My boyfriend and I plan to get married soon. But we are of different religions?

Question

We sometimes disagree on some issues related to the differences in our faith. I worry that it will be difficult to deal with when we are already married. I also worry about my future family. How then could we go to two different churches every Sunday? What would become of our children? Im sorry if i sound too serious. I just need some pieces of advise. By the way, i totally love this guy and my family likes him too. It's just that we have too little in common when it comes to our respective faiths.

Answer 1

As long as your faiths embrace good morals I don't think you will have a problem. If you are both of strong character, being of two differing faiths could prove to be enjoyable, maybe even compliment each other. I know of a husband and wife democrat/republican who are politically completely opposite (James Carville and Mary Matalin) and very outspoken personalities who seem to have an excellent marriage. They probably enjoy sparring with each other verbally on the political issues.

When you say you and your boyfriend are of different religions, I don't know if you are saying that one of you is a Christian and one is not....or whether you are saying you are both Christians but of different denominations. If only one of you is a Christian, you may want to heed the Biblical teaching that says, "Do not become unequally yoked with an unbeliever." In that case, you each would be walking paths that lead away from each other rather than in the same direction which should be towards Christ. If one of you is Catholic and the other is of another Christian denomination, you both would still be walking in the same direction which is towards Christ, but you would simply be going about it two different ways. So, I would think that would work out fine.

Good luck! I hope this was helpful. I will remember you in my prayers.

Answer 2

This is a little complicated, and hard to answer because you didn't specify your religions. For example, if you have a Catholic wedding, you are committing to raise your children as Catholics.

My Father was catholic and my mother was anglican, but I was raised a catholic.

To solve this problem you should go and talk to the priest of each religion to ask what the religious responsibilities are. Having done that, you find one religion to be intolerant, and that may be the religion to drop. On the other hand, both religions are likely to be open and accomodating because this will be a common issue, especially in Christian circles where the Christian community is now very multi-faith.

After all, Jesus warned against the issue of following rules too closely and that the essence of the faith he preached was one of tolerance and being a good person from your heart, not from a set of rules.

Anyway, marriage is based upon the ability to work together and compromise. You have to do it, or don't bother getting married.

Answer 3

you will at some point need to decide where to send your children though when they reach a certain age they should be able to choose. If both of you go to different churches, that isn't an issue. As for holding different ideas about certain issues, just agree to disagree.

For your children, look for the common grounds that your two religions share and teach them that. Don't worry about the differences until they reach an age when they can understand and handle differences. remember that they will eventually need to make a decision about faith by themselves, and you can only show them that they must hold to an ethical code no matter what.

Answer 4

The issue of your children's religion will solve itself. Take them to both churches and let them decide which one they want when they are old enough. Thousands of people do it this way and it works. A double dose of church on Sunday isn't bad for anyone. Like they say "If it don't kill you then its not bad for you." Besides, there is no guarantee that they will even want to be a part of any organized religion when they become adults. If your soon to-be husband can't can't see or accept the logic in the above and agree to compromise I'm afraid you might be headed toward other problems in your marriage.

Answer 5

Not a good idea to get married. Anything that is wrong now will be 10 times worse after marraige. If you are both strong in your beliefs you will not want your children learning anything else other than what you believe is right. I won't work. I have been there and done that. You will probably go ahead and marry anyway because that is what we do. We all have to learn the hard way. It will last a few years and then crumble. Sorry.

Answer 6

Don't let religious differences be an issue and if church is important you may want to see if theres a Unitarian Universalist church in your area. Unitarian Universalists include people who identify as Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Pagans, Atheists, Agnostics, Humanists, and others. Instead of centering religion on specific beliefs, they gather around shared moral values that include the inherent worth and dignity of every person. Most UU churches have regular worship services facilitated by ordained ministers, religious education classes for children, music, community work, study groups, etc...

Answer 7

the only valid reason i will think of of for delaying assembly you for the 1st time is that visas from western united states of america's into Iran could be complicated to technique on the 2nd pondering the political tensions. if so, then i might think of your boyfriend might provide that as a rationalization for suspending the trip on your united states of america. by the way, it quite is no longer disrespectful to ask a guy too many questions if he's offering to be your destiny husband. And if he does not provide you quickly solutions, you have a desirable to be suspicious. on the grounds which you're 20 now and he stated he needs to attend until eventually you're 21; (for in spite of reason) tell him he could come the week of your birthday to fulfill you individually for the 1st time and your loved ones. although, If I have been you and that i had some money stored up, i might manage a marvel by vacationing to the united kingdom to fulfill him first. Surprises can convey forth incredibly some interesting information.

Answer 8

You should definitely discuss it before getting married. Just picture yourself fighting over this in front of your children!

If one of you is less religious than the other, or if these are minor difference than maybe it wont be an issue

When you say going to different churches , what are you doing already?

Are you going each to your own church or do you take turns?

All faiths (most of them) have good things to offer. It does not have to be an either or not

Answer 9

although you don't mention the specific religions, i do know that as a christian being married to an unbeliever can be one of the most difficult challenges in a christian's life. marriage is a sacred covenant that joins two people together into one flesh. it isn't possible for a believer and an unbeliever to live in peaceful harmony [see 2 corinthians 6:14-15]. if one partner becomes a christian after the marriage, the struggles that come from living under two different "authorities" become very apparent. best wishes.

Answer 10

Marriage is hard even when two people are of the same religion. You must figure all this out before you marry so you can agree on all the important issues. The divorce rate is high so you need to pray over this issue.

Answer 11

There are several ways to solve your problem. We had four such cases in my family. Here is what the couples did:

(1) One couple decided to retain their individual spiritualities and NOT go to any church. Worked out great so far (30 years married)

(2) The girl in one couple changed from Catholic to Protestant.
Worked out well as she is much loved in her new chirch.

(3) One couple joined a popular no-denominational church nearby
Since they all paid homage to the same God it worked out great (25 years)

(4) One couple, the girl kept on going to her Catholic church until the priest was arrested for diddling choirboys.Now she doesn't go anymore but misses the mass she says.

I just looked up the names of some non-denominational churches. I stopped after counting 250 different churches around the country. Since they all pay homage to our ONE GOD I'm sure I would be happy to associate myself with one after visiting several.