Is it widely known that having more children is linked to lower marital satisfaction?

Question

Twenge, J. M., Campbell, W. K., & Foster, C. A. (2003). Parenthood and marital satisfaction: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 65, 574-583.

Abstract: This meta-analysis finds that parents report lower marital satisfaction compared to nonparents (d = -.19, r = -.10). There is also a significant negative correlation between marital satisfaction and number of children (d = -.13, r = -.06). The difference in marital satisfaction is most pronounced among mothers of infants (38% of mothers of infants have high marital satisfaction, compared to 62% of childless women). For men, the effect remains similar across ages of children. The effect of parenthood on marital satisfaction is more negative among high socioeconomic groups, younger birth cohorts, and in more recent years. The data suggest that marital satisfaction decreases after the birth of a child due to role conflicts and restriction of freedom.

Good to know many of you are curious about how the data were collected. So you're thinking back to your research methods classes in college, eh?

FYI, a "meta-analysis" aggregates the results of every study the researchers could find. The studies were probably done primarily in North America, but combines the results of many, many studies. In other words, it is as close the "final word" on the link between children and marital satisfaction as you can get.

Answer 1

The correlation they found is far from r = -1, meaning that other factors are way more important than having (more) children. Also, averages don't apply to individuals... in some people their marriage might get way better the more kids they have, in others the opposite.

The data aren't that surprising though... high socioeconomic groups, younger birth cohorts and people in more recent years have relatively been spoiled, believing they can have it all and do it all and that just isn't true, which causes more role conflicts in them and a larger restriction of freedom. Another thing is that those groups might have less support from their family and such because they're more likely to live far from their parents etc.

I'll admit that I've looked at my husband with a more critical eye since I've gotten pregnant though... suddenly he's the person that's going to have to be a good role model for raising our kids and he has to get a job to bring in money, which is just a more important role than just being my spouse. I don't think my marital satisfaction has gone down yet, but our baby won't be born until August.

Not sure what the point of mentioning this study is anyway... if people don't have kids then there won't be any people to take care of you when you're 80yo... so kids are a necessary "evil" if you want.

Answer 2

Not only have I been saying this my entire life but I have witnessed it in my own life as well as many of my friends life. If you marry the wrong person, having a child will tear that marriage apart. If you marry the right person, having a child brings you closer together. I have seen it time and time again. You can tell who the people are that TRULY love each other and have a family, they are closer than most married people. We live in a society now where it is too easy to marry on a whim and too easy to divorce because you don't agree on something.

Waiting for that special someone, marrying them (and you know it when you are with them) and having children with them only makes life better. You lose some things, like your sanity (only kidding) but you gain so much more. Yeah the sex becomes almost non existant, yeah there are new stresses, but you also gain a respect and an understanding of one another in a way that you never knew you could.

Answer 3

Think about it, discuss it thoroughly and negotiate roles and responsibilities well before having children and most of the reported problems go away. People don't get married or get mortgages without a lot of discussion and research, entering into parenthood should warrant the same planning. Hubby and I did all the talking and negotiating about children even before we got married.

Been married for 16 years, 5 children aged from 15 to 4 years and have a vibrant marriage both emotionally and physically.

Answer 4

Scientific data can be skewed to make anything seem possible. In all reality if you talk to people on your own in the real world they will tell you that children have enhanced their lives, not the other way around. I have 2 children and I am very happy in my marriage. My kids have done nothing but enhance our relationship and love, not deter it. Sure, some things change when the first baby is born, and more so the second. But if you marry someone who you truly love then those changes are a good thing, and come with a lot of satisfaction and happiness.

Answer 5

I haven't found that. I think it depends on the relationship. We don't have "role conflicts" or feel that our freedom is restricted. Of course there's a bit of time after having a baby that isn't quite as, erm, involved, due to the body recovering and then the sleepless night thing, but once that's over it was normal service, if you get my meaning! If anything, our relationship is stronger now than before kids as we see new sides to each other all the time which strengthens the feelings we have towards each other. That has lead to a better experience physically and mentally for us.

Answer 6

I would not say it is widely known. That said, this is really interesting. I appreciate you posting it. At a glance, it seems to make sense. That said, I wonder what number of people were polled? There is a tendency for studies like this to oversimplify the problem, or base their decisions on too small a sample. Not saying that is the case. I just wonder about it when I see something throwing numbers around like this. Ultimately, the statistics don't matter as much as the individuals.

Answer 7

"The effect of parenthood on marital satisfaction is more negative among high socioeconomic groups, younger birth cohorts, and in more recent years. "

Well there's your answer. I don't know anyone for whom this is true, and our family is full of large groups. We have seven kids ourselves, and our marriage is just as wonderful as ever. However, we don't focus on money (high socioeconomic group), ourselves (younger birth cohorts), and we don't fall into the schemes of modern society that self and money are more important than family (recent years)

Answer 8

it also depends on if you are religious and don't use birth control and are popping out unwanted kids because you have a healthy sex life. you need to make a compromise. I know people that have lots of kids not because they want to but because they refuse to use any form of birth control. these people are in love and love there children, but it is really hard on them having so many kids. I want a couple kids, and after that I am getting a visectomy or something. In other words I want to have my "pie" and eat it too.

Answer 9

we have 6 kids and it does put a big strain on the marraige. It was a little easier when we just had one and then it just gets worse from there. we have 4 teenagers and they say children are miracles but......... oh well I hope you get what I'm saying. you know I just thought about something, its kinda like friendships too. when you have one or two friends its great but then if you have 7 or 8 friends things get busy and more complicated and all of them become lesser important.

Answer 10

I think it is possible it the parents are not ready and don't really know how to deal with martial/family issues - it is all in the people and how they think/deal/handle situations! But over all it you think of it like what they are saying it is likely to happen that way - but if you think of it positivly it will be more positivity