Wedding in 3 years?????

Question

My bf and I went on a family vacation last week. All of his family was invited. WeI've been dating for 1 year and 10 months now, and have been entretaining the idea of marriage and talking around the subject for a while. It has been implied that we're going to get married someday and even his father called me "Mrs. P" during the vacation, but still no "official" word from him. His family kinda spilled the beans on his "plans" for us a few times, but still he keeps mum about it.

Finally, after a lot of talking around the subject, he told me that he wanted to "settle" in 3 years and that if I agreed, I said yes, and he said: well, then we have to start planning from now to make it possible.

HMMM.... what is that supposed to mean? I'm sure that it's not a marriage proposal, but rather an advisory? We're both adults (27 and 33) and financillay stable. We do not live together. I'm happy but confused. What do you think?

Answer 1

seems like he's thinking about it, but not quite ready. You've only been dating for a little less than 2 years. I would give him a little bit more time. It seems like he's confided in his family, which is fine. But is not ready to make it official. That's fine too. He probably just isn't ready for all the craziness that's associated with an engagement and such. Since you've talked about it from time to time, I'm assuming you have pretty good communication and I won't worry about it.

Just sit back and enjoy your relationship, don't rush him or start picking out china patterns. Let thinks come naturally. Three years is quite some time away and a lot can happen.

Just sit back and wait for the ring, that's all you can do.

I also believe that a man can told love a women, but just not be ready to marry her. Some people are old fashioned and believe that just b/c you've dated for 2 years, doesn't mean you should be rushing down the aisle. You maybe financial stable, but there are still very many aspects of combined two lives that take time. Maybe he's paying off some student loans, getting rid of some debts. One can be financial stable and still have those items. Perhaps, he's saving for a down payment on a house and wants to make it a surprise or saving so you can have the wedding of your dreams.

By starting to plan now, I think he wants to being discussing your future together. For example, were would you like to live, what kind of a home, when to buy it. I don't think he meant start planning a wedding, but more gearing yourself for an engagement.

Answer 2

How much do you love this guy? If you love him enough to want to marry him, tell him that you didn't like his choice of word "settle." That sounds as if he doesn't love you, but will "settle" for you if he can't find someone else in the next 3 years! Ask him exactly what he meant by that. Yes, you should be confused. If he meant he wants to marry in 3 years, ask for an engagement ring to prove his intentions. If you don't get it, move on. Also, at your age, waiting three more years just means you will be 30 and he will be 36. It's safer to have children younger, you know Having a first baby after 30 increases your risk of breast cancer, etc. Tell him you will split the difference and expect to marry in 18 months.

Answer 3

a million) How did the two one among you meet? Myspace 2) How long did you date earlier you have been married? dated for 10 as quickly as we've been given engaged and married 17 month later. 3) How could you describe your verbal replace? stable 4) How has your social existence replaced? We do greater issues purely the two one human beings extremely than going out with a super variety of frineds. Nights out on the bar have decrease back. 5) What’s the toughest area of cohabitation? dealing along with his pastime (militia) 6) What are your long-term aims to your relationship? to stay in love and chuffed, enhance a relatives, holiday. 7) What’s the biggest difference between relationship somebody and being married to somebody? i could say we don't attempt to electrify one yet another, do no longer gown up as lots, etc. 8) How did you verify on the residing preparations of being a married couple? I moved into his apartment domicile as quickly as we've been given engaged. 9) How do you verify economic subject concerns? If we've the money we do it, if we don't have the money we don't. we attempt to no longer use credit enjoying cards. I pay all the charges. 10) have you ever reported deal breakers? we compromise. eleven) What’s the better area of being married? having a relentless help 12) Describe the branch of hard artwork? 13) What do you think of is the main crucial area of keeping a chuffed, healthful marriage? verbal replace 14) What’s the biggest ingredient you’ve had to evolve to on account that turning out to be a newly wed? we had already lived jointly for a pair of year and a a million/2 so there wasnt a super adjustment. 15) Do you think of two times approximately making very own purchases now which you’re married? definite. sixteen) Has your intercourse existence replaced on account which you’ve been married? no 17) Are the pressures heavier to be a physically powerful spouse than a physically powerful lady pal? no 18) At what factor do you communicate your spouses opinion over your man or woman in a controversy? the start 19) in case you have an pastime, have you ever reported having infants? definite, we plan to start attempting in a pair of year. 20) What little issues does your husband do to make you smile? kiss my forhead

Answer 4

I think he's hoping you'll change your mind in that time.

If you were teenagers, I'd agree with waiting - but you're adults and established etc. That's another matter.

Bottom line: He's not ready for this or you'd already be booking the church.

At least that's what he "hasn't been saying" for over a year.

Back off - even stop seeing him. Tell him you've obviously made him uncomfortable with this marriage idea - his proposal showed you that - and perhaps you should cool the relationship.

You're in luck tho - you have your own place and are an independent woman.

Don't let him think that he "gave in to your demands for marriage." Otherwise he will throw that in your face every time you have a disagreement. Cool your jets and let him decide that a life with you by his side is ever so much better than one without you.

Answer 5

I think he's confused. You need to have an intimate dinner at your house or his with just the two of you and converse (that is most important anyway in any relationship let alone a marriage). Talk it out and ask him to explain where he is coming from. You may agree with him or you may want to interject that you're concerned about his timeline. Perhaps there is something at his job he is unsure of whether or not it will change in the next 3 years. COMMUNICATE with each other and not in front of families.

Answer 6

I think you can plan little things with him but don't do anything more until he makes that official. Don't be afraid to tell him what you want too. If he wants 3 years, then ask him "And are we going to at least get engaged during that time? Or is this 3 years until you're ready to even do that?" so you know what's going on. You don't want to spend the next 3 years waiting and then having him make up excuses all the time, right?
I gave my BF 2 years to either decide if he's gonna love me forever or move on to someone else. (He always talks marriage) We're hitting one year on Tuesday so I know he's thinking this next year is time to get serious. I think it's ok to give them a push. Their men...they'll sit around and fart the next 10 years away if no one objects!

Answer 7

It sounds like his mind is made up to marry you, but I see what you mean about a proposal. I would let him know that I want the romance that goes along with the official engagement, that is, down on one knee, a ring, and popping the question. Don't start out your life together settling for what you can get and letting him out easy. You don't have to be high maintenance either. Just let him know that you want the romance as well.

Answer 8

amybe he wants to make sure that you are anyone dose not have to stress out about any thing and can plan for a nice wedding and get you what you want even thought you are both good on cash weddings can be very costly and he wants to strech things out and not everything all at once.. I know it happend to my dad it got very $$$$$ and i had everything he had to stay working in another state and fly in for the wedding and the birht of my little brother and fly right back to work...yes im 20 and my step mom had a baby one week before my wedding which was really hectic and cused lots of stress and maybe he wnats everything to go well so don't worrie.

Answer 9

That was a really half-hearted committment on your boyfriend's part. If he was ready to get married, he would have come out and asked you to marry him, and you two would be making real plans for your future. I would sit down with him and have a real heart-to-heart to find out what he wants for the future, explain how you feel and hopefully you will be able to find a happy medium in your future path together. :)

Answer 10

Well, I think that may be the most confusing signal that any man ever sent. I wouldnt be surprised if you just kind of sat there with a weird look of "What just happened here?" on your face after he said it and continued to wear the face through the rest of the day.

I'd flat out as him what the hell that meant.