My boyfriend of over two years and I are only able to see each other Friday and Saturday because of our inflexible schedules. I'm completely fine with this and I always look forward to the weekend. My boyfriend has been fine with this arrangement, but recently he's been acting like he'd rather be doing other things. Since school is coming to an end and his friends are coming home from college, he started to complain. He doesn't like that we have a "set time" to hang out. This always seems to happen in the summer. It seems like his friends come home from college and he neglects me.
Next weekend, his friend (that's a girl) is coming home from college and she "MUST SEE HIM!" He told me today that he was planning on hanging out with her and his friends next Friday. He feels like he can't tell me these things because I'll get upset at him and overreact. Am I overacting? Is it wrong of me to get upset that he'd rather hang out with his friends than me on 1 of the 2 days we have together?
2007-05-12 19:35:18 · 21 answers · asked by Creme de la Creme 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, its not wrong that you feel this way since the weekends are the only itme you see each other. If seems to always neglet you in the summer; then may you should find someone else. Someone who will be there for you. I'm sure he can find a way to see his FRIEND during the week, and keep the weekends for you.
2007-05-12 19:44:17 · answer #1 · answered by cyran 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chrisco.... made a good point. Its best to give people space *before they need it*. If you let them reach the point where they're trying to get away from you, the damage is done (but not necessarily permanent).
I am like your BF in that I luv my autonomy--the ability to be spontaneous and not have to consult anyone before I go do what I want to do. Also, "set times" can be frusterating because by the time that "set time" rolls around, I could be more interested in being alone or napping. HOWEVER, even a semi-selfish person like me can STILL chill with my main guy for one or two days, especially if its all we've got. If there's a girl around that he "must see" with his friends and you're not invited...........don't believe him when he says its nothing. And remember that people will always do the thing that they *want* to do. Take a hard look at his actions...not his words...and you will see where his heart lies.
Of course you're not wrong or overreacting in this situation. 1 or 2 days isn't too much to ask when its all you have. You have the right to know what it is he wants. Does he still want to be with you? Does he want to be with the other girl? Does he want to be single again and play the field? Tell him you sense that he is starting to pursue other interests, that you sense that his heart is no longer invested primarily in you. Let him know that no matter what he choses, you'll survive...but that you must know what its going to be. It isn't right for him to keep you safely on hold while he goes skirt-chasing.
2007-05-12 20:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by YearoftheRat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what its like to only be able to spend 1 or 2 days a week with ur guy... but I wouldnt worry about it, guys are like that, when they realize how much time they are spending with u ( doesnt matter the amount, if they think its lots, then its lots) they back off cuz they could be scared, or mabey he doesnt really get to hang with his budds after all he does go see u every weekend, and how much fun is it to get drunk on a tuesday?
2007-05-12 19:44:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you take the summer to get to know his friends? You can really get to know someone by the friends they keep. If he is serious about you then don't worry about it. Perhaps your b/f's friend who is a girl has some good news, maybe she's engaged? Who knows, you really can't assume the worst if you are to trust him.
But, yeah, why not get to know his friends? Have them over for a BBQ or something... that is one way to bring you up in his books be being inclusive.
Cheers!
2007-05-12 19:43:48 · answer #4 · answered by Skipping Rock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't get upset. you've already figured out that it is Summer phenomena. So cut him some slack, he'll be back after-wards. But let him know that you're cutting him some slack and he needs to make up for it.
He is just excited to get back he old friends. If you show restrain and can calm you self, he would like to take along with you i future.
2007-05-12 19:56:13 · answer #5 · answered by Sean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hanging out with the person you love should sometimes feel spontaneous and not so much as a routine. Seems like he seeks a little adventure. Give him one.
2007-05-12 19:40:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you hang out with him and his friends? And on the flip side why can't he go a week or two without seeing you? It sounds like you are both selfish.
2007-05-12 19:39:39 · answer #7 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perhaps you should relax a little and try not to worry so much. perhaps you could sugest that you could all spend time together that way you get to see your boyfriend and he is still spending time with his college friends as well..compramise alittle if he doesnt agree then you might want to rethink your relationship. hope this helps you out...good luck
2007-05-12 19:44:49 · answer #8 · answered by winters_wildfire 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are over reacting he can't make you his whole world and you can't make him yours some times you need to bring others in an that will make the time you do get to be together better let him see his friends and that girl she is his friend he choose you for his girlfriend have some faith and trust good luck on this i would hate to see you lose this guy because you held on to him to tightly trust me it happens
2007-05-12 19:41:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell, no! You are not overreacting. Next Satuday tell him you're busy with an old girlfriend. That'll teach him. i say , lose this dude. Why couldn't you join him and this girl he HAS to see?! If it were me, I would move on to someone who will treat me right.
2007-05-12 19:43:05 · answer #10 · answered by LadyLynn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋