My 6-yr-old is confused about God/atheism? Need advice?

Question

Just since he went to school he has been hearing things from kids. One day he came home and asked something about god, and I said "our family doesn't believe in god". However, he comes home almost every day with more questions like "Well how did everything get here then?" etc. I know this is because he is having discussions with the other children.

Then today he said "Why don't we believe in God?" and "But I really want to, all my friends do". I simply told him we don't and that he should never believe or do something just because everyone else is. After that I was at a total loss of what to say. I feel completely unprepared. Advice? Thanks.

I can explain it; I just can't put it into words a 6-yr-old can understand

Answer 1

I am a longtime staunch atheist. My fiancee and I have also decided never to have children, so I will hopefully never have to deal with your situation. My situation would be further complicated by the fact that my better half is a christian. (The "little c" was intentional).

However, I research all aspects of Atheism on a regular basis and one of my favorite topics is how to raise atheist children. I have found a good resource at www.atheists.org as well as www.ethicalatheist.org. (see references below). The Ethical Atheist page doesn't really have any answers, but it gives several scenarios and questions that you should be prepared for. Finally, is an artical at the Web site www.atheistparents.org.

Good luck, and I really hope this goes well. I had to put up with being an atheist in the bible belt of the southeast, so I know how cruel children can be regarding religious beliefs (or lack thereor...they seem to forget that whole "compassion thing" somewhere along the line.")

For what it's worth, I also think it's important to teach children that religion is OK for some people (after all, "Religion is the opiate of the masses" --Karl Marx), but not for others.

Answer 2

I know what you mean - my child is almost 6 and asking a lot of those questions.

I've tried to be honest and explain that even though I believe in God, some people don't. It's up to each person to decide. (Okay, so we have different beliefs, but the principle will still apply.) If you think he'll understand, you could give him a brief rundown of major beliefs and explain how they're all different - Atheism (no god), Buddhism (no god but god-like figure), Christianity (one god) and Hinduism (hundreds of gods).

He will have more questions, especially at Christmas or Halloween when he realizes other kids beliefs are connected to those days, but you can use those for teaching opportunities too. I taught our little one about the origins of Halloween - and creeped her out - but explained that since we aren't Druids or anything we don't celebrate it that way, and I don't have a problem with a little candy.

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

I came across the same problem with my four year old but the question was "Mommy what is a goddess?"
Ha! I had no idea how to explain that. So I searched out a nice Unitarian Chruch. They beleive in ALL faiths, even none. She will learn about all the paths to the Gods and she can make her own choice. I personally believe faith is a very personal choice and that all options should be laid down honestly. I am a witch and my husband is athiest and we both respect that the other could always be right. I am trying to give my kids an enviornemtn in where they can ask these questions and get an honest unbiased answer. Look into a Univeralist Church. We have several athiest at out church who want a sense of community and tolerance which we certainly give. It could give your kids a place to ask questions and come up with thier own answers.

Answer 4

He's 6 years old... he's being introduced to a little thing called peer pressure.

...and kids can be cruel. If there's any demographic that can't tolerate anything besides the status quo, it's children, especially at that age.

Just pull out the old "if they all jumped off of a bridge" card. Tell your child truthfully and honestly WHY your family doesn't believe in God, and why that's PERFECTLY OKAY.

Your child is only 6... it's not like he needs to defend himself in a theological debate. Send him on his way, as he has nothing to prove to the other kids. He doesn't believe, and that's that.

If the teacher, however, seems to have the need to turn your child into a telephone operator (relaying more religious questions), then you've got a problem.

Answer 5

Take him (or have a friend take him) to church. He seems to be fairly smart and should be able to formulate a basic understanding - at least enough to ask a question. If you are not able to answer, have a Christian friend over and have them answer - you will be there to keep them from saying things like "if you don't believe in God you go to Hell"

Like you said in your question "I simply told him we don't and that he should never believe or do something just because everyone else is." That has to apply to you and atheism in general - to exclude your family from this statement is hypocritical.

I hope that I didn't offend with my answer - it was NOT my intent to do so. Your son seems like he has a real interest in knowing about God, even if it is to please his friends. I think you owe it to him, as a parent, to let him find out. He may surprise you with his choice.

Answer 6

He'll ultimately have to decide for himself. I believe the home influence is the strongest, if that makes you feel better. Just talk about whatever you think he would understand. Right now he just wants to be part of the group. I went to Vacation Bible School as a child too but I am not a Christian now.

Answer 7

I'm an atheist...if it were my child I would just let him believe if he wants to...it is something new and different from what he has been told and after the newness wears off he may just drop the whole thing...but also keep reinforcing your beliefs to him...I understand not wanting his head to be filled with nonsense, but he WILL decide for himself one day...if he hears both sides, and even sides from other religions, then HE can make an informed decision when he is older...good luck!

Answer 8

Wow, that kid is definitely firm.

In order to answer un-biased, I'd have to put the shoe on the other foot and wonder what I'd tell my kid that doesn't want to believe in God (I don't have a kid, so you have a leg-up on me).

In all honesty, I'd have to let him search out all that stuff. I'd show him all the evidence for what I believe, and I'd show him all the evidence for what he believes. I'd try to show him how the evidence for what I believe seems weightier than what he believes, and that I've had a lot more experience in life to cause me to believe all that I do.

Ultimately, I'd have to let him believe what he wants to though, as long as it didn't hurt anyone else, and he's able to completely back up what he believes. I definitely don't want my child to go to hell (as you wouldn't want your child to waste their life believing something that you don't believe is true), but it's ultimately their decision what to believe, and the best thing you can do is love them regardless.

Answer 9

Either way you try to teach him, he's 6. He's just a kid, remember that. The only way to explain to him is to tell him your beliefs, tell him they are YOUR beliefs and that he has his own choice to make when he get's older. I completely agree with the "don't do it just because everyone else is" argument. If you have good reason, then he'll understand your point of view, if nothing else.
PS - I'm Christian.
PSS - I have kids, too - you would be astounded at their ability to understand at such a young age - try him.

Answer 10

Try "I do not believe in God" and why instead of saying "Our family does not believe in God."

My parents told me that "We" believe in Jesus, and I wondered how I could believe something just because I was told that "we" believed it. I was about your son's age when that conversation happened. Explain what you believe and why and let him make up his own mind.