising kids.You are young and barely flourishing as a young lady.Sit back and enjoy each others company.Also finish your education and become successful.Many times relationships go bad and the kids suffer due to no money in household. I just got divorced and me and my wife are on mutual terms. We both have degrees and good jobs.Could you imagine if we didn't have our education ? Our kids would have suffered. Stay positive and focused.And remember ,the more you learn the more you earn. Good luck,Sunshine.
2007-05-23 15:36:25 · answer #10 · answered by sergio d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would wait. I got married at 16 and then 2 weeks later, I got pregnant. I had my twin boys at 17, and I am about to be 18 and I love my kids to pieces, but it is hard. I am a very mature person, but it's hard to handle kids. Plus you need to get a sercure home before bringing kids in the world. Also you have to think about money, respondiblity, how your body will take pregnancy, how he will take pregnancy. Who will work? Who will raise the child? You need a family car. Having a baby is expensive, I have two babies and it is hard, We live pay check to pay check. Also your not old enough to have things put in your name. You need a job so when you turn 18 your credit will be good and you can get anything you may need. I say wait til 18.
2007-05-18 08:32:47 · answer #11 · answered by twistedone691821 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋