Ok, I have a guy friend who is in his 50's. He has a live in girlfriend that he says he is not in love with but has been with for 7 years. We have been friends since last year and we talk constantly on the computer. (He's a musician and rarely home.) We have great conversations and are physically attracted. Sometimes he talks sex, but I shoot him down and he changes the subject. We have had plenty of opportunities to have sex, but he always backs away from it. We still talk inappropriately, and we used to cuddle in public, but not anymore. We went out shopping last week and even though he called his girlfriend his wife, he still grabbed my hand when we walked in the store. My question is, what does he want with me? If he's got one thing on his mind, how come he won't allow sex? Does he want more? Is he just talking to me to get off? We are very close friends and we listen to each other's problems, and I don't want to ruin that. If any guys can help me I'd appreciate it!
2007-05-12 13:07:29 · 21 answers · asked by Runaway 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 25 years old. And see, if he was just using me, why can't we have the sex and just get it over with???
2007-05-12 13:22:43 · update #1
maybe like you said in the end, maybe he doesn't want to ruin your friendship. or maybe he won't allow sex because he wants you to show him that you want it too.
just because you've known him for a while and talk or chat all the time, that doesn't make it any easier to fool around with someone.
if you want to stay friends, then you shouldn't get intimate, all that will lead to is one of the two developing deeper feelings, then one will want a relationship and there goes the friendship.
2007-05-12 13:19:14 · answer #1 · answered by juan420 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well, could it be he just views you as a friend? Could it be, that while you both "think and talk" about sex? He realizes that it would take your friendship to another level. Sex, and the fact that he has a live in. Would only put you both in a position that would be very uncomfortable in the future. Unless he plans on kicking his live in out sometime soon. Do you really want that?
Why must there be "something" when a man and a woman are together?
Based purely on the post I've seen here (this question). There are some really sad people on here. To be so hateful / distrustful / jaded toward having friends of the opposite sex, that they think it is completely wrong, for anyone...is very sad.
Me & my wife both have friends of the opposite sex. And, the conversations do include sex...the act of, and what we think of each other, etc etc. But it's how you, your friend, and the significant other, handle the situation (personally) that makes it okay....or not.
The judgement for that, should be left to you and the ones involved. Not by Yahoo community vote.
2007-05-12 13:27:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste your time thinking anything will happen here. All you'll ever be to this guy is a friend. At best, friends with benefits but nothing else. You need to ask yourself if you're okay just being second best to someone else - his girlfriend or should I say his 'wife'. I'm sure there are plently of men out there who'd love to have a real relationship with you. Hope this helps! Good luck.
2007-05-12 13:18:25 · answer #3 · answered by H.B. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gee honey, I am sorry that your world is so dreary that you hang out with such a loser who has no morals. I hope you can do yourself a fovor and cut off this sick relationship and get yourself some self esteem. I don't want this to sound like I am being mean, I am not. You deserve better. Try eHarmony. You might find a good man on there. That is where my sweetheart found me. We never talk inappropriately and neither of us is cheating on live in lovers. We have mutual respect and mutual values. We don't have to hide anything from anyone. She is 53 and I am 50. Please be good to yourself and give yourself a man who will love and respect you.
2007-05-12 13:24:44 · answer #4 · answered by Alvin York 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
hi, it is clear to me just by your introduction to your problem that this man is not worth a damn and just wants sex from you. if he has been with this woman for seven years and has not yet married her means that he has commitment issues and the game that he is playing with he has played before with others and will never be faithful to anyone. that fact that you have a phone relationship is a sad reason to risk your heart. look at the formula you are dealing with.
**live in girlfriend
**away all the time.
**asking for sex
he is not your friend. he is an f buddy waiting to happen
get out and off the phone and find someone with a true heart. younger, he's 50. his equipment wont work in a few days.
rock it
2007-05-12 13:24:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
be greater mature than your pal and careful with what you enable her understand approximately you sooner or later; seems she did that just to be merciless and watch you squirm (possibly), she would have been attempting to help yet I doubt it. In a private section ask him what he thinks of you, if he says he's a participant, then you definately understand what your coping with, if he says he likes you and can like thus far you, then take it from there. you will not understand till you ask, yet undergo in concepts many youthful adult males and older ones too, conceal their emotions for in spite of reason which could be, so info would seem constrained till now each and everything, stable success!
2016-10-04 23:42:17 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is confused and so are you. It's his rush to keep you interested and doesn't seem like you mind giving him that rush which brings up the next question - Are you expecting a relationship here? If yes, he should take a step and you might have to talk about it and if no.. do whatever you please. But always remember, he isn't bold enough to take any decisions (be it with his girlfriend or with you).
2007-05-12 13:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by pathak_surendra 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can't help you, sweetie. I don't think a woman in her 20s has any business hanging out with a man in his 50s, especially if he has someone at home he's obviously made a commitment to. I would guess he likes being with you because it makes him feel like a young stud, maybe his mid-life crisis, but that's just a guess. You'd have to ask him to be honest with you to know.
2007-05-12 13:14:44 · answer #8 · answered by Jess 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Too bad he won't allow sex... most of those middle agers can really dish out a great pounding! Plus, most of them LOVE alot of female-centered foreplay beforehand... they make SURE you get off at least a couple of times. They're MUCH less selfish than young guys...
It's also nice that they're established and have nothing to prove.
How old is his live-in? I suspect you make him feel younger so he enjoys your company?
2007-05-12 13:16:48 · answer #9 · answered by Kia A 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think he just wants you as a friend. All guys like to play with woman but if he sleeps with you it will change things with you and his other girlfriend. He likes things the way they are now. Find someone that can care for you to be your boyfriend.
2007-05-12 13:23:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋