This Question is for guys and girls. Who's right and who's wrong?

Question

So i bought a car 3 days ago. and i didnt ask for my boyfriend's help, and he is very angry about it, and he doesnt think i got a good deal. First of all i got a Pontiac G5 GT for 20 thousand, the MSRP price is 19 thousand, and i got a 3500 dollar discount from my job. So he told me that if i didnt take it back then he was going to reconsider our relationship and moving forward with me. well i'm not taking the damn car back, and now he's saying he doesnt want to move forward with me. Now is that over reacting or is it just me? cause i think he is the one being childish, not me for buying a car. oh, and he's mad beacuse i only got $300 for my 1998 taurus with 156,000 miles. what do you guys think?

Answer 1

You don't say how old you are, but I suspect that you have been taking care of yourself and handling your own business for a while. The first insult is that your boyfriend has so little faith in your decision making. Even if you were completely wrong - you still have every right to make your own decisions. Mistakes are made in order to help people learn. The second insult is to put a condition on your not asking him for his help in the matter. If he doesn't want to "move forward" with you, it sounds like the third insult is his selfishness, self-serving and controlling issues which might creep up somewhere else in your relationship. Now, I can truly understand that a man would be concerned about his woman making a huge purchase and not seeking him out to ask his thoughts or opinions - but at the end of the day- his opinion or not - you still have to do what you feel is best for you, I think he has over reacted a tad bit. Now, I hope that in your search for a new vehicle, you did a little homework. Did you check with the NADA or Kelly Blue Book before you sold your vehicle? Did you sell to a private buyer or trade? 156,000 is a lot of miles however, if your vehicle was in excellent or good condition - you might have gotton upwards of $3500 for the vehicle. Here - would be the only point your boyfriend could make logically. If the car was in bad shape - then $300-800 might be all you could get for it. Sit down and talk with him. Make sure you have a clear understanding that unless you are married - he really can only advise you if you ask for it. And certainly to carry his feelings further into a 'threat' position is not fair. You are an adult and he is not treating you like one. Conditions placed on your relationship like this indicate that there could be even more problems in the future. You might have to consider that it's good you are finding out how he thinks - now - before you go further. If is drawing lines in the sand now - you might be better off. I hope you enjoy your new car.

Answer 2

I think he is over-reacting like most 4 year olds do. I couldn't tell you whether or not you got a good deal as I don't know much about cars myself and I got suckered into buying a lemon from a dealership because I'm a girl and went it completely clueless. Had I had a guy with me I may not have gotten the car that I financed 8g's and put over 3 g's in repairs in the last year (starting in less than a week after buying the car) i paid the vehicle off and all together paid over 14thousand for the 8thousand I financed plus the 3 thousand in repairs. I was taken advantage of big time. I can understand your man being concerned that this might also happen to you but he's taking the wrong approach. And taking the car back might not be an option. My mom tried to take a car back to a dealer just 5 days after buying it because she realized she couldn't afford it and they told her she would still have to pay off the remaining loan amount. She still has the car. As far as the 300 you got for your car...who knows. If you sold it to the dealer they probably did swindle you. You could have have probably gotten $1000 if you just slapped a for sale sign on it. But who knows. ***to the person who said that he might be concerned about his financial future....any man that expects a woman to be the bread winner is a coward. It's biblical. It is not the womans place to support, protect and provide for the house, it's a mans place.
If you like the car, and you think that you got a good deal then so be it. If he's going to be a child about it, then you don't need him anyway. If he realizes that it was your decision to make and grows up then great. In the mean time, drive it like you stole it...enjoy your new ride! But...if I were you, to be on the safe side, buy the extended warranty the dealer offered you. It could save you the 3 grand I lost...oh btw...the repairs weren't 200 here and 500 there....the car (actually a ford explorer) as in the garage 3 times before the original warranty expired so repairs then were free. Then 3 times in less that a year at $1400 the first time $800 the second and $1300 the third time...this vehicle could have killed me...ball joints and tie rods....I drove numerous times from NY to PA...with my children...the passenger front tire could have broke off at any given moment...Someone had His hand over my vehicle...and I am forever grateful. Thank you Jesus!!!

Answer 3

Men like to think they are the only ones with brains in the car dept. If it was your car, simply tell him I needed something more reliable. He probably knows a guy who would have paid more for it out of the dealership. Hey, I have had a flat tire before and gone out and paid a pretty penny for a new one instead of fixing my old one. When I got all the advice back after the fact, I simply said I am the one paying the bill so don't get all bent out of shape. When you are both under the same roof and sharing bills then I think that is the time to consult him. I didn't say do what he says. I just said talk to him and get feed back, unless he is the one making your car payments.

Answer 4

Well, I don't know anything about cars, but this man clearly has control issues. If he's going to manipulate you and wager your relationship over a car, think of how difficult he will be to manage when it comes down to real decisions such as buying a house or having a baby. For that matter you probably won't dress the way he likes, prepare his food the way he likes, or breathe in the proper rythym.

Sorry, I'd call off the relationship unless he can do some serious apologizing.

Answer 5

He's being childish and over reacting about you purchasing the car. I wouldn't be too upset about $300 for the Taurus but maybe you could have gotten a few hundred more, but nothing extreme.

Answer 6

I think if he is saying he will end the relationship over this...then maybe he is being a bit childish....
But on the other hand...maybe you made an impulse buy (all woman are guilty of this!) and maybe you should have rethought the whole thing. What kind of job does he have? Maybe he knows more about cars than you do, and he is hurt that you didnt include him in the decision of buying one. Maybe you guys should sit down, and talk about it. Maybe he is trying to help you. ?

Answer 7

I think if it's your money, it's your business. Whether you got a "good deal" or not, what matters is that you are satisfied with it.

If that's what he's using as a reason to break up, then he was ready to break up anyway and this is his excuse (instead of being a man and just having already done it).

Let him go...if he's that controlling now, how bad would he be if you were married?

Enjoy your car...I think you'll get a lot more joy and miles out of it than your current man. ☺

Answer 8

Well you did sell the car a little cheap but yeah he's being an *** and very stupid... If he really is gonna be that stupid about it then you just need to move on with your new car and get a better guy

Answer 9

hez being a childish. You see cars is more like his area of expertise & the fact that you didnt ask him before u bought a car kinda pissed him off . If thats only reason he doesnt want you , screw him leave him n move on

Answer 10

i mean maybe you didn't get the best deal, but he can get the **** over it... your a big girl and you can do what ever you want... he is being very childish, and if anything you should leave him.... you can really see your self in the future with this guy you gets upset about you useing your money to buy your car... please this guy is a looser... and trust me sweetie you got a good car, and it is worth what you put into it so tell him to **** off... good luck .... don't waste your time with children, leave him and find a man