A carrot has just...........................?

Question

just burst into my living room and is asking for asylum. What should I do?

Answer 1

Ooooh! This is right up my alley! :D Unfortunately, carrots (or any vegetables for that matter) will not meet the requirements for asylum in UK.

The criteria for refugee status (which must be granted in order to receive asylum in UK) are complicated, but they basically involve proving that the applicant will be severely persecuted upon return to their country of origin. The carrot would be able to prove imminent persecution (being edible), but would be unable to prove that similar persecution would not happen in UK.

The applicant must also have strong ties to UK (usually a spouse or immidiate blood relative) who would be willing to sponsor their visa application. Vegetables generally have great difficulity meeting this requirement.

The applicant must also establish that UK would be the most appropriate country in which they could settle. Because carrots are widely consumed in UK, this also would be an obsticle.

Even if the above criteria are met, the carrot would still need to make an application with the Home Office. At the moment, the UK government has been tightening the requirements for refugee status applications in order to reduce the number of applicants applying for asylum in order to circumvent the requirements for a traditional visa.

I would advise the carrot to consult an attorney that specializes in immigration issues (particularly those involving vegetables) as soon as is practical.

However, unless you are willing to marry the carrot, I doubt that it's application will be granted. And even if you did agree to marry, the carrot would need to obtain an engagement visa, which is not easy either.

Vegetables that grow above ground would have a better chance, but still not particularly good.

Answer 2

Your question raises several issues.
Firstly, I wasn't aware that carrots were a persecuted race. Having said this, carrots can come from any number of countries, some of which may be responsible for intolerable conditions, not just for carrots, but people too.
Secondly, you need to review your home security, if a comparatively small thing like a carrot can gain access to your living room, unannounced.
Thirdly, you cannot be a known carrot sympathiser, as you are asking Y/A what to do in this situation. Why, then, did the carrot come to you?
Finally, carrots are root vegetables, cannot burst into a room under their own volition, neither can they ask for anything, as they are not sentient and, more importantly, have no vocal chords. Your question, therefore, is nonsense.

After perusing each of these issues, I feel the fourth one is the most relevant.

Answer 3

Why did you leave the door open in the first place? Now you just have to accept that you have an orange room-mate for a very long time. Some carrots live up to 10 years...

Answer 4

Get out the video camera!

Send the tape to America's Funniest Home Videos and wait to win you're $10,000.

The carrot stew idea is a good idea too!

Answer 5

Save the carrot, they need love too ;)

Answer 6

Open the fridge, tell him to hide in the back, and then tell the rabbit cops you don't know a thing about any carrot.

BTW, how did it open the front door??

Answer 7

Threaten it with a peeler and say 'i have a peeler and i'm not afraid to use it!', whilst jabbing the air with the peeler in a threatening fashion. LOL!

Answer 8

That Mick Hucknall, he's never happy is he....tell him to stop drinking wine and eating Italian and get some work done....

Answer 9

give it a sylum and see if it goes away again. i mean after all it's not like your are using your sylum for anything else

Answer 10

Make carrot stew!

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