My husband of 9 years was diagnosed by his doctor/ sister five months ago as type 2 diabetic. My husband took great pride in his health. Ever since, he has changed. His blood sugar is under control with medicine but it's taken it's toll on him mentally. His sister and I have been sworn to secrecy about this and I am at my wit's end on what to do. For ex: he was off yesterday but had diarreah all day so he more or less laid around and slept all evening until we went to bed. This disease has changed our way of life so tremendously and I have tried to talk to him and support him no matter what but I can't get through to him. He seems to stay depressed but no way will he see a doctor other than his sister, nor will he take any more medicine except for diabetes. He won't open up and talk. He is only 41 but his feet hurt all the time. He did open up once and said Do you know what it's like talking about ED with your sister? What can I do to get him out of his funk before it kills my marriage
2007-05-15 02:54:56 · 10 answers · asked by Catlover 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Diabetes
I know exactly what you're going through. I have a friend whose husband acted the same way. I think a lot of it is due to the medicine that controls the blood sugar. This person also underwent a personality change, from a happy-go-lucky and jolly sort, to a sullen and morose individual, also subject to outbursts of anger. He also suffered from ED, which made him even more depressed. I have a hunch that the same thing is happening with your husband. Let him know that his symptoms are typical of the medications he's taking, and see if he can't get on something else. There are many different types of diabetic medication. When my friend's husband had to go on insulin instead of the pills, his temperament improved dramatically. I'm not saying insulin is the answer for your husband; just a change of medication might work wonders.
The other thing is that ED really affects a man's self-image and makes him feel less manly. This is a sensitive issue, and if you can possibly get him to a urologist, there are lots of aids that can alleviate ED and make him feel like his old self. He shouldn't let pride make him suffer in silence.
A final word: Diabetes is a terrible disease because first of all, it doesn't have any symptoms in itself. But left untreated over a period of time can lead to some dreadful, life-threatening complications such as heart disease, stroke, kidney failure, blindness and amputations. Therefore, it is essential to keep the blood sugar under control, no matter what it takes. But if one medicine doesn't agree, there are others. Sometimes takes a little experimenting to find one that is more compatible. Also, diabetes has to be monitored, and he should check his blood sugar frequently. You probably know all this, but it's just a reminder.
Good luck, my dear. Try to get him to talk about his problems. There is help available, but he has to cooperate with his sister who is a doctor. It should be easier to open up with her than it would be to a doctor he doesn't know -- or maybe vice-versa. Sometimes that works the opposite way. Good luck and God bless!
2007-05-15 03:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
My sister has diabetes as well. It's really important that the person is eating healthily and EXERCISES. It's not all about taking pills, per se. The person really has to adjust their lifestyle. It starts with little steps, and he needs to know that in order to get out of his depression, he's got to take the first few steps in getting his health back. All is not lost. Diabetes is not life threatening if the person who has it is proactive about doing something about it.
Maybe he needs to know this? Also, have you thought of getting him literature about how to take care of yourself when you have diabetes -- i.e. - maybe there's a book on it, so that he can read up on it. Knowledge can give a person power and confidence. Maybe that's what he needs.
Don't expect things to change dramatically, it takes time. So be patient and supportive and take care of yourself too. Try to be empathetic and understanding.
IT'S NOT LIFE THREATENING IF HE'S PROACTIVE.
2007-05-15 10:05:14 · answer #2 · answered by Jenna C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well of course you know he needs to have his depression treated. If he will only see his sister maybe she should simply bring up his concerns without him even saying what they are. Be ready with the prescriptions and the number of a support group. He will continue to feel sorry for himself as long as everyone around him does the same. Diabetes and ED are not death sentences and he needs to realize that. He should also realize he is not the only one effected here. If everyone continues to tip toe around him and feel sorry for him he has no need to fight for his life back. Every one needs to be strong, give him the tools and as hard as it will be go about your business, do, don't pity him. Good luck and God bless.
2007-05-15 10:04:03 · answer #3 · answered by emtd65 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to his sister. She can be very tactful in saying something. She does this all day at work. She can simply say you don't seem like yourself, whats going on. She can gently guide him and maybe able to get him to talk to her. If not she can bring up the subject of taking an antidepressant for a while. But since sh'e a doc she will know how to handle this without bringing you into the picture.
2007-05-15 10:02:23 · answer #4 · answered by sweet sue 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is depressed. All men wrap themselves up so much in their private parts that it is not only embarrassing but also emasculating for ED to happen. He needs to talk to his doctor. I imagine that if he gets his health under control the ED will get better.
2007-05-15 10:01:14 · answer #5 · answered by Colette B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People can live a very healthy existence with well treated diabetes. Its a common ailment and many people lead very normal lives.
I think the initial shock got him but now you should tell him that there are people alot sicker than him out there who dont mope around all day .
I live in Africa and we have one in seven of the population with or carrying aids or hepititus, and they get on with their daily lives.
2007-05-15 10:01:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been there and I spoke with my dr there is a medication called cymbalta that helps with neuropothy im sure you have seen the commercials on tv. they call it an anti depressant but my endocronologists gave it to me for my neuropothy and it workds great. Hey one of the known issues of diabetics is depression can you blame us. everything that everyone else uses to treat themselves we cant have. we didnt ask for this but God chose us as special people so dont kill your marriage just check on that and see if we can bring life back to you all
2007-05-15 16:14:33 · answer #7 · answered by spredhatter53 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you need for him to see a diff dr, not because that his sis might not be a good dr i'm sure she is but because she is his sis, i think a dr, probably a man would be easier for him to talk and he and he would be more comfortable with if it were one of my siblings i wouldn't want to tell them some gross things about my health and maybe a diff dr could suggest something to get him through his depression, he can live with this my dad and bro both have for years and my dad is pretty old
2007-05-15 10:38:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This group can help:
http://www.dbsalliance.com
http://www.feelinggood.com
2007-05-15 09:58:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get some HELP!
2007-05-15 09:57:44 · answer #10 · answered by james 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋