I have a boyfriend in prison that I have been with for a year now and my family doesn't want me to be with him but he's not a bad person he did bad things in the past but he is turning his life around now but my family thinks that I shouldn't be with him. I just wanted to get some advice.
2007-05-12 18:43:17 · 27 answers · asked by Shannon H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How do you know he is turning it around? Saying it doesnt make it happen. He has to do it. What is he doing to prove this? Is he working on improving his education while he is there? How is he spending his time there?
Until he gets out and shows he isnt going to hang around the same people and he gets a job and sticks with it and becomes a productive part of society there is no way of knowing.
Im with your parents. i wouldnt want my daughter going with a jail bird either.
2007-05-12 18:51:49 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Prison huh? Well I believe that people can turn their lives around and change. Your family has every right to react the way that they are. Is he getting out soon? Did they know him before? Just don't make any rash decisions and marry him the night he gets out of prison. If he really is a nice person then maybe he should write to your family and let them know what his intentions are and start a dialogue with them. You obviously care what they think and value their opinion (or you wouldn't be asking the millions of strangers on the internet how to change their minds). Remember also though, that parents intuition is very real and very strong and if they think that somebody isn't good for you, then a lot of times they are right.
2007-05-12 18:54:03 · answer #2 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Been there. I felt the same way you do... he isn't a bad person. However, look at the entire picture. What is he in prison for? How will it affect you in the future if you continue a relationship with him? Will his past cause problems for the both of you? I remained friends with my guy and we got back together when he was released from prison, but the opinions of family and friends has been harsh. I loved him and was willing to be there for him, but it may not be what you expect when he gets out, so have a clear mind and continue you life while he's locked up. If it is meant to be then things will work themselves out when he is released, but don't wait around and waste your life away.
2007-05-12 18:50:12 · answer #3 · answered by Jay 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Your family is right. He's a loser they don't change. They would like you to think that they have changed, but inside they're still there. The person who is in prison for doing something that he was not supposed to do. Get out while you can because he is not worth it. Nothing you will say to your friends or family members will make them change their mind. Your best bet is find someone a lot better then the guy you last chose because obviously you don't have that great of taste in men if you're going after a loser like that.
2007-05-12 18:50:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wake up men. Under Mma regulations, the Mma fighter wins. Locked in a telephone, it is any person's recreation. The jail fighter has self taught methods, or methods which have been handed to him through different inmates. Hardcore prisoners are in well form, and a few have a killing attitude, and hidden guns. There are many prisoners with martial arts backgrounds as good.
2016-09-05 18:33:02 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see your family's concern. They don't want you to get hurt. Nothing will mess up your life more than being with a guy who is messed up.
A lot of people say they'll change while they're in prison. They may even mean it. Once they get out and the old temptations are around, they often forget what they said when they were in jail.
I can understand a woman staying with a guy when he goes to prison, if they've been together for a long time. I can't see a young woman starting out with a guy who is in trouble. That's just setting yourself up. Don't you deserve someone who already has his act together? Are you afraid that this guy is all you can get? Are you wanting to stay with him to prove that you're loyal? Do you think that you can change him?
You don't know who else is out there. There may be some guy who doesn't have so many problems and he's just around the corner... he's still living somewhere else and you're not going to meet him for another six months or a year. You don't know. Stay single for now and keep your options open.
The idea of changing a man rarely works. People only change when THEY want to.
I think the whole loyalty thing of staying with a loser is promoted by Hollywood with movies, etc. Bad boys are romanticized. In real life, bad boys are trouble and misery for the women who love them. Staying with a bad boy is just stupid. It may sound romantic, but it's a bad idea. Nobody romantacizes a girl looking out for herself and going for the best she can get!
Let the guy go and move on. If he does straighten himself out he can contact you later. If he doesn't respect you for looking out for yourself, too bad. It would probably suit his purpose to have you stick by him.. makes life easier for him... but it's not in your best interest. Guys will do a lot to keep control of a girl. Guilt. Threats. Bad boys never care about what's best for the girl. They don't say, "Hey, it's gonna take me a couple of years to work out my problems. It's better for you to move on". Nope, if they were good enough to say that, they wouldn't be bad boys!
2007-05-12 18:56:45 · answer #6 · answered by Annie D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family wants what's best for you. If he is truly turning around as you say only time will tell. And it will best tell after he gets out of prison. You can maybe tell your family that you agree he was not a good influence before but you truly believe he is turning around and that you are patient enough to wait to see if he really has when he gets out. If he hasn't then it is my advice and as well as your parents that you do stop seeing him. There are plenty more "good" guys out there. I hope that he is really turning around and will stay that way and if he does then I hope you are happy but know that it will take your family a very long time for them to see it. He will have to prove it and if he does not then how can he gain their trust or yours?
2007-05-12 18:50:27 · answer #7 · answered by bssd12000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok, girl, if a person is in prison there is nothing good about that person, unless he/she works there. If he was not a bad person he woudn't get into prison in the first place. Move on girl. Don't run with the wrong crowd and ruin your life.
Your family is right, think rationally. Do you really need this?!
2007-05-12 18:57:47 · answer #8 · answered by Desert Rat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is in prison then that means he did something wrong.
Wouldnt you rather be with someone who is good & doesnt get sent to jail?
Im not telling you to leave him but just be sure if its what you want. You might end up regretting staying with him. 50% of the marriages dont work out so just imagine your relationship if you want to take it to the next level.
2007-05-12 18:47:00 · answer #9 · answered by Jasper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get someone out of prison to like. I'm with your family.
2007-05-12 18:46:41 · answer #10 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋