Pretty close!
Raquel Alessi stars on TV’s FBI drama Standoff, who plays intelligence officer Lia Mathers.
You can't put the "who" so far from the person you're referring to. I would say:
Raquel Alessi stars on TV’s FBI drama Standoff, playing intelligence officer Lia Mathers.
or just
Raquel Alessi stars as intelligence officer Lia Mathers on TV’s FBI drama Standoff.
She played a role of a young Roxanne in the movie Ghost Rider and is scheduled to appear in the upcoming release Summerhood.
She played THE role (unless there was more than one roles of a young Roxanne)
Just "of young Roxanne" sounds more natural, but the "a" isn't really wrong.
She has also appeared on the cover OF Maxim magazine.
2007-05-18 00:29:27
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answer #1
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answered by Goddess of Grammar 7
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The grammar is incorrect.
You might look at this for comparison:
Raquel Alessi plays the starring role of Intelligence Officer Lia Mathers on TV’s FBI drama "Standoff". Previously, Ms. Alessi had the role of a young Roxanne in the movie "Ghost Rider". She is scheduled to appear in the upcoming release of "Summerhood" and she has also appeared on the cover of Maxim Magazine.
2007-05-18 07:40:40
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answer #2
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answered by Ef Ervescence 6
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Raquel Alessi stars on TV’s FBI drama "Standoff", who plays intelligence officer Lia Mathers. She played a role of a young Roxanne in the movie "Ghost Rider", and is scheduled to appear in the upcoming release "Summerhood." She has also appeared on the cover Maxim magazine.
2007-05-18 07:26:38
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answer #3
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answered by ryan_duz 3
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Raquel Alessi stars on TV’s FBI drama "Standoff". (Playing intelligence officer Lia Mathers.) Raquel Alessi also played in THE role of THE young Roxanne in the movie "Ghost Rider", and she is scheduled to appear in the upcoming release : "Summerhood".
Raquel Alessi has also appeared on the cover of "Maxim" magazine.
2007-05-18 07:28:12
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answer #4
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answered by V B 5
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The previous answer is close to correct. Consider please this version.
Raquel Alessi stars in TV's drama "Standoff"playing the role of Intelligence officer, Lia Nathers. She played the role of young Roxanne in the movie "Ghost Rider"and is scheduled to appear in the upcoming release of "Summerhood".She has also appeared on the cover of "Maxim" magazine.
You should pay attention to articles,prepositions, punctuation and quotation marks.
Good luck! Your English is very good but needs some improvement.
2007-05-18 11:46:05
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answer #5
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answered by ML 5
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Raquel Alessi stars on the (station) drama "Standoff," (where she or in which she) plays an intelligence officer named Lia Mathers. She has held parts in movies such as Ghost Rider and the unreleased Summerhood. Alessi has also been featured of the cover of Maxim magazine.
2007-05-18 07:31:45
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answer #6
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answered by P G 3
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It is correct all of the way down to the following:
(cover Maxim magazine), an (of) should have been inserted between cover and Maxim,to read that She has also appeared on the cover of Maxim magazine.
2007-05-18 07:31:31
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answer #7
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answered by old_ge.ezer 3
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Put "Standoff" in quotes, "Ghost Rider" in quotes and "Summerhood" in quotes. Do not separate "has appeared" with also. Just say "In addition, she has appeared . . . " Has appeared is the present perfect tense, and should not be separated. The first sentence should be two sentences, separated at the comma. Instead of "who" say "She" to start the second sentence.
2007-05-18 07:31:41
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answer #8
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answered by rattyboo 3
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delete "who plays" and replace with "playing". You need the word "of" between "cover" and "Maxim". Otherwise this looks fine gramatically, anthough stylistically not as good, as you use the word play and the word appear more than once.
2007-05-18 07:28:06
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answer #9
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answered by ruralsouthwell 4
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I would take a look at the first sentence of your paragraph. Read the paragraph out loud or over and over and see how it sounds.
2007-05-18 07:28:44
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answer #10
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answered by e j 2
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