Having a threesome..is this a bad idea?

Question

Me and my partner both have a fantasy of having a threesome (2 women and 1 man) this is something that we both have been wanting to experience for the longest. we have known each other for 6 yrs but im afraid that this experience might ruin our relationship. he's the perfect choice bcuz i feel totally comfortable around him, but theres one problem...i have low self esteem..my body isnt in top shape and sometimes that ruins the sex we have between each other. we both want the other person to have a wonderful body (nice breast, hips, a s s and thighs) but im not sure if this is a good idea..i suggested that we wait until i build my self esteem. my biggest fear is that this woman might be better than me in bed and that he may enjoy her more than me. please give me your honest opinion and please be serious

Answer 1

I'd say it's a bad idea.

Bu ti would also say that you should get in shape if you want to keep him



M

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

I used have the same fantasy;fantasies aren't reality,if someone truly loves you they will accept you for who you are with all your flaws;having a threesome it's not the solution to the way you feel about yourself;after you are done having a threesome;your body will still be there sex it's not everything;the spiritual side of you needs to be stronger;sex it is only for the moment,you will feel guilty and really bad about yourself and you will start something that it can lead you to have even more insecurities and lower self stem.
My wife does not have a models body specially after having three children but i am in love with her and I love her and I like her body the way it is,with stretch marks,rolls,I just love her more and more everyday.
That is true love and I don't want to share her with anybody she is very special to me and I know she feels the same way about me;once you bring a third person to have sex with nothing will ever be the same;plus I believe those are perverted thoughts,remember you are a couple when people get married they tell each other how they will respect each other,you don't need to be married to have morals and respect each other.
Do you believe in God and if you do;read the bible all your answers are in there.
learn to like yourself you were created for a purpose find out what your porpoise in this life is.

Answer 4

Unless you are very secure in your relationship, a threesome is a bad idea. By the sounds of it, you would be too uptight (nervous) to enjoy any fun that play might bring, and when that happens, jealousy is sure to rear its head. Why insist on the 'other' partner being 'perfect?' That is setting you and him up for failure. If you ever decide to realize your fantasy, you need to do so because you want to, not just because you think you'd like to. There is a very big difference, but this is too short a forum (and too open) to discuss it fully. Not every fantasy is meant to be realized, sometimes they are best left fantasy.

Answer 5

Oh no...girl, if I were you, and please take this from personal experience...I went through the same thing...Although my body was in nice shape (I am in Plus Size modeling right now) I still felt my body was ugly...Well my partner and I are in a social group where couples are into that and let me tell you about the DRAMA!!!
It's not a good idea to do it if your self esteem is low...that won't be good because if she has a nicer body than yours, what makes you think your man would be turned on by you instead of her...Your man would probably enjoy making love to her than you JUST BECAUSE OF HER BODY!!! If you have self confidence, men dig that and your man may enjoy making love to you instead, but this is all your choice...
I say no for now because you're not ready...A lot of my girlfriends regret having a 3some because now their men cheat on them with better looking women and now their men don't really seem all that into their sex lives...Sex is intimate and should be shared between 2 people not 3 because feelings could get involved between your man and this other woman...Or maybe even you and this other woman...
But I wish you luck in this and this is all your decision...DON'T LET YOUR MAN TALK YOU INTO IT IF YOU'RE NOT COMFORTABLE ABOUT IT!!!

Answer 6

DO NOT DO IT!!! Been there, done that and I almost lost the love of my life. If you have low self esteem, it is going to eat you up inside. You will always wonder if she was better, if she is the one he is thinking about, if you will ever please him again. If you want to switch things up, go to an adult store either together or just you. buy some toys, some games, buy outfits, wigs and so on. Role play, blind fold him and take control, or have him blind fold you and him take control. Trust me on this, DONT HAVE A THREESOME!!!!!!! Buy a kama sutra and a cosmopolitan, and have fun. But please dont have a threesome. Like i said, I almost lost the man that I love with all my heart because of it. Its been a few months and the girl we did it with is one of my best friends, i hate thinking about it everytime i see her.

Answer 7

A threesome can be a real relationship damager, I believe your concerns need to be discussed openly with your partner and I also believe if either of you have any worries, problems, etc with the idea, then it shouldn't happen.

Answer 8

Hi Ultimate_Diva,

I wouldn't dive into it quite yet. Key word is "yet". It sounds to me like you just need to get to know yourself a little better. One of the other answerers asked why your husband would prefer to make love to you when he has a "better body" to "make love" to. I'd like to offer a response to that.

My husband and I have had experience with swinging for the past 4+ years, and we've been very successful with it. Want to know what my favorite benefit has been? Peace of mind. Finally, I KNOW what my husband will say or do when some other woman disrespects me and tries to get him to throw away my trust in him for a cheap piece of a**. Until we actually experienced this for real - not just a fire drill, but the real deal - it has given me an immense amount of confidence in myself. I started to understand why we were married in the first place. And sex has very little to do with it. Now let me just say that sex between us is fantastic. No complaints there. In fact, given the choice of any of my other partners, or anyone else out there, Mr. intuition is my #1 choice hands down. I know this, because he's allowed me compare him to others. He's confident that he's a man worth sticking with, and if I don't think so too, then it's probably just as well we go our separate ways, don't you think? I love my husband because he's a man of character and integrity, deep honesty, and he respects others as he respects himself. I have never met a better man in my 32 years. He's my knight in shining armour, and I'm head over heels in love with him.

I feel pretty good about myself, too, because I have allowed him to compare me. Why are we so afraid of being compared to other women? Are we afraid that we're not the best match for our husbands? Are we really afraid that some other woman is actually going to love him better than we can? Are we ready to trust our husbands enough with this choice? Is he a big enough boy to know a good thing when he's got one? Or does he need to be babysat and have all his decisions made for him?

This is a very big step, but I feel it's an important one that every relationship should take. Otherwise, what have we won? A lifetime with someone who has no choice but to choose us...because it's the only option he is allowed. Now, your mileage may vary, but in my own relationship, this is a bit like holding a gun to someone's head and saying, "Tell me I'm pretty!" This is a figure of speech, btw. The gun is just a metaphor for the threat of ending the relationship.

When my husband has the opportunity to experience the thrill of another woman's body - one perhaps a bit firmer or tighter than mine (not better, just different), it makes me happy. Happy in the same way that I felt when my kids ate their first ice cream cone, or felt the pride of learning to ride their bikes. The wonder of discovery is there, and I get to see that in his face. I only want a beautiful life for my husband. It does not matter to me how that happens. I realize that I will never be anything other than who/what I am and I'm very happy with that. I will NOT buy a wig to make myself blonde in the futile attempt to every woman in the world for him. I will ALWAYS be only me. And since it's me that he is in love with, since I am his "home" and his comfort, his anchor, his safe place in this world, I don't mind other women helping me to see that my husband has a full, exciting, well-savoured life. After all, the blonde, the redhead, the flat-chested, the black, the asian, the short, the very tall, the very thin, the blue-eyed...they will never be ME either. All they can hope for is my husband's company. His heart is mine, and that's good enough for me.

Please see this website for good advice and information.

Answer 9

No they have smart idea only but for people like we kr@zy we need something unique and hatke thats why their idea's looks bad to us.. take care bro.

Answer 10

threesomes are hot...but...

I would never get into a 3some with my girlfriend, just beacuse there is so much that can go wrong. I could not pay enough attention to her, or if there was a guy involved she might not pay attention to me. there is just so much that can go wrong, personally im just happy being with the person that I love, and yea I would love to experience that, but I dont know if there is enough booze arround to get me that drunk to **** up that bad :)

Answer 11

You both just have to be open about it and realize it is just sex and you have to trust each other. It works for some people and it does not work for others.