How to deal with life without a mom?

Question

How does one get the Love of a mom that was here for a short bit and lost the next, All I have now are figments of her love. Instead of Love that should of flourished within me, now I build my hatred my anger, and the ugliness of being human, aka a bad boy persona! Is this caused by not having a mother? Am I doomed, to live with this anger and repressed way of living?

Answer 1

Even folks who have moms in their lives regularly, they do not have the perfect life.

You can choose to turn your bad boy persona into something else. Easier said than done, I realize.

Stop to smell the roses as they say. Listen to healthy outdoor sounds and uplifting music.

To stop teens from hanging around store parking lots, some stores have tried playing classical (symphony) music. What happened instead of the teens dispersing, the teens found themselves surprisingly relaxing, hearing the classical music. They were changed individuals, now having an outlet for stress--classical music, usually found on NPR or National Public Radio stations in your area.

Do you live near a lake, gorge or mountain area? You can just purge or vent your anger, let it go, in that area that is so much bigger than you.

You are not doomed. You are way ahead of others in your shoes, because you acknowledge your issue and seem to want to change

Unless somebody has successfully walked out of those shoes you are in, it will be a rare bird who can answer that question.

When friends and family are not enough, seek professional counsel. There's no shame in that.

Find a cognitive therapist. That is a person who gives you a new way to think. How cool is that?!

What would be a shame is knowing there is a legit road to happiness and that road isn't ventured.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Only if you want to be. Mothers are important but all of use lose them sooner or later and have to move forward with our lives. The choices you make, the way you react and respond to things - those are all your choices - you can be an optimist and look for the good or be negative and full of bitterness because you feel cheated.

Life is unfair - every one has been hurt in some form or another. Carrying that bitterness and anger around with you does absolutely nothing except slowly poison YOU. No one else will be affected by it.

You may want to find someone you trust to talk to about all the feelings you have inside. The anger and bitterness loses its power over us if we deal with it.

Make your mother proud and CHOOSE to live a happy life.

Answer 3

You are a soul that needs LOVE, I am a mother and I love you even if I don't know you because God is telling us to love each other!
Don't build the bad in you, pray and try to act like a real HUMAN BEING; the society we live in it's not a good one there are a lot of bad people around us but praying ant reading the WORD we can make a difference, we can try to be like our Lord that gave His life for us!

Answer 4

I am so very sorry that you lost your Mother, however if you really loved her why not turnthat love into a positive? Try looking at life thru how she would have liked you to be. Successfull and happy. When bad things happen to us we always have 2 options making it a positive or a negative. I think you have choosen the negative. You are the only person that has the ability to change that.

Answer 5

Losing your mother is definitely a life-changing event. Some kids feel angry for it, confused, and blame themselves. You should seek out professional counseling to deal with the feelings you're having. You don't want to let it go unchecked or you could end up with pent up anger that results in bad behavior. I'd hate to see you unable to love a woman the way she deserves because of this one event. I'm sure you want to go on to a happy life with a wonderful, loving person. The only way to do that is to deal with your issues now.

Answer 6

Dude, if your memories are of a loving mother then where does your negativity come from? Are you somehow thinking that she chose to leave you? Is the way you are reacting something she would be proud of? My guess is that you are an adolescent or younger and are confused -- very understandable. Don't be so hard on yourself or your mother, she did not want to leave. Find someone who will listen to you more than talk to you. My heart goes out to you.

Answer 7

You are doomed to live whatever life you choose too. It's your choice and not having a mother wont' make any matter. In fact, many children are better off without a mother as fathers are better at child rearing. Sorry for your loss, but what happens to your life is your choice. Don't make excuses and blame others for your choices in life.

Answer 8

I lost my mom when I was 19. My sister was only 15 and my brother was only 10 . They were in the home when she died. (genetic heart defect at the age of 45) It was traumatizing for them to see their mother wheeled out of the house in a body bag but they arent full of hate and anger and neither am I. We remember that love of a mother we all had and remember what kind of live she taught us while we had her here.
What kind of person did you mother want you to be? Honor her by being that person.

Answer 9

having a best friend you can tell everything to. Someone you trust that can take your mom off the subject and get you to live your life without a mom but know she loves you soooooo much and is watching your every step toward being a wonderful person you are!!

Answer 10

it is not the end of life ok. im sure it very2 hard to be live without a mom but this is life isn it? sometimes things happen not as we planned,but you must go on with your life. be depressed or make some trouble will not help you to get a new mom, so go on ur life. everyone have their sad part of living, but there never lose hope and try very hard to get through it, so same with you, try ur hard and never loss hope.