What advice do you give a friend that has HSV I?

Question

I have a friend who has HSV I in the gential area. She got it from her boyfriend when he preformed oral sex on her. Her boyfriend tells her that he didn't know that he had it because he has never had a cold sore. She doesn't want to be with him any more because she fells that she can't trusted me. However she is afraid to leave, because she will have to find a new partner, and either tell him that she has it or, not and take her chances. I on the other hand told her that it is not right, if she gets involved with someone he has the right to know, she than commented that he didn't tell me and I got it so why should I "I can't live with being rejected". I thought to myself she has a point, but she should do the right thing, than I started to wonderful if it was you would you do the right thing or would you take your chances and hope that you partner doesn't get it.. If it was me I would do the right thing no lies.. What do you think?

Answer 1

She shouldn't be mad at the boyfriend because not unless they have been dating since birth, it is possible for him to have it and not know. It doesn't mean he cheated on her. She should definitely let whoever she gets involved with know what is going on with her. Try explaining it as it's the same that's on your lips except on my privates. Some people feel comfortable this way and understand the disease. It is not a death notice and it is ok. She probably will not have another outbreak for years being that it is type1. I work in a clinic and see couples everyday where one person has it and the other doesn't and they are happy, have kids, marry, and live very healthy and normal lives. It will take time for the guilt to leave, but it definitely ok.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

First give her a big hug! Tell her that things aren't over...and a lot of people w/out symptoms don't know. Alot of people have STD's and don't even know it because there are no symptoms. I felt the same way when my ex gave me HPV and he had no signs of it. Most people don't and most men are just carriers.
He probably hansn't gotten a test because HSV can be detected in the blood.

It's going to be hard but she will get through it. HSV is very common but there are ways around it and doctors have medicine to keep the virus surpressed. What they both can do is (if they want to stay toghehter) go to a doctor and have some advice and information given to them.

If she really doesn't want to be with him because she can't trust him then there are many websites she can go on for support.
www.webmd.com
www.positivesingles.com
google HSV

Answer 4

I got genital herpes caused by herpes simplex virus 1 from a guy who didn't tell me he had the virus. I believe he received oral sex from a girl who had cold sores and then when we got together and had sex he passed it to me.

She needs to tell every guy she gets involved with in the future. It's not fair that her boyfriend didn't tell her he had it, just like it wasn't fair for the guy I was with to not tell me. But, it would be wrong and totally unfair for her to keep that from any future sex partners she has.

I have told every single guy I have been with that I have genital herpes. To my surprise every single one of them was okay with it including my fiance. Of course they were concerned and didn't want to contract the virus themselves, which is completely understandable. We took every precaution we could though and not one of them ever contracted the virus from me except my fiance (boyfriend at the time). I was even with one ex for 4 years and he never got the virus from me.

Your friend needs to be open and honest and not hide this from any guy she gets with in the future. People can have perfectly normal and healthy lives with genital herpes. Take care!

Answer 5

someone who also has hiv could help you out