i dont know what to do??

Question

ok i am a 17 yr old mexican female and i am 6 weeks pregnant ...the baby of my father is black..my family is against me having this baby and every one is so mad at me and tellin me what do do with my life! they say i should have a abortion at first i had no problem with it...then i thout about it and if i go thru with this i will never forgive myself my moms mom *grama* dont even want to talk to me and me and her have such a great bond it hurts me so bad she would ignore me like this i was her baby until now and im goin to graduate this year so i got my school done but dang is it that serious i want to have this baby?? i kno im not ready but i dont want to make the biggest mistake of my life and the baby father wants to be there he just got out the army and has a job and is a real koo guy.... but everybody put him down cause hes black what should i do ...go with what my heart tells me or listen to my family so i will be exepted by them im so confused

Answer 1

You have to live with yourself before you can live with anyone else.

If your family truly "loves you", they'll get over your decisions.
If not......

Don't compromise what you believe for the sake of others...
It's the road to hell.

If you're really not ready to be a mom, adoption is an option.


Good luck

Answer 2

well hun having a baby inside of you is a bond that no one can understand except you & your baby. Your are technically 1 & the same for a long time that explains why you dont want have an abortion.

But you have to remeber that there are other options out there too.
1.You can keep the baby if you trust that the dad will be there for you & it & that you can take care of it & be able to raise it on your own. This would be the hardest option I am sure but remeber many women have done it even younger then you.
2. You can have the child & give it up for adoption. It can be an open adoption where you get to see it when you want & it will know that it was adopted. You dont have to lose complet touch or you can. Either way you will know that your child is going into a good home with people who can & will take good care of him.
3. You can cave & get an abortion like your family wants but this will have a lot of long term affects on you mentally.

Just remeber it's your body your decision & no one can tell you waht to do. Do what you think is right. Wish you the best at this hard part of your life.

Answer 3

Mija... Dont ever second guess your heart, especially when there is a child involved! Your instincts are right on track. I had the same issue with some of my family members when I was a young girl and found out that I was pregnant with my bf child, and yes he was black. I stood my ground and EVERY member of my family adores ALL 6 of my half black children! They are well adjusted members of their schools and after school events. I am a very proud parent and I am pro-choice as well. I almost had an abortion, but I had very vivid dream the night before my appt. for it. My daughter was asking me what she had done to me for me wanting to do this? Keep in mind, I was only 8 weeks pregnant. She is 15 now and a shining example of a strong mixed race, confident young woman! Follow your heart mija! Please email me if you need any support!!! My heart is with you.

Answer 4

hi...
Im a teen mom too....i have a two year old and im also 17....... i noe how u feel.... you feel alone.... i was in the same situation. My parents didnt tell me to abort but, mai skOoL cOunslers did. i obviously refused, but im here to give u sum advice:

I've met a lot of gurlz in ur situation and theyve all found a resolution.

Abortion. Follow your heart. If YOU dont want to abort, then dont do it! No one is responsible for your body except YOU. Dont let other people make the decision for you. and anyways you will turn 18 soon.

if your parents dont want you around because of your issue there are group homes you can live in temporarly. If you live in California, you can file for section 8(welfare) and when your 18 they will pay for your apartment (group homes are free).

If you do live in California then you will be happy to know that there are actually schools for pregnant and parenting teens! i went to one and they are very helpful. Im not really sure if they have some in other states but you can find them online on ur county office of education.

About your family issues. Try going to your nearest self-sufficiency center, they can help with counsling. Go to your counsler.Unlike mai counsler, they can talk to your parents or help you find some solutions. Or if there are family memebers who support you and your decisions, ask them for support with your parents.

For some parents, this is just new. they cant handle it. give them time and space and show them that your babys dad is a good guy. tell his family to also help.

if you have any questions you can e-mail me at:
[e-mail]

Remember, if you decide to have your baby or not, WHEN A DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER ONE OPENS.

Answer 5

Hun, take a deep breath. Then calmly no yelling ok, all a family meeting with your man there. Tell them It's too late to turn back the hands of time. Say I'm having this baby and my man (say his name), wants to be there to support the us. Tell them to be proud of you for making the effort to graduate cause most people in your situation drop out. Tell them you need their love and support now more than ever. Hun it takes a village to raise a child and I know mexicans are family oriented. Your man need to step in and tell your family how he plans to support you both. And he need to explain how he sincerely feels about you. And if you both truly do love each other then there should be the option to move in together if your financially stable enough to do so. Your family dont have to love and accept him but they do have to respect him for the sake of this child. Because you all will have to connect and work together at times. You dont need any added stress and I hope his family is also supportive. I know it's early but I want you to know that there are online colleges. Tell them you are keeping your options open and that you love him and them and how you truly hope everyone can get along. Good Luck sweety.

Answer 6

oh thats a serious problem...well i dont think u should have an abortion. even though your young, but dont, you'll feel really bad through out your life...if the father of your child is cool. then that should be no problem. yea ur mom and them are mad but they'll get over it soon or later...keep the baby!
good luck

Answer 7

without making this into a pro life pro choice issue, it's really up to what you believe is right. You are the one who will have to live with the decision. while your family has the right to an opinion as it will ultimately effect them, they can only have so much say, before it boils down to what you want. certainly the decision should have nothing to do with race but with ability, desire and character. while all of this may seem cliche, its been said so many times because its true.

Answer 8

If you truly are in love with the father (and I don't think you are) then have his baby and marry him. But if you're so confused, get an abortion and move on to college and don't worry about what ANYONE says. It's your life, and you have plenty of time to have a family.

Answer 9

Keep the baby..
It does'nt matter what other people say.. You know in you heart your right. And the babys father
wants to be involved so its ok.. you won't be on your own. And also in time your family will come
to realise their in the wrong & will support you.
I hope it all goes ok. The best of luck x

Answer 10

you can only do what you think is right, i dont agree with abortion so im with you there but the other stuff man thats tuff, go with your heart honey you know whats right, and if the baby daddy is cool and in the army and stuff and wants you and baby then there you go, he can help good luck......