Breastfeeding question?

Question

I am pregnant with my first baby. I come from a family who feel very strongly about breastfeeding and the benefits. I was breastfed till I was 2 1/2 years, and my younger brother fed till he was 4, we both refused bottles and dummies and went directly to cup. We have never been very ill and both grew up to be well adjusted children. I want to breast feed until my baby is ready to come off, and feel nothing is wrong with it, toddlers just do it for comfort more than hunger anyway, now the problem is my partner and his mother say its abnormal and I will be harming my child and both are trying to forbid me from feeding this way past a year, should I be told what to do with regards to my own child?

Answer 1

I think you should tell your mother in law to mind her own business! In regards to your partner he is merely following his mother thoughts about it. I am currently a breastfeeding mother and intend on doing it min. a year, hopefully a bit longer. It has the most nutritional value that surpasses all food. Personally I think 4yrs. old is a bit long being that it really is kind of just a soothing thing for the child at that age, but if you feel comfortable doing it that long then go for it. There is absolutely no harm being done to your child by giving him the best nutrition that there is. They're nuts. You are the mother neither one of them should actually have say so, it's ultimately up to you, it may cause problems with your partner later, cross that bridge when it arrives. Good luck!

Answer 2

I'm in a slightly similar situation. My mother in law has brought up several times that I am going to need a lot of bottles because, "You're not going to want to feed the baby." Those were her actual words. I know she meant breastfeed and I know that the baby is going to drive us to the brink with his many needs. At the same time though, I can't help but feel that once the baby is here, knowing how limited his time will be as a baby, that I wouldn't want to take every advantage of that time. Anyway, when she makes these comments, I just shrug it off and laugh with my mom about it later.

I would basically say, "Okay, I'm just going to do it for a year." Then if you want to go past a year, do it. You will be the primary caregiver to your child and your husband and his mother won't be around most of the time. Your husband will probably come around after seeing you with the baby. Right now he's depending on his mother's experience, but once he sees for himself you and the baby together, he'll probably understand your point of view much better.

Anyway, this really isn't worth discussing with your mother in law at this point. First, it's none of her damn business and second, it's over a year away. Just plan on doing what you think is right and in the meantime, keep the peace. Best of luck to you, new mom.

Answer 3

My problem with this situation is his mother. It is none of her business what you do. I breastfed my son until he was 14 months old. He lost interest around that time and after about 12 months it was just first thing in the morning and last thing before bed as a comfort anyway. You should do what you want, it is your body. But you should listen to your husband too. Does he really have a problem with it or is it just his parents that are causing him to feel this way? I don't think he has the right to forbid anything, but it is a partnership and you might consider a compromise. It is your child, but it is his child too. It won't be harming your child in any way if you agree to breastfeed for the first year and then wean your child. But the decision should be between you and your husband and his mom and your mom should stay out of it.

Answer 4

Granted, it is his child as well, but obviously they haven't been learned on the advantages of breast-feeding. I would take some pamphlets (your local WIC offices) has these regarding the great things on breast-feeding. I breast-fed my child for a year and he then went to a cup. I had a friend that breast-fed her baby for 3 years. Nothing wrong with it. You would not be harming your child, you would be helping him. It is a proven fact that babies that are breast-fed have higher IQ's, hardly get sick and much more advantages. They need to learn the pros about breast-feeding. Bottle feeding has a lot of cons. Show them the difference. Mothers milk is the best. I would never give my child 'cow' milk. I know some mothers can't help but to bottle feed and others look down on the "breast-feeding" as a sexual thing, due to the world society and different cultures. I highly recommend you to not give up and fight for your beliefs.

Answer 5

Get them a book, or perhaps the internet. There is absolutely not a shred of evidence indicating breastfeeding has any negative effects at all, period. Anyway you're the Mom, what are they going to do, rip him off your breast?
The American Pediatric Association says feeding past a year is fine as long as both Mom and baby are comfortable with it. If they say so, I believe them.
Forbidding a mother from feeding her child...sick and wrong.

Answer 6

Well actually you can start by letting them know it is recommend the you BF for at LEAST a year, as in that's the min amount of time. It's definitely not going to harm the child (obviously you know that). I would start collecting info from places like the le leche league, WIC, etc. And also talk to your doc or pediatrician about it. Tell them your position and ask if you can bring your family in so the benefits can be explained, and get those myths de-bunked. They may better except the voice of a professional. I would avoid engaging in argument about it, just stick to the documented facts. I doubt they are going to be able to come up with any real proof to add weight to their case. And have a private conversation with your partner. Be honest. Let him know how truly important this is to you. Once he can't back up his thoughts with proof ask him what the real concern is, is it that he just thinks people will look at you weird and make judgments or comments if they see/know you are nursing a 2 +yr old. Well welcome to parenthood, because everyone is gonna have an opinion on whats right for YOUR kid, but you are the only ones that can make those choices. Let him know he can begin now, and not let peoples opinions raise his kid... (plus I have found more ppl are supportive than not when it comes to nursing)

**Oh I wanted to add a second thought: That if after all of this they are still giving you a hard time and not willing to respect your choice, I would just drop it until after you've already nursed for a year. By then your partner will probably be much more used to the whole nursing concept and it may not bother him so much. Also fyi for you and you can also can share this with your guy, my last two I nursed until we had stopped enjoying it... that wound up being at 19 mos for my second and 15 mos for my third. In both cases my milk started to dry up and they would just get mad and pull on me/bitting/fusing, causing us both frustration, so there was to reason to continue. You guys may not want to keep going for 4 years... everyone is different and you wont know until you get there.

Answer 7

This is 100% a personal choice. Unfortunately, what makes it a difficult one is that you and your partner aren't on the same page with it. Personally, I wouldn't choose to breastfeed a child past 1 year. I would pump milk to ensure that my child was getting the best that there was, but I wouldn't have them still breastfeed. Your partner and his mother can't actually forbid you from doing this. Why do they have such a strong opinion on it? The same question applies for you as well. Is it because this is how you were raised, or do you have different reasoning for it?

Answer 8

I would breastfeed for at least a year and then play it by ear after that. Teeth come in during the first year, so that could become a factor and after a year you may decide that you are ready to stop. It is exhausting to breastfeed, but we still do it for the baby. Best of luck. My mother-in-law was against BF completely, but she managed through a year with each child. Just tune out the comments and do what you feel is best and what works for you.

Answer 9

Do what you feel is right for your child. Just because they say their opinions doesn't make them right. You will know your baby better than anyone else. More than the father, and more than the in laws, and your family.... You are the only mom this baby has. If you don't do what you think is right for him/her, who will?

breastfeeding is a very personal choice. I say, if it feels like the right thing to do, then by all means, do it.

Answer 10

If you want to breastfeed, go for it! You're the baby's mother. However, if your partner is an active participant in the baby's life, you should also take his feelings into consideration. His mother shouldn't have a say in how you raise your child though.