If you like someone... don't you date them?

Question

I am 31 and a mom of two. He is 39 and has a kid too. Well he says that he likes me and wants to be my friend and see if it goes somewhere. We are just friends.... I think that is a cop out. If you like someone, you take the risk and try being a couple for at least a month and spend time togehter that way. He obviously likes me... it is very obvious in his manner, eyes and the way he is around me. But he wants to be friends because he thinks it could become more. I am not like that at all. either you think I am worth the risk or not. I like to move fast. I want to spend the rest of my life with someone. I spent 6 years of my life waiting for men that I love... I don't wait anymore. If it is right, then it would happen. He wants his options open, then he can have them open.. but I am not interested in anything more then just seeing him very occasionally on a friendship level. I intend to be a VERY casual frind. Am I wrong to feel gilted? I don't 'do guy friends' very well at all.

Answer 1

This person you speak of is probably confused about many things, including committment. He wants to be "just friends" in order to see if it goes anywhere because thats just how he wants it. It is not wrong for you to want to move fast, but it is wrong to expect that of someone else. This is the kind of person that always keeps the following question in their head, "What if I......?".

Answer 2

It might not necessarily be a 'cop out', but you have to agree that men move a little more slowly with commitments than women do. I can appreciate your knowing who you are and not wanting to waste time, but I think he is really saying the same thing. He might be a little gun-shy. You don't know him completely, and you might find there are some habits or things about him that you can't stand. I advise that you do allow the 'friendship' to grow. There's nothing wrong with that. I am sure the 'friendship' includes dating. It is possible that he might have other ladies he is 'friendly' with. Remember - the pool is greater for men than for women and they have a wider selection. For you and for your children - take it slow - and see where it goes.