Euthanasia?

Question

Alright, I even hate asking this, or thinking about it, but I have a dog nearing her time here with me & I know there is nothing more I can do for her,or any vet for that matter. It is just breaking my heart. As I sit here I am about in tears. I have only had to do this one other time, but he was my daughter's dog.Kind of like my own though since they lived in my home & I provided for him.This may sound like a stupid question, but can you tell me how can I lessen the pain I have to endure when I decide to take that last trip to the vet with her? Of course I will stay by her side through the proceedure no matter how bad it will break my heart. Thank you all so much for any answers.

I personally want to thank each & everyone of you. How can I ever chose a best answer? As I read all the answers I had to stop quite frequently to wipe the tears from my eyes so I could see the words of so much concern & support. I did call my vet to see if she'll come to the house & she is to call me back with an answer. I hate driveing Desire there since she hates the car & the vet.To answer a question, yes I have done all I can for her. It's her heart & has been on medication for about 9 months. I even took her to a heart specialist.On top of the heart condition I am also told she has Wobblers Disease. I can see her going down hill daily, but I pamper her, baby her & she still will play a little with the other dogs, but I also realize the end is near. My husband said he can't bear to do it so I know I will be the one. I will, no matter how much it hurts me because I love her so!!! Again, I thank each & everyone of you & appreciate your time & thoughts!!!

DJL: The poem is as beautiful as Duchess. She looks identical to my Dobie girl Desire. Thank you for sharing it with me.

FYI: My vet called me back today & said she normally doesn't make house calls but she will. Thank God. At least my girl will not be all stressed out going to the vet. She's always hated riding in a vehicle&the vet. I told the vet I will call her when I feel it is time for me to let her move on to Rainbow Bridge with her mate,Snoop. I will NOT let her suffer. Thank you all again. See there are real good people on YA no matter what others may think/say.

Answer 1

you lessen the pain by being positive you are doing it at the right time. When I put down Dude, my rule was I'd do it when his tail stopped wagging. Even though he was in pain, for a good two years his tail was still wagging, meaning he still enjoyed life and it was wrong to take it away from him. When his tail stopped (or rather his butt-he was a Rott) then I knew he was ready to go,and that eased the burden tremendously. My eyes are watering now 6 months later, but only fond memories, no doubt that it was the right time, or that he was betrayed in any way.

He suffered a lot in the meantime,but his tail was wagging, so I don't think he minded. He made the call as to when, we just facilitated it.

Oh, and last of all, don't you dare be selfish enough to be sad and cry before she's gone. She lived to make you happy, and to see you sad as her last memory is totally out of line. You hold back your tears, smile, and think happy thoughts until it's over. You owe it to her to make her last days good ones, crying over her is the very last thing she wants.

Bring a friend with you if your husband won't go, even if they just wait in the car to drive you home, it will help to have someone to cry to.

Dude knew he was going to the vet, and always hated it also. This time, he didn't mind. He knew why he was there, and did not hesitate this time. He went in bravely, unafraid to go to the other side. I am still trying to decide if there is a lesson in his comfort in facing death and letting go of life, maybe I won't know until its my time to go. I'm sure I'll think of him even then. Maybe remembering his peace in facing the end will help comfort me one last time long after he's passed on.

Also, tell your friends your comfortable crying in front of who have dogs, that when you have to do this, to bring their dogs by no matter how sad you are or how much you say no at that time. Reopening that wound and petting their dogs will bring it back, and help you heal inside. I can rarely pet another dog without thinking of Dude, but now its always happy thoughts except when I answer a question like this.

Answer 2

I do not think you can lessen the pain after all the pain is the price we pay for love.

I am sorry about your dog. When I had my last dobie, Killian, done I cried for days. I still do at times. He was only 5 and had cancer. It was sad to loose him so young but I would have been just as bad off if he was 10 or more. No matter how long they are with us it seems to never be long enough.

I hope that your heart will heal quickly. Take time for yourself and do what ever you need to do no matter what anyone else says. Grief is a very personal process and different for each of us. I think animals are harder as the love they have given is unconditional.

Answer 3

First of all let me say how sorry I am you have to make this choice. I have done it 3 times and it never gets any easier.

If you and your vet have spoken and for sure there is nothing else that can be done however much you are tempted to take those few extra weeks trust me on this for your dog's sake don;t do it.

With my Missy (dog) I was encouraged to keep doing fluid treatments over and over again as I was told that if we kept doing it she could have up to 2 more quality years. It was costing a fortune, but even if I had to remortgage my house we would have done it.

Now when I look back yes we had those 2 1/2 months, but Missy had 2 1/2 months of suffering. I was thinking more of me and not her.

One morning after being up all night with her I looked in her eyes and kew not only was it time it was past time. I still hate myself for letting her suffer.

Ever since then with the love and guidence of a new vet who cares more about the animals than money once he knows there is nothing more we can do he tells us to let the animal tell us when it's time. Trust me looking in their eyes you really can tell when it's time for them.

I hope your vet is as good as my new one. They aren't supposed to tell you it's time in such words, but read between the lines. Between him and your dog you will be able to tell.

One thing I will advise is from today start taking loads of pictures. Try and make some more special memories before it's "time." These will live with you always.

I know your heart is breaking. It will even more when the time comes, but as responsible pet owners we must take the pain rather than letting them suffer. Sooner is better for them. They should never suffer when there is no need.

I'm so glad you will stay with her. She would never leave you in your time of need. She will never need you more than at that moment. It's her right for yours, the face she loves the most to be the last she will see on this earth.

I type this with tears streaming down my face. I feel your pain.

God be with you and your precious dog.

I'm so very sorry.

Answer 4

I wish I could tell you there was a magic way to lessen the pain, but as an obviously kind and compassionate person there is no way to keep your heart from hurting.

I have been through this procedure dozens of times (I have had as many as 13 dogs at 1 time-dogs people would dump off near my horse ranch-and I have more then 30 horses) it never gets any easier. Nor would I want it to. I hope that makes sense. What I am trying to say that when you love someone it is going to wrench your heart out to make this kind of decision.

The only peace you can have is that you are acting out of love and kindness.

You will know when the time is right.

I do not know what area you live in, but I am fortunate that I have a vet practice (and there are other mobile vet practice) that will come to my home to put my pet to sleep. I have been able to do this where I had an older pet that has a disease (like cancer or kidney failure) where you were going day by day to see how they did. Obviously in a crisis I rushed my pets to the veterinarian.

I am really sorry that you are at a time where you have to face this difficult decision.

I think this quote sums up how we animal lovers feel when faced with this time

We who choose to surround ourselves with lives even more temporary than our own live within a fragile circle, easily and often breached. Unable to accept its awful gaps, we still would live no other way. We cherish memory as the only certain immortality, never fully understanding the necessary plan....
"The Once Again Prince," Separate Lifetimes, by Irving Townsend

PS- My "heartdog" was a Doberman, she has been gone 11 years and I miss her every day still. I wrote a poem for her that is up on the web.

http://www.in-memory-of-pets.com/personaltribute.php?ID=953

Answer 5

Oh Dobie...NOT a stupid question! I am SO very sorry! My heart breaks for you. I, (as I know you do), love my dogs so much. Like my children, they have given me, joy, sorrow, love, pain, happiness, worry, sleepless nights, playful days, and gray hairs. Losing your much loved dog rates up there with losing other family members, because she IS a family member. I have lost two of mine over the years, and it was very hard. I also have been pondering the same question (which now brought tears to my eyes). I have decided to treat her emminant loss as I would a "human" relatives loss. I will stay by her side till the end, I will constantly tell her how much I love her, caress her, and kiss her and cry my heart out when the dreaded moment finally arrives. I will then hug and kiss her goodbye, request that she be cremated, keep her collar, go home (please get someone to drive you) and keep crying. I will give myself a time to mourn her (no matter what others might think) and I will TRY my best to remember that she knew how very much I loved her, that she had a great life, that she is no longer in any pain, and that I WILL see her and be with her again. It will be one of the hardest things we have ever done in our lives, and I will also turn to my other dog for love and healing companionship. I thought about doing it at home, but I think it would stress out my other dog so I won't do that. Please know that you are doing the best for her, and PLEASE take care of yourself also!!! My thoughts will be with you, and if you've never checked it out, I've added a link to Rainbow Bridge. It's a beautiful site. My love to you and your girl.

Answer 6

Oh, darn, now you have me crying, too. I'll never forget when my Mandy's back legs went out on her. She'd finally succumbed to that hip dysplacia or whatever it's called. I was shocked to learn that the vet I'd been using for 15 years refused to make a housecall even though she cried in agony from any attempt to move her, even when I moved her just a little because she'd peed and I wanted to put her on a dry spot so I could clean the mess.

Well, they said if I loaded her in a car then I could take her in and they'd do it in the parking lot but that was NOT an option. I called every vet in the phone book until I found one that would come to my house and he was so good with her that I made him my regular vet. My parents, my brother and I all switched from the old vet to the guy who showed compassion for a poor creature in pain.

You have my deepest sympathies. I'd write more but I'm tearing up.

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OK, I've stopped crying. Let me just say that I never thought I'd find another dog that I could ever love like Mandy and, when I had to put her down, I spend 3 days crying my eyes out Then my Mom said to quit being selfish and to go to the pound to adopt a dog because they have so many great dogs that need a home and love. I did and never regretted it. When I lost that dog, too, I did the same thing again although it took a few months before I found the right dog. It was really, really hard going and looking at the many wonderful, loving creatures needing homes and stick by my decision to only get a dog from one of the breeds I'd owned before but, eventually, the right pup (not from a breed on my list but so irresistible that I had to have her) came my way. I'd wanted an older dog and a different breed but things have a way of working out in ways we hadn't forseen.

Our new pets don't "replace" the ones we lost, they supplement our other pets, and enrich our lives in their own unique ways. Oh, darn, here go the tears again...

Answer 7

You can't stop from grieving over your dog. He is your friend and your baby. I can tell you that he will not be in pain and you will make the decision to save him pain and suffering. Loving your dog means making hard decisions when the time comes because you love him more than you love yourself. No matter what hurt you will have to endure, you are giving him the last gift of avoiding hurt and suffering.

You will want your daughter to come see him and say goodbye if she can. Also make whatever arrangements you need to for the body. The vet can keep him or you can make prior arrangements to bring him home to bury. I'm so sorry.

Answer 8

Only time will lessen the pain. And at times something will pop up and you will remember. You are very lucky to have this time with your dog knowing she is soon to be put down. Even though it doesn't make it any easier, but you have this time to say goodbye to her. A few weeks ago, my little dog got sick in the morning.. ( she was 13) by evening she died at the vet hospital. It was so sudden we didn't even have a chance to say goodbye.
Use this time to be with your dog. Talk to her. When you take her to the vet let your voice she hears when they put her down. No dog should die alone in the hand of strangers.

Just remember the years she gave you and you her. Don't let her suffer. No one can say anything to ease the pain you are going through. Only time will do that. I know how you feel as a lot of people knows how you are feeling. I am just glad we can live a word that we don't let our dogs suffer. To bad we can't do that with people. Give your dogs a kiss for me.. I didn't have a chance to do that with mine and when she gets to heaven you tell her to find a Shih Tzu name China and tell her mommy loves her and thinks about her every day.

To everyone.. lets not have thumbs up or down on this question..Everyone knows how she feels..right now all she needs is support.

*****adding this to your add on****

If these answers makes you feel better then All answer are the best answer. I really don't think there is a wrong answer here. ((((((((((((((((((((((((((( hugs to you ))))))))))))))))))

Answer 9

I don't think there is anyway to lesson the pain of losing one of our 4 legged family members. Time really does heal all wounds though and you already know you are doing this FOR her not TO her so that will ease your mind as you begin to heal. Finding someone to talk to who understands the loss of a pet is helpful. Make a memorial for him by planting a new garden or a tree.
I agree with the first poster that trying to find someone to come to your home to help her to the bridge is very helpful. We have had to put 2 dogs to sleep and my vet came here This way we felt the dogs really went in peace and they weren't scared. The ride to the vets office would have killed me and I did not want other people looking at us. We sat with our dog quietly and our vet was great.
If you do have to do this at the vets office, I suggest you pay for this service when you go in so that you don't have to stand there and pay a bill afterwards. I once had to put a puppy down for Megaesophagus at 4 weeks of age and I made sure that all of it was taken care of before I went in so I could just walk out. I was a mess.
My heart goes out to you as you go through all of this and as you begin to heal.

Answer 10

How do you minimize the pain when you lose someone (a person or a pet) you love? I think the answer is...you can't.
When I recently had my old dog put to sleep, my vet told me that this is the last, best gift I could give him, and I know in my heart it was. Look beyond your hurt. Your dog trusts you to do what is best for her. If she's suffering, let her go.