Do you think that having another biological child after you have adopted one previously is right?

Question

have been informed that it is againest adoption regulations to conceive again after an adoption. Anyone else heard this before?

Social services say that it may make the adopted child feel bad! I think they make it up as they go along. Other adopter was told it as well.

Answer 1

I'm the oldest of three children. Both myself and my younger brother were adopted. My mom had had several miscarriages and thought she could not conceive. This was an issue for them while adopting me. My birth mother specifically wanted a family who could not conveive to adopt me. She didn't want the family to have a biological child and an adopted one. She thought there might be some discrimination or preference. However, my mother did have my younger sister several years later.
I don't think this is against any law, it doesn't sound like it could be in the US anyways, but depending on the agency you are going through, perhaps your specific agency has regulations.
Some people will say parents love all their children equally, so there is nothing to not wanting to mix biological and adopted children. But I think at least some people, if they really look into their hearts, do favor one child over another, even in families where no children are adopted. Doesn't the oldest usually get just a little more pressure and the youngest a little more help and sympathy?
In my family, there is definately a difference between the adopted children and the natural one. Personality is definately a lot nurture, but also part nature. We three kids are quite different from each other both physically and mentally. But my sister is just like my parents, both in physical and mental aspects. Things like intelligence and certain preferences are passed down. My brother and I also have more mental issues than my sister, who is very well-balanced. I think many adopted children will go through some mental issues, such as depression, at some points in their lives, just because of the experience of being adopted.

So I think it is wrong for someone to say there will be no difference in the children. But I also think it's wrong for them to tell you you can't have another child. My birth mother was right. My parents have always been the best with my sister, partly because she is so much like them, partly because she is the youngest. But I know that they love all of us and I am grateful to have been taken in by a loving family who had much better means to support me than my birth mother did. Maybe she and I look alike and are more alike in personality, but living with her I wouldn't have gotten to go on so many vacations every year, wouldn't have been taken to museums and cultural events, would have gone to school in a poor and troubled school district. I'm sure I would have a similar personality, but I wouldn't have turned out to be anywhere as near as intelligent or healthy as I am today if I had grown up with her. So maybe my parents do show some favoritism, but I am thankful to them for taking me in and giving me a really good start in life.

Answer 2

Who informed you of this? That isn't true. It couldn't be. How can anyone stop you from having a child after you adopt? That is impossible. If it WERE true, it would be a Constitutional lawsuit waiting to happen. In any case, I know at least two examples from people I personally know where they adopted a child, and later had biological kids of their own. Nothing happened, except that the adopted kid had some siblings to play with.

p.s. Someone above made a good point. I admittedly presumed you were in America, but the fact is that a lot of people here are not. If you live otherside the United States, I easily could be wrong.

Answer 3

No I have not heard of this and I have many friends that A) are adopted and have a younger sibling that is a biological child of the parents, or B) are the biological child and have an older adopted sibling. They are all well-adjusted and healthy adults now. Adopting and have biological children all depends on the parents. If they treat all the children the same, well not the same because every child is treated uniquely, but with same love and affection, and attention, then there usually isn't a problem.

Answer 4

No. As far as I know, there is no regulations against conceiving a baby after an adoption. Take a look at Angelina Jolie, she's adopted 2 despite having 1 of her own.
As far as it's right, It only effects the adopted child if you treat the children differently. ie. Giving more attention to the conceived child. Provided they are brought up both equally loved and given the same attention and upbringing then that's all that matters.

Answer 5

No, that would be ridiculous, even under the best circumstances, birth control isn't 100% effective and most couples who have adopted (or don't think they are fertile) don't use birth control. My husband's mom was adopted and her parents went on to have 3 more kids biologically after her. Maybe what you heard was that you can't have a biological child while (ie about to give birth etc) you are in the adoption proceedings but there is nothing wrong with having more than one child, however those children enter your life. Best wishes

Answer 6

No, that is stupid. It is your choice or good fortune to have a biological child. You adopted for what ever reason and good for you for giving that child a good home. I'm sure your current child will love having a baby brother or sister. Don't listen to people. The docs told my Aunt she could never have children. So she adopted then a miracle happened and she had a baby boy and their first child loved and still loves his brother and now they both have a younger sister. They all are very happy and you wouldn't even know he was adopted. It is your choice to do what ever you want. No one can tell you not to have a biological child. What if it happend by accident! That is just stupid. You go have your baby and live happily ever after with all of your children.

Answer 7

I think it's fine. You wouldn't tell a mother to not have another child simply because her other one would feel bad. And to have adopted a child means that you are looking after it as tough it were your own. If you fostered, then perhaps it would be different, but with an adopted child I can't see a problem.

It's most certainly not against any laws. That would infringe civil rights. Everyone has the right to birth a child (if they can). If there are regulations in place to stop it, I'm going to protest!! In love and light, Tasha x

Answer 8

No, I hadn't heard that. Personally, I can see the sense behind this although I would never criticise a family if it happened, I guess it's different on the inside. This happened to some extended family of mine a loooong time ago before I was born and, well, the adopted kid was thoroughly screwed up. She's very insecure and has difficulty maintaining 'normal' relationships. Just think how inadequate surplus to requirements the adopted child could feel if not handled properly.

Answer 9

That's stupid! They should not tell you not to have another child. What about all those couples out there that find out that they are pregnant right after they adopt? Should they not have their child because they adopted one? No they should be able to have as many as they want. Just make sure you treat all your child as close to the same as you can. I know not all children can be treated the same because of their personalities but don't treat the other like they are less than because they are not blood. No matter what they are your children all of them blood or not. No one should be able to tell you that you can not have another child. That's like saying after you adopt one you shouldn't adopt another one. If you can take care of them then I think you should have as many children as you want

Answer 10

My sister is adopted and I am a bio child of my parents, I am younger than my sister. If anything to have another bio child would be a great way to bond with the adopted child more, get them involved their baby brothers/ sisters life, creates more of a family unit. and this other sibling will never know the difference because the adopted child has always been there