non-believers: question about self esteem?

Question

in a recent post, an answerer stated that persons who rejected their former sinful lives and accepted Christ as their Lord and Saviour had low self esteem

the exact quote is
"people with low self esteem are the ones where religion has a strong hold on... "

I am in no way critisizing this post. I am curious to know the opinions of non-believers in particular. Do you concur with this statement? Do you think that as a non-believer that you have high self esteem? Please explain your answers.

thank you

Hi S1LK
where did you get that statistic? I come from a church of over 100 members of which 2 are recovering adicts / alcoholics. (and yes, I do know them all :) )

ps - I haven't given any thumbs down here - 8-)

Answer 1

I think self esteem is separate from religious belief or lack thereof (despite one of the questions I asked once about this very topic toward Christians). However, I think some people aren't able to separate the two.

I do believe that those who put Christ, God, and everyone else (family, etc.) first tend to forget themselves, and that, to me, is problematic toward having a healthy level of self esteem. But nonbelievers can be this way as well with their loved ones. Some people call it selflessness and humility. I say there's a major difference.

I'm fascinated by the topic of self esteem to the point where I've been writing a book about it for a few years. As I'm not a psychology major nor do I have any formal training or education in the topic, I'm still trying to collect information.

As for your other question, as I non-believer, I have a healthy level of self esteem. I have moments where it gets unhealthy. I'm rarely conceited, but I do doubt myself at times. I find that my self image and beliefs MAY impact each other simply because I've repeatedly had to defend my agnosticism. And to defend it, I feel I need to be confident in it as a part of who I am.

Hope that makes sense. Great question!

Answer 2

Non-believers also have low self esteem, its not a religious thing. It is common that someone who searches and swaps from non-religious to religious or continuously changes religions has something missing in their lives and they are trying to fill whatever that is that is missing. Alot of people will search for one religion after another, then they get a partner and suddenly the search is over, it is natural for humans to want to be accepted and feel loved and some believe that a religion will do this for them. The chances are that the person who asked the Question which the comment was aimed at that you are referring to, still has very low self esteem but has a band aid solution for it at the moment, it will come out in some other negative way without them realising it

Answer 3

I don't think self esteem is a factor with faith. I'm not a religious person and I never noticed a lack of self esteem in religious people. The only observation about some religious people I would make is that it drives them crazy that other people don't believe in God or their religion. I would say they seem more controlling than anything else. Or that they think people that are not religious want to live immoral life styles. Which is far from the truth. By the way, I have more religious friends than non-religious ones. And, they are great.

Answer 4

I don't think that is true at all, humans can get wrapped up in and believe about anything, including all of the manmade religions and their teachings. Self esteem has little to do with it, I know plenty of religious people who appear to have very high self esteem.
Look at the Iraq invasion--the govt and our current regime convinced americans that Iraq must be attacked or they would attack us. Any sane person looking at the facts (we'd been controlling 2/3 of the country for 10 years with the no fly zones, all of the inspectors said there was nothing) yet the majority of americans all but took up arms in support of the invasion and the axis of evil crap. Now realization has come and people finally understand they were duped. That mindset is what I compare to accepting religion---frankly you can convince most people to believe anything if you do it the right way. Some of the cult victims over the years were very intelligent, outgoing people who got caught up in some zealot/crooks' teachings.

Answer 5

I disagree. Some people lead sinful lives but dont have a low self esteem. Religion can have a firm grip on those who are passionate, seekers for truth, etc. Its not about what they did or if they had a low self esteem; it holds on someone because of the way they think.

Answer 6

No Jesus is not a dumbing bag, and no you are not going to heaven if you read clearly he said he takes the sins of his followers at that time, it didn't mean time in a eternity where you can do anything than just accept and dump your sins.



That's the problem you are responsible for those actions and you will have to bear the fruits of those reactions. That's why some many people simply claim they are a follower just so they can feel justified in there actions and convince them selves that there destination will be good at the time of death. Like in day to day life you can't do anything and simply say " oh i accept that the prime minister has said i accept all the sins of my countrymen" and then go and do any activity before and after the fact and think there is no reactions.

then tell your children in that way they can be saved and dump all there sinful reactions on him because he made a one off statement at that time. That's why this manipulated following gathers some much support. GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEM SELVES. Not simply exploiting him for your own sensual gratification and good time. Heaven is not an endless Sunday after noon with the family your position with god is not simply for your own gratification, that's a perverted view its for the lord gratification your his servant not the other way round!

Answer 7

I think that low self-esteem can be caused with a higher level of religious affiliation, but isn't directly caused by that. As a member of the LDS/Mormon church, I was extremely depressed, and now, as an agnostic, I am not. There are many different explanations for that. A big one is that the LDS church expects perfection (there is a lot of cultural pressure to be perfect). You are supposed to attend all your meetings, pay your tithing, go to the temple, wear the LDS/Mormon underwear (called "garments"), volunteer for tons of things, fulfill your calling at church, , say prayers, read scriptures privately and as a family, have family home evening, participate in all the auxilary groups at church, go on a mission, get married, have kids, have your kids accomplish the aforementioned tasks and the lists goes on and on. Some of these things, if they aren't accomplished/done, you don't get to go to the temple, hence you don't get to see loved ones get married. There is just a tremendous amount of social pressure. On top of it, they segregate the single people into different congregations (called wards) so they can find somebody to marry. I didn't mind that so much, but then then there was the added pressure of finding the "right" guy (someone who had gone on a mission, and had returned home "honorably;" who could "take me to the temple;" and basically did all the other items I mentioned). So as you see all your friends and acquaintances getting hitched, some start to feel like they are not fulfilling one of the things on the "list" and are failures (the more extreme ones). On top of that, you are supposed to be happy, so if you are upset with yourself for not fulfilling any of the many various tasks, then you are also wrong for feeling dissatisfied with yourself.
So back to my original point, I think low self esteem and religion go hand in hand, but religion isn't a direct cause of self-esteem.

Answer 8

I have great self esteem, your truth is not mine and I don't harm others with what my actions. that being said, I find God to be quite beautiful in the Idea, to strive for good and love is a great thing. Human nature dictates otherwise though, too much good can become bad and the other way around. I believe in harmony, and not to harm the balance of things. I do not save the worm from the hungry bird because in doing so the bird may starve. We as human beings have great power to bend things to our will. You were brought up one way and I another, either way we should find acceptance if we do not wish to understand. we are all different and that is a beauty of life, no?

Answer 9

I think my self esteem is about average. Good days and bad days, y'know? The way I figure it, you could theoretically have low self esteem if your religion is constantly telling you that you are a sinner. I think "sin" is just a way of saying "giving in to human nature without regard for others," which IMHO is not good. Still, if you recognize it as human nature, you won't beat yourself up over it as much. I think the emphasis should be on the empathy rather than on the sin. I don't think religion is the real culprit, but mans exploitation of it.

Answer 10

I suppose it depends on your definition of nonbelievers.
Am I Chrisitan? No. It never made sense to me, and I didn't follow any of it in my heart. I found a different religion that I am perfectly at peace with. I am a withc. I find peace and Divinity in everything around me. Do I have low selfesteem? Nope. I do my best to make this world a better place for my kids and for everyone else's and if that sends me on a path to "hell" then do be it. I will have done it in good faith.
Do I think Christians have low selfesteem? Some of them yes, just like every other religion on the face of the planet. That is with in the person, not the faith. If they follow that faith out of fear intstead of true belief? Then yeah they have some issues to work out.
Self esteem has to do with who you THINK you are. If you aren't secure in that knowledge, regardless of faith, then yes you will wonder about yourself, doubt yourself. Knowing who you are and where you want to be...that is confidence. And having the faith in your SELF is what makes the difference.