I am 31 and a mom of two. He is 39 and has a kid. He says that he likes me and wants to be my friend and see if it goes somewhere. We are just friends. He obviously likes me... it is very obvious in his manner, eyes and the way he is around me. He wants to be friends because he thinks it could become more. I am not like that at all. Either you think I am worth the risk or not. At least think I am worth it enough to date me casually and take a risk. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone. I spent 6 years of my life waiting for men that I love and now believe that if it is meant to be, it will happen without anyone resenting the other for waiting around. I am not interested in having 'guys friends'. I dont' do that well. And I am not introducing my kids to single guys. So I just don't do guy friends. To me, if we are not dating, at least casual. Then you are wasting my time away from my kids. Why 'just friends'. We are ALL scared. But isn't the potential of love worth the risk?
2007-05-12 13:37:15 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I never thought I'd be defending the woman in these things but you are DEAD ON. Either you know you want to be with someone or you don't. But in his case I WOULD cut him slack. You both are divorced right? it could simply be you moved on and he hasn't yet. Was his divorce bad? Did she put him through the ringer? Lot of guys don't want to shoot themselves in the foot twice. If YOU really love this guy and think there's something there maybe you should come clean about how you feel. But tell him you don't want to wait forever, but your willing to take things slow and if it works great if not your still friends but that will be it. Again who knows but it's better to try than sit and wonder. Good luck and PEACE.
Vin
2007-05-12 13:43:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each person has their own interests, but as a guy, I think you are laying too much on each relationship to have too much luck with any of therm. You make it sound like you have to grab someone out of the universe and fold them into your family. That means that anyone who has a variety of relationships is going to find you very restrictive.
Casual dating to me has no connection with the future while "just friends that could go somewhere" is just that, although changing the word "just" to "now" would be a good thing. Casual dating is what a guy and a gal do because they like what they see and want to see what happens when the two of them share an entertaining evening doing something the either both of them like or that one likes and other is willing to check it out.
If I were seeing a woman who had a kid and she would not let me do things with her and the kid, then I would either leave the relationship as a purely social one (only at work or only at church) or drop it. You want only a serious potential relationship but you want the guy to see only you and not the relationship you have with your kid nor to see him in interaction with your kid. What kind of defective information are you going to act on?
Right now I am happily married (22 years+) and I because I am rather solitary, most of my social involvement besides with my wife is with a couple who are not married, live in separate houses and visit each other, and who have a 3 year old together. The daughter is a nicely normal kid who will tell her father "Daddy, I was talking to Mike" when he tries to interpret her childish mispronunciations. I am willing to talk to each of them and listen to their comments and to react honestly while staying out of the oddities of their relationship. You would not allow me near the relationship because it involves the kid.
2007-05-12 14:05:22 · answer #2 · answered by Mike1942f 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, heres my thoughts. All of my boyfriends have been friends prior to the actual being together. It is like dating, except without the hard feelings if things don't work out. It is good to know someone before. And plus when you are friends you don't have to go through all of the perfect date look and manner. It is casual, about as casual as you can get. I feel that it is a good way to go. That is just my opinion you will ultimately have to decide if you like him enough for it to go anywhere. He also may just be saying that b/c he doesnt know your feelings on the situation.
2007-05-12 13:44:10 · answer #3 · answered by kaciepaige03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends that could go somewhere and casual dating?
Casual dating is the same as casual sex. its dating with no romantic involvement. Say I want to see a movie but I don't want to go alone. I take this girl I'm casually seeing with me. we aren't exclusive and there's not much heat but sometimes me might end the night with a little casual sex.
Friends that could go somewhere is the same as dating. your already friends and that's a start. but you think that maybe there's something more there. So you go out and see if it leads to something.
Your friend is playing it safe cause like you there's a child involved. He can't spring a woman on them unless it might become special.
2007-05-12 13:50:40 · answer #4 · answered by the webpage master 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is my PERSPECTIVE ONLY....know that...But i was always told when a guy says..."I just want to be friends"...that is a POLITE way of saying..."nothing more"...and it goes the same for women...WHEN i tell a guy ..."oh, i'd rather be friends"...that is telling the guy to "back off"...or "I am not interested"...but it is said in a nice way...YOU WILL HAVE TO COME STRAIGHT OUT AND ASK THE GUY..."do you see this going anywhere?''''....iF HE ignores the question and just says.."I just want to be friends"...that means A NO....did you tell him you just don;t do guy friends??? LET HIM KNOW...maybe communication would help on his part...
2007-05-12 13:46:37 · answer #5 · answered by sweet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you see if you should talk to him in private.say that you just want to be friends and that you do want any serious relationship ,for the sake of your kids
2007-05-12 13:44:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋