We've been together 5+ years. Long story she was away for a year and a half in europe. Came we got back together. Stable relationship we have a 3 year old together. We recently been talking marriage and i want to. When we first met she said she had been with 7 dudes. About 8 months ago she revelead there were really 16 or 18 fellows. I'm tried looking past it but it lingers in my head every now and then. I dont know what to do. Any suggestions. I'm no angel i've been with 6 other females. I dont want to tell her its bothering me.
2007-05-18 04:51:20 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The reason it bothers you is because you're a man and you don't want the visual in your head. She's the mother of your child and the woman you're in love with and with that comes this idea that she's pure and innocent.
Change your perspective: None of these men made it to the length you have. She obviously wants to be with you, wants to marry you and wants her past to stay in the past. Leave it there and forget about it. She's yours for the taking. Don't be stupid, take!
2007-05-18 04:55:53 · answer #1 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She was with these guys when she wasn't in a relationship from how you put it in your question. The only time you should have lingering thought about other guys being with her is if she did it when you were dating or together. Either way yall need to talk about this and maybe you should let her know about the six girls you had been with if it will ease your mind. If you can't get past the past then you need to let her go and find a virgin so your mind will be at ease.
2007-05-18 05:09:14 · answer #2 · answered by waltdawg3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has chosen to be with you, and you have chosen to be with her. Neither of you have any plans to "explore" any further with other people; therefore, assuming you have both been tested & cleard for any STD's, forget about it.
The only question you may have is asking her why the number changed - did she know about your 6 and feel that telling you 7 would be "in the ballpark" because she worried that telling you 16-18 would be too much for you and she didn't want to lose you?? If so, then feel flattered that she is confident enough in your feelings for her to tell you this without you "going away."
Good luck!
2007-05-18 04:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by Adam G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Buddy I dont mean to be rude but you have to get over it. Look on the bright side you have more to offer than the other 16-18 guys shes been with. My wife and I went through the same problem and unless you except the fact that she is choosing you over them then your going to have a rought time of it. Good Luck.
2007-05-18 05:08:32 · answer #4 · answered by Rod 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.. Atleat she was honest with you! I know its going to be hard.. I mean with my husband I was with 1 before him and I think im number 8 for him.. so it wsa hard for me to accept that but, either you let it bother you and if you end up with someone else their numbers could be alot higher? Just try to get over it and think thats their past and they didnt know you then so there was nothing you could have done about that! Dont worry about it soo much.. you've been with her for 5 years and counting.. so your the last and the only one she will always remember! :D
2007-05-18 04:55:45 · answer #5 · answered by 04/12/2008 :) 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is past is past; bury it. You cannot put toothpaste back in a tube or make water flow back upstream. Life is a learning experience, sort of like a book. Chapter after chapter. If you are who she met in chapter seven then the ones in previous chapters are past history; as are your previous chapters. I once dated a girl who was a democrat but I don't consider myself scarred for life.
2007-05-18 05:02:53 · answer #6 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as she's not seeing any of them now and only has eyes for you, then it shouldn't be too bad. Past is past. No one can see their future or what will be a mistake until it happens.
2007-05-18 04:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get over it. She's with you now and doesn't want the men from her past. She had your child and loves you now. The best people to be with are those who have experienced life and made mistakes.
2007-05-18 04:56:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be honest, and realize that the past is the past. If you really love her and want to be with her for the rest of your life, then you will be her last, and think of it that way....I honestly believe you should tell her YOUR past as well...that's only fair!
2007-05-18 04:56:42 · answer #9 · answered by Happy in love! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is only bothering you because she had more sex partners then you. it was okay when she said seven, making you number seven, but now it is a problem because youre number 17. her past is just that, the past, unless she has added more men to her list of sexual partners. BD
2007-05-18 04:56:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋