With all the cheating and extramarital affairs going on, I want to be sure my bf feels free to tell me about all relationships he has with other women. He had one one serious relationship before me, he want's us to marry, but I feel he hasn't really "been there done it" with other women and I'm afraid that one day he will "discover" women and leave me. (forbidden fruit syndrome) I told him it's OK if he wants to sleep with other women so long as he lets me know. He got upset and said that if I loved him I wouldn't suggest that and that being with another women my cause him to stray from me. If he hasn't been with other women how's he know im the 1? Do you think it's risky to marry a man with so little "experiance." Or is it riskier to let him have other women too? I love him deeply and don't want to loose him. Am I just paranoid? Help, PLEASE.
2007-05-12 19:05:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No.
You have a guy who's interested in you, just you, and you want to screw that up?
I'm really confused!
You say you wouldn't mind if he slept around, do you, do you want to?
Sounds like to me you don't deserve him.
2007-05-12 19:08:17 · answer #1 · answered by spam_free_he_he 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I agree with your boyfriend that you shouldn't have suggested that. If you are suggesting it to him then he is probably thinking that you really want that for yourself too. I don't think that the number of relationships that you have had before can make or break the one you are in now. If you love eachother and take your time, and are always honest with eachother then you will have a successful relationship.
I was going to marry a girl (engaged, church booked, etc) but I let her go because I thought that she and I both didn't have enough experience with the opposite sex. Looking back it was the biggest mistake that I ever made and I can't get her back because she is happily married with a family now. Just something to think about.
2007-05-12 19:15:04 · answer #2 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are being paranoid, and it sounds also like you're not aware of your own worth. You worry that someday he'll decide you aren't enough for him, but there is so much more to a relationship than sex. If you were completely unable to have sex, would this guy still be with you? It sounds like he would, which is amazing and also a little scary. Because he's so ready to commit, it sounds like you're not 100% sure, and so you think it'll make it easier on both of you to have a few more relationships before settling with each other.
Anyway... if he wanted to be with other women, he would be. Everyone has curiosities, but not everyone feels compelled to explore all the options. You should realize that you deserve to be the only girl in his life - it sounds like he wants you to be. Don't be afraid of it, I really don't believe you'll lose him.
2007-05-13 10:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be absolutely sure about anyone you marry. You are taking a chance with who ever you do marry. Offering him other women is not the way to go. He doesn't need experience with others. A man and his wife should learn from each other and share your lives. When you marry you become one and the marriage bed should not be defiled. If he cheats on you, you have the option to divorce him and there is life after divorce. Got to live one day at a time and hope for the best.
2007-05-12 19:16:32 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a fool to allow him to have any other woman.
I agree with him for being upset and said that if you loved him, you wouldn't suggest that and that being with another women might cause him to stray from you."
No, I don't think it is risky at all to marry a man with so little "experience". Actually, it is better for you because you will not have to deal with any veneral diseases, such as AIDS, herpes, etc...
It is much riskier to let him have any other woman.
If you truly love him deeply, don't ever mention another woman to him ever again. Why? Because he is yours to keep unless you want to get rid of him.
2007-05-12 19:12:27 · answer #5 · answered by SweetBrunette 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-05 00:02:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you really shouldn't have said that. men get real confused. it's like your putting your respect down. tell him you love him and you are trying to talk about relationship stability and that your not sure how to address it and that you are wanting to make sure if when you get married this is it.. your insecurities are over marriage and your stressed out because other people get bored and upset and cheat... if you tell him you feeling this way, he will understand, instead of thinking your an ***. even cry. you'll be ok. he'll get it and then you can talk calmly.
2007-05-12 19:16:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gave him BAD advice. The more he tastes the more he will compare you to others. I have been with ONE man, my husband, so I have NO ONE to compare him to and neither do I want to. We have been married 17 years. I think you need to have another chat with your man and apologize for making a silly suggestion, and be glad for what he is. Good Luck.
2007-05-12 20:08:19 · answer #8 · answered by whattheheck 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur paranoid over sometingthat doesn't need to be worried about. a person really knows when one has found the 1. his reaction to your ridiculous suggestion that he sleep with other women should have already proved that he really loves you and thinks of no one else but you!!!
2007-05-12 19:17:33 · answer #9 · answered by Middle of the Desert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you are crazy to let him be with other woman. not only its riskier losing him...its riskier getting std.....you are reading too much to what he said..when he said you are number one......what do you want to hear?...that you are number 10? marrying a man with little experience is not less riskier than man with experience....it is how you satisfy them in bed and in the dining table that counts...you are P A R O N O I D !
2007-05-12 19:12:45 · answer #10 · answered by not_ez_2bme 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop being so insecure with yourself. He wants YOU. I know that it's 2007 and pretty much everybody is a total slut now (hahaha) but don't hold that against him. If he wanted to sleep around, that's exactly what he would be doing. He knows what he wants. Be happy that he want's YOU.
2007-05-12 19:12:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋