How do you tell someone who is otherwise, intelligent and succesful, that they have the manners of a pig.?

Question

This ruins their total image and if you try to tackfully suggest something they just get mad. But eating with your jaw packed full and then talking, turning up a soup bowl and drinking out of it, holding the fork with their fist, is totally embarassing.

Answer 1

Depends on who the "pig" is. If it's someone older than you (mother, father, grandma,) or in authority over you (boss, teacher etc) then your best bet is to either find someone that is their own age or equal to them status wise and have them say something.

If it is someone at your own level, try the "sandwich" technique. Start by complimenting them on how great they dress or look or what a great job they do at their work. Once they are feeling pretty good about themselves, tell them that you have noticed that OTHER people remark about their manners. Tell them that you would hate for people to judge them unfairly simply because they slurp their soup. Then end the conversation by encouraging them. Tell them you know it's probably just an oversight on their part and you know that they know how to eat properly, they just probably forgot.

If the nice thing doesn't work...go for blunt. Tell them that they look like a pig slopping at the trough and that people around them notice. Nobody likes to eat with sloppy people. I once had a dinner guest that somehow managed to get sauce all over my kitchen walls because of horrible manners. They were never invited over again.
Buy them a book on table manners and give it to them annonymously.
If they refuse to change, then tell them that you won't go out in public with them to eat.

Listen, they can't be ALL that intelligent OR successful if they have such bad manners. Intelligent people are able to take correction and learn from it. Ignorant ones are the ones that refuse to see their own shortfalls.

Answer 2

I like the videotaping idea. Sometimes people aren't aware of bad habits or they need some perspective on it. However, if this person is so intelligent and successful, they probably already know they're a pig and don't care. Sooner or later they embarress themselves at a social event when they realize that everyone else cares, not just you.

Answer 3

LOL

Depends on what sort of relationship you have with the pig.

If you are a close friends/boyfriend/married, you may be able to talk in private. (Don't use the term 'pig')

But pointing out the pig's faults always puts the pig on the defensive as pig will feel he/she is being attacked.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

i would say that you could say it out-right - maybe as a question - ask if they were ever shown how to eat properly? and if not, offer them the chance to learn to, if they'd like.
or video them eating and play it back to them.
although this person maybe totally happy with stuffing food into their gob without any bother aboutu what other people think and this attitude may be a "quality" in other areas of their life!

Answer 5

Perhaps you should buy them a book on etiquette. Tell them people respect them in most ways but this book will really help them. They might not like it at first but I bet they read it when no one's watching.

Answer 6

Just like that, if they're really that Rude then they don't deserve courtesy. that and they'll probably respect you more for being so forward and not tip toeing around the subject.

Answer 7

Sounds like you two not compatible.
Find a friend you can enjoy being around and they can do the same.

Answer 8

Anonymous note. This person needs to be told, but if you tell them they would be embarassed and so would you.
-type it so that they can't check out your handwriting