How do you encourage someone who has not only just been diagnosed with aggressive cancer, but who has been told she can only hope to add a few years to her life... but not be completely cured of the cancer?
I plan to be there for her and encourage her as much as possible, but I just want to know what things either help you or helped you to keep going... what was something that helped you through the chemo and many doctor visits... ?
I know I am selfish in that I want her to be around as long as possible, as she is my friend.
2007-05-18 06:02:03 · 6 answers · asked by scruffycat 7 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Cancer
You can encourage her by telling her that the doctors said the same thing to a girl in 1998 that had a very aggressive cancer that was given less than 2 months without treatment and up to 5 years with treatment and when she had a reoccurance was given less than a month with 0%.....the reoccurance was in 2000.
It was a very tough time going through all of the treatment, but I kept a positive attitude throughout it all. I do have a lot of faith as well. I prayed that God would help me through it and I would go into remission no matter what the doctors said....and I did.
You're a good friend to be supporting her through this. Most all of my friends left during this time because they didn't know what to say or how to deal with it. Just keep encouraging her to fight and that she can beat it. My mom was the one to help me. She constantly encouraged me to keep fighting even when the times were tough. When the doctors told me I had less than a month with 0% chance, I told them that I was going to get a miracle and I did! I will say a prayer for your friend that she will get one too!
2007-05-21 03:06:20 · answer #1 · answered by juliepasson622 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your friend...but i am happy that she has a friend like you.
Sometimes, it is hard to know just what to do to make a friend happy. Something that is true for some may not work for others. In your case, simply being there for your friend is a big thing. You know her better that anyone in here so you are best qualified to know what can encourage her more to keep going and keep fighting. You can ask her if she wants you to be around during her therapy and doctor visits. Sometimes(most of the time actually), people who are ill tends to be pretty cranky so you'll have to put up with that...but, if you feel the person needs a little scolding or"spanking", then do so...What i mean here is,just be the friend that you've always been to her.
And another thing, you are not selfish for wanting her to be around for a long time...that is normal between friends.
God bless you and God bless your friend too.
2007-05-19 10:57:14 · answer #2 · answered by april8 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My best friend since childhood has malt lymphoma cancer of the stomach lining. Her cancer is not curable either, but it is treatable. She went through radiation and chemo and the cancer has not progressed, which is great news.
We have a very open dialog, and I asked her what I could do. She said that the most important thing for her was to be able to talk about it. We talked about it as much as she wanted to...about everything, good, bad, the future, kids, everything imaginable.
Your friend is going to go through some rough times, obviously, and your being there is the best thing for her. Hold her hand, cry with her if you must, be her greatest fan. Go with her to her treatments and doctor visits, if possible. Help her around the house or with the kids if she has them. Making sure that she eats is another great help, bring her food or cook for her if you can.
I'm so sorry for you and your friend. God bless.
2007-05-18 13:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by leslie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your friend.
How is her attitude? Please, let her know that there are people out there thinking of her and praying for her!
You are not selfish for wanting her around! No way!! I very much wanted my mum to live, and my aunt, and other's that have passed on from that horrible disease.
I had breast cancer 2x, in 02 and 03 at the ages of 30&31. I thought it was the end, but you know what? It wasn't.
I felt bad, physcially and emotionally, but that is normal.
You have to get on with life, and live to the best of your abilitly.
Just be there for her, and let her know you would like to help her in anyway.Be it cooking for her, getting her a special treat, renting movies, a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with.
I liked getting cards, not only the ones that were very supportive about getting well, but I also like the ones that just made me laugh.!
Take care
GB
2007-05-18 13:48:37 · answer #4 · answered by riverstarr 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not selfish. Helping your friend is noble. Bless you.
I'd suggest asking your friend what she wants. If it's possible for you to provide it, do.
When I was fighting cancer, my wife basically took care of everything else so I could concentrate on my fight. And my best friend helped me by being the guy who would willingly listen to whatever I wanted to tell him about my fight. In other words, he heard about all the gross stuff. LOL
Generally, whatever the patient wants, the patient gets. Even if she wants you to leave her alone, you leave her alone (although you probably keep close tabs on her with her family, and you let her know every couple days or something that you want to be there for her.
Maybe tell her to stay alive as long as possible for her family's sake.
2007-05-18 17:35:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry about this. All you can do is show her that you care and be there for her. She is going to have to change her mental attitude, there is not much more you can do for her. The person has to help herself, or you can not do it for them unfortunately. Just show her that you love her, and be there for her.
2007-05-18 13:06:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋