For parents: how did you know that you were ready to be a parent?

Question

And knowing what you know NOW, what advice would you share (that you wish you had been given?)

Kudos to you all, you all sound like amazing parents...and parents-to-be!
Well bloody done!

Answer 1

I don't think you will ever know you are ready. It is different when you are actually pregnant and being a parent than anything you could have previously experienced. I have nearly 20 years of experience with kids (kids at-risk, kids with disabilities, gifted and talented kids) and being a parent is different. My experience is useful, but it can't prepare you for everything. Being a parent is more than just managing your money, changing diapers and helping with homework. There is an immense amount of guilt, for things you really even shouldn't feel guilty about. It starts in pregnancy, every penny spent unwisely, every bite of fatty unhealthy food, every minute not spent listening to Mozart. You wonder about every little thing you could have done better. After they are born you wonder if you will be good enough, will you give them inough stimulation to be as smart as they should be, will you be able to have enough money for college, is that little quirk of theirs somehow your fault and will it be a big issue when they are adults? Being a parent is an exercise in insanity, and it is the most wonderful thing I could have ever imagined. If I could give a new parent one piece of advice it would be this: Just do your best, life is not permanent and you will be able to fix any mistakes you may make.

Answer 2

I thought i was ready until she came along. I spent a lot of time with my nephew from birth and thought it was amazing so we were over the moon when we became pregnant. The only problem being we never witnessed the late nights, struggle to get the feeds right, getting them to bed, routines, when to wean, how to wean the list goes on and on.
My lil ones 6 months and boy is it hard work, shes constantly attatched to my hip, i smell of sick all of the time, my white clothes are now orange (baby food) and i have amazing bags under my eyes due to her unsettled sleep.
If i'd have known all this i probably would have waited until i was older, (i'm 24 now) Im still not ready to be a parent but i do the best i can and make the most of the time we have together which is what every parent should do, and don't worry about the hard times too much.

Answer 3

Well, Personally I can't put words to the feeling, because for us it was just a feeling that we were ready, it was what we wanted, and it would be generally good all around :)

I've enver been one to think waiting for outside circumstances when thinking about having children is the best way to go about it (being in a well paid job, being married, being over 25 etc etc)

Hell, I was 17 when my partner (29 at the time) and I decided we'd try for our own family. 4 months later we were pregnant. No, we didn't have fantastic jobs, no, we weren't married, etc etc. But our son is happy, has almost never been ill, well mannered, fun to be with, and eloquent. And that's down to us as parents. I'd certainly say our feelings of being ready were true :)

Oh, and baby number two is due any week now :)

Oh, and advice?

you're the parent, you know your baby best. No book has ever met your child, don't let books sway your own good judgement :)

Answer 4

When the pregnancy test showed me I was pregnant. To be honest, I didn't know if I was ready or not but I knew I was going to be so I decided I was going to do my best. I'm still trying to do my best but to be honest I still feel like that scared little girl again (I was 18 when I had my first) because as I progress into the next stage (which is coincidentally exactly when I discover how to deal with the current one) I feel like I am starting all over again.
My best advice is:
1. Unconditional Love (no matter what your child does tend to it with love and you can't go wrong)
2. Never, ever put on the blinders (no child is perfect and will make mistakes, acknowledge them and help them get through them)
3. Always try to do you best
4. Ask the important questions when doing everything:
a. How will this effect my child(ren)
b. Will this benefit my child(ren)
c. Is there anything about this that will hurt my child(ren)
5. Put yourself first (sounds a little self involved and contradictory to what I have said up to this point BUT if you do not care for yourself who will be there to care for your children)
6. Your child(ren) always come after you and before everyone and everything else
7. BEING A PARENT IS AN ONGOING LEARNING EXPERIENCE (hindsight, I should have put that one first because it is one of the most important things to parenthood, none of us have all the answers and as our children grow we grow with them)

Mind you, I am only on year 11 and I am still learning so in the future I may (as I have done in the past) revise this list as I learn more about being a parent.

Answer 5

i never knew i was ready i had my daughter at 20 and my twins at 21 and they just happened and i knew I had to grow up as was going to be a mummy!

Advice that I can give is don't rock baby to sleep.. We did this with our 1st daughter and even today she is such a bad sleeper! Also I would advice to put baby in cot or moses basket each night and it will cry for couple of mins and then will stop, i done this with my twins.. also put them in their own room at around 8 weeks/ 2 months as then they wont get used to sleeping in the room with you!

Other than that there is easy days and there is hard days but the good outweigh the bad.. I have 3 girls and for all there has been some awful days I plan to have another in the not so distant future :)

Answer 6

No one even me thought I was ready for parent hood but when you have the baby you realise that your the one it depends on and an instinct takes over. Nothing can prepare you for it and they will be times when you think that you cant cope but when the worst bits have gone you will look back an think you are stupid for not believeing in urself.
My best advice was things never get worse or better one problem just gets replaced by another so take each day at a time.

Answer 7

i dont think that anyone is 100% ready cause having a child completely changes your life in everyway. The child becomes the main priority. To make things easier, its best if the financial side of things are stable. Start looking forward to a lot of shopping trips!!

Raising a child is challenging but its fun and rewarding at the same time. there wont be an end to the 'firsts' and you'll be there to help the little fella every step of the way.

Answer 8

Sounds weird, but true. I used to HATE the sound of a baby crying, made me cringe and just get out of wherever the baby was. But then one day I heard a baby cry and all I wanted to do was go comfort it, I knew then that I was ready to have my own child and deal with the crying that comes along with it.

Advice: DO NOT worry so much about your pregnancy and don't believe everything you read!! Your doctor is there to help you and will tell you if something is wrong.

Answer 9

You don't and by then it's too late- but let me gaurantee you being a parent is one thing you won't regret. I was 19 with my first and I was lucky enough to buy a house and provide for my son. But it was a struggle and the ex is still a pain in the a**. So the one good piece of advice I can give you is choose a good dad and enjoy your life first cause when the babies come it's all about them (the little darlings)

Answer 10

i wasn't ready. but now that i am a parent i can honestly say that you can never be "ready" because its just so unlike anything you will have ever experienced, you can be prepared financially and that's about all. you tell yourself that you will love your baby more than anything but when you actually find out how MUCH that is its overwhelming. you tell your self that you will worry more but when you actually find out how MUCH you worry then its overwhelming. you tell yourself you'll be happier but when you find out how MUCH a smile or a first step will make you happy then its overwhelming.
the advice I'd give is don't wait to be ready, take each day as it comes, take care of yourself (you will be the sun and the moon to someone who needs you more than any one ever has) and be prepared for life as you know it to be a thing of the past. you wont regret a second of it.