How do I tell my sister-in-law with children about second hand smoke?

Question

Hello.
My sisiter-in-law is a heavy smoker and smokes heavily in the house. She has 3 small children.
My nieces and nephew are CONSTANTLY getting respiratory problems, (i.e colds, bronchitis, sinus infections) and my nephew has asthma. He has to take breathing treatments and sometimes it gets really bad.
When the kids are sick, she continues to smoke in the house and seems to have no regard for them, or even realise that if she didn't do that, they may not get sick as much, not to mention, the smoking indoors isn't helping when they ARE sick!
I want to talk to her. I don't want to tell her to quit, as I know she never will. But I do want to suggest she smoke outside instead, ESPECIALLY when they are sick (as they are currently)
We live in Florida. It's not that hard to do.
The only thing is, I am so afraid she is going to get angry with me or defensive, and I don't want that.
But, I care greatly about my nephew and nieces.
PLEASE HELP!
How do I do this????
This has to stop!

Answer 1

It is your sister-in-law's choice to make. You have no right to tell her not to smoke in her own home. You should not interfere.

Answer 2

Your baby your rules. My inlaws were all heavy smokers and when our first born came along if I went into there house and they smoked (though actually it's quite amazing how they take themselves off out of the room and close another door) I would make it clear (in a nice way) that I was taking the baby away into another part of the house and would'nt return as the smoke would still be there. Stick with your house being a 'no smoking zone' and if you do that when your out and about, anybody goes near the baby with a cigarette just tell them that you'd rather they didn't. Most people will take it onboard and now, my inlaws don't smoke in there own house let alone anywhere near my children. Honestly, it doesn't have to get nasty just stick to your guns and smile nicely. They will realise that your doing what's best and you never know you could end up causing a ban against smoking in your family. Enjoy.

Answer 3

I'm a smoker (with kids) too and I tend to ignore advice that comes off "preachy". I don't smoke in my house or my car, and I refuse to smoke in a crowd. I accept the expense both financial and medical for own my habit but I feel like I have no right to impose on those who were smart enough to not smoke.
I used to smoke in my house - heavily. That all ended when my youngest daughter came home from school and said "mommy, you're smoking killing me." Heh - gotta love that extremist anti-drug campaign that the schools have adopted. She was right though.
You might have to bite the bullet on this one and just say it. Explain that it's BECAUSE you care so much for your nieces and nephew, you are willing to risk the wrath of a scorned sister-in-law (and I know that can get ugly) to make sure that those kids have a clean healthy living space.
Good luck to you! :)

Answer 4

I can't imagine she doesn't already know unless she's been living in a cave for the last decade or two. What you might want to do is tell her you were reading an article online about second hand smoke causing the sort of problems you are talking about in your nieces and nephew. I'm sure you can find one you might even want to print it out for her and leave it.
http://www.entnet.org/healthinfo/tobacco/secondhand_smoke.cfm

Answer 5

When I sold my last house, the real estate man said, this is a beautiful house. But it stinks of cigs.
Will never smoke in the house again.
In October purchased a new car. At the trade, they even ask do you smoke in the car. Same as above never again.

So your sister must be made aware of what she is doing. She really has to make a decision like me to stop.

Answer 6

HTH

http://www.lungusa.org/site/pp.asp?c=dvLUK9O0E&b=44352

Answer 7

"Sis, I know it's none of my business, and I can't tell you not to smoke; I would however like to SUGGEST since your child is on breathing treatments and all of your children suffer from upper respiratory infections quite frequently that you try going outside for your cancer sticks. Don't get pissed, it's just a suggestion; I love them, too even if it's not the same love as a mother gives to her children......."

Answer 8

I wish I had an easy answer for you. But people who smoke inside their houses have stinky dirty houses that reek of that old smoke smell. I think they get immune to it and don't even notice it anymore.
Maybe you could get her this book and give it to her anonymously: The Easy Way to Quit by Allen Carr. It helped me quit painlessly!

Answer 9

In the current anti- smoking climate, you may be able to have a quiet word, with their Doctor.
Done gently, in the right way, he or she, may agree to solve this problem for you, without mentioning that you are involved.

Answer 10

You are very right that she should stop smoking in the house, but it isn't your place to tell her. The better route would be to bring it up with her husband, and let him work it out with her.