my fiancee and i had planned to get married next june but due to money issues i cannot have the wedding i have always dreamed of. is it corny to be wed by a justice of the peace and then have a real ceremony when money isnt so tight? i love him and want to marry him but i also wanted a big ceremony. will it make the day less magical if i am already technically married? any answers to this would be appreciated. iam in a delimma here.
2007-05-18 01:11:33 · 13 answers · asked by sunshine 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
i am asking this question honestly. if you are going to be mean dont bother to answer. thank you
2007-05-18 02:27:59 · update #1
I am in the same situation I be wed by the justice of the peace first and when we had enough money we plan for real ceremony. It will be still the same lovely feeling as you are married to someone you love. By the way congratulation to you.
2007-05-18 03:48:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with two weddings. A friend of mine was married at city hall and ten years later she had a huge ceremony and it didn't make the day less magical - as a matter of fact - it was that much more special because they had been together for so long.
If you feel really strong about having a second one, then you should do that and start preparing now for what you may or may not want to spend. Remember big, doesn't always mean more beautiful.
One thing you may also want to look at is a possible destination where you can have a large wedding, but things are a lot more reasonable (financially), but its just a suggestion : ) I did a destination because I got more for less money and it was well worth it in the end.
2007-05-18 11:23:31 · answer #2 · answered by Scarlett 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Personally, if you can't afford the wedding of your dreams I'd wake up and smell the coffee - are you ready for marriage at all - and do you have realistic goals?
That said, Yes, the big church thing is done all the time when couples are already "technically" married. It's perfectly OK. Sometimes couples of different cultures/faiths etc. have a second ceremony to please one or the other's family. It's OK.
Whether it's more magical than the JP- well, that's up to you.
Plus, money will always be tight. It's always tight. How about putting Princess back on a shelf and get married in a small intimate wedding - with just your immediate families? It can be a lovely jewel that doesn't take up all your money, time and resources.
2007-05-18 09:24:08 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not really. What you can do is have the ceremony with the justice of the peace next month, and a reception later.
Yes, it will make the day less magical, but you really can't get up in front of a bunch of people and "pretend" to get married the second time around. They know, and they could think that you are being silly.
If the big ceremony is important to you, then wait until you can afford it. Save your cash... try to cut back on expenses, and wait. The alternative is to have the wedding that you can afford at the time, and know that you are being a financially responsible adult who is going to spend the rest of your life with the MAN you have always dreamed of... that is more important than the wedding you have always dreamed of.
2007-05-18 08:46:10 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do what you feel is right. If you go with JP you can still go with wearing a wedding dress and everybody dress nice but only immediate family and a celebration afterwards, I've known several people that have done this. And then pick up things a little at a time to keep a budget and get family or friends to help with the preparation (hair,music,decorations,makeup) and make your own food it's cheaper to do that and you get alot more for your money. When you have all you need in months, a year however long it takes to collect things then have a ceremony not to be married but to renew your vows. You see a lot of people doing this because they didn't have the money, wanted to rush into things, or didn't want all the big excitement but have rethought that and wished they would have so they renew their vows in a dream wedding setting.
2007-05-18 09:53:05 · answer #5 · answered by Emilee D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The marriage vows is what is important not so much the glamour of a fancy wedding. Once you are married, then you begin save money so you can buy a house, plan to start a family and so on.
You can get married by the Justice of the Peace and then have a gathering at a local hall and a buffet.
2007-05-18 08:36:30 · answer #6 · answered by Patty G 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Alot of people have done it the way your talking, but usually you cant call it a wedding its more a renewal of vows, personally i think it wont be as special if your already married on the day you redo it, its tempting because its easier to do it when you have all the money but in later years you may regret it, so either wait untill you can afford it or just settle for a smaller wedding
2007-05-18 23:42:36 · answer #7 · answered by Calebs Mummy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't say this to be mean, but to be direct and honest: It is bad manners, bad etiquette, and rude to have two wedding ceremonies-- one real one, and one to be more fancy, "for show."
It would be better to instead have a first anniversary party or banquet, and it can be as formalas you wish, and you can wear a ballgown and even have a tiered cake and stuff.
But don't have a re-run ceremony-- that would be in poor taste and dishonoring the vows you took the first time-- Because regardless of how "non-fancy" your original ceremony is, it is THAT FIRST CEREMONY-- the one that MADE you a married couple, that is your "real" wedding, and it's dishonorable to pretend otherwise.
A wedding can be big without being expensive. You just need to set your priorities and plan carefully.
2007-05-18 09:47:02 · answer #8 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, only one wedding. If you truly want to get married, have whatever type of wedding you can afford. So what if it's not the "wedding of your dreams" - you aren't a little girl any more! The MAGIC comes in the marriage, not on the wedding day!
2007-05-18 10:34:27 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can try for the wedding of your dreams in June by cutting corners where you can. www.theknot.com has great advice on how to DIY alot of the things that cost so much: invites, savethedates, programs, place cards, flowers, centerpieces, etc.
Have a friend do your hair and makeup.
Buffets are cheaper than sitdown dinners.
Supermarket cake decorators can do a good job (do research in your area) on wedding cakes.
Go to bridal shows and look for vendors that are offering discount on tuxedos.
Join the church (if you want a church wedding) so there won't be an additional charge for the church. And belonging to a church couldn't hurt anyone, anyway!
Congratulations. You've found the one for you.
2007-05-18 08:26:33 · answer #10 · answered by bridalbecca 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋