My dad just passed away, my little brother is 2 yrs. What's my role now?

Question

My dad just passed away, and my little brother is two years old. I never had a close relationship with my father, so as sad as it is, It really doesn't bother me much. My brother probably won't remember him, and will have no male role model growing up. So I figured my role in his life is probably going to be bigger than expected. Any advice? I figured I kinda got to be kinda like a dad to him. I'm 16, by the way. Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

You will be like his father figure. He will look up to you, and you will need to be there for him during this rough time. He will also have his mother there, and uncles and cousins too. But you will be his biggest role model, because you are his older brother

Answer 2

You already have what it takes to help him heal and a heart big enough to make it thru this. Your Dad would have been so proud - I just know it. But don't take a different role because it sounds like you are in the position you are meant to be in. You can be the memories that he will not have but you don't have to try and be a father. He had a father that must have been a good man. I know plenty of 16 year olds and I think your concern for your baby brother before your own pain shows a compassion and maturity your peers couldn't even hope to be. They are not bad - you are just special. And being so, I believe that is why you find yourself asking this question. Your role model and memories and love will see your brother through and the two of you will have a bond that is rare. I lost my father and had a baby sister 10 years younger than me so I know a bit about what you are facing. You will make it - I promise. And anyone around you is better for having you. Be a brother and no matter how you think you feel numb now there is a connection with your father and it will hurt but it may take a while for it to hit you.

I am so glad I popped in and ran into your question - I was feeling down about the world. I have been looking for a glimmer of unselfish love in this big world. Thanks for helping me out.
My heart is with your family, Linda

Answer 3

Wow. I was 16 when my father passed away. My little sister was 14, and my little brother was 9. None of us had a very close relationship w/ him, but it hurt us all very badly.
You are right in feeling that you should be your little bro's role model. My little bro never had (and still doesn't) have any father figure. I believe my sister, mother, and I have done a pretty good job raising him. However, although I believe in gender equality, there are certain things that he really needs a father figure for. Your little brother needs you now, and will for a very long time. I admire your responcibility.
I'm sure you remember SOME good things about your father, even though you didn't have a close relationship. Tell your little brother stories about your dad that you can remember, or that people tell you. I believe it is important that he know who his father is. My little bro didn't see our dad for years before he died (my dad really wasn't that great of a person), but it was, in my opinion, important for him to know who he was.
As for you, you are 16. Did you have a father figure while growing up? If not, what do you think you needed in a father figure? I do think that you should be like a father figure, but not so much as a "dad". Keep in mind that you ARE his brother. Brothers can be brothers as well as father figures. As he gets a little older (and probably now) he will know that you ARE NOT his dad; you are his brother. I'm telling you to not be exactly like a "dad" because he may resent you for that.
What can you give him that his mother can't? Perhaps, sports? Like I said, I admire that you are taking on this responcibility, but keep in mind, you are still his big brother. Give him what you think he needs to grow up to be a good man.

Answer 4

I am sorry about your dad, I think it would be nice for a while if you tried to help your mother out as much as you can. Of course, you are at a great age and should be out living it up with your friends too. But if you see her getting stressed out of having a bad day, take your little brother and go have a little one on one time with him and give her a break. Thirty minutes can be a wonderful break, just give her time to take a hot bath or relax without someone needing something from her. You seem like a great guy, and to even ask a question like this shows you are very mature and I bet you will be a great big brother to him when he needs it most!

Answer 5

Your role should be to remain a big brother. Your actions and decisions will be watched by him. He will look up to you. Treat him as you want to be treated and show him the things you always wanted to learn. Listen when he needs to talk and remember to tell him you love him and give lots of hugs.

You will do a great job and being a big brother can be a much more important role than trying to replace a parent.

Best wishes and prayers. He will be fine because you sound like a strong and smart 16 year old.

Answer 6

your role is not changed
You are still the big brother. Only the emphasis on your role has changed.
You will be needed more. You can have a major role in your brother's development if you choose to. It will make a big difference in your relationship for the rest of your lives

Answer 7

First of all sorry for your loss - secondly Ur the father figure now bro - chldren always have role models man and young boys usually follow their fathers and if their fathers arent there then the follow their older siblings - take care of him as if he was your son (and thats a huge responsibilty - it means no smokin drinking doin drugs or havin sex in front of the toddler - and it also means you get to pass on ur knowledge about the world and its affairs on to your lil bro) When ur 30 ur gna look back an feel real proud of yourself - if u do a gd job that is - good luck!

Answer 8

It sounds like you have a good head on you're shoulders. The only thing I can suggest is make sure you keep using it.

Don't try to be his dad, just be a good big brother. Just being there sometimes is enough. 2 year olds are very curious and can get into trouble, help keep an eye on him to keep him safe but let him explore and find things out for himself.

When he gets older, if or when he gets into sports, go see his games, help him with his homework when he starts school, play with him when he needs a play mate.

Answer 9

Kudos to you for stepping up to the plate, esp. at 16. That says alot about your level of maturity.Pray on the matter. if your an atheist..meditate on it.
You can cannot replace your dad but you can be a father figure to your lil bro. You also must your own life to life, Im sure soon you'll be of to college, dating, etc...But considering his age, you should serve as a role model,mentor, and teacher. Be involved as much as you can.

I had to basically raised my twin brothers as a kid. But I stuck around because I enjoy that role.In my heart I know that my mom and God wanted me to be there for them. I'm am now 32. They are grown up and married and NORMAL. You don't want your lil' brother turning to other men for attention. Not having that male role model leads to all kinds of stuff, obesity,gang affliation, homosexuality. So I say stick around for his sake and yours. Your life will be blessed for your efforts.
You make not miss your dad but he did something right because your asking this question. Your 16 but wiser than your age, pass that along to your brother. You can't leave him, that's family

Answer 10

when my grandfather passed away all i was left with was my older brother. you are right you role will be much bigger. just know that no matter what happenes to be there for him. and just be the best brother you can be. but whatever you do try not to overshadow him. remember although you are the closest thing he will have YOU ARE NOT HIS FATHER. let him live his life his own way but guide hime the best you can. do that and everything will work for the best. also sorry for your loss.