Imagine if your boyfriend (girlfriend... or for some, you can go as far as husband, wife) cheated on you for about 1 year and some months, and you finally found about it. And not only did you find out about it, but you had a talk with the girl he was cheating with, and she too had no idea about the cheating. And to top it all off, he had a son and his future wife pregnant. Neither both girls knew about you, and you didn't know about them 'till you found out.
Now the question is: will you try to some way get revenge on him/her? After he led you on believing that he loved you and wanted a future for months (without harming the future wife or kids, since they don't live together, they are 'thinking' of marriage for the kids). Or will you just let it go and move on?
Tell me why or why not.
The questions may not reflect my real life, so don't bother saying "you should do this and that.." I'm only asking what would you do and why.
Thanks
2007-05-12 11:33:38 · 20 answers · asked by Iceshowers 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, since some are confused on the first part on husband and wife cheating on you, I only threw that in since some of us are married and i wanted them to think if something like this happened to them. But to keep it more simple, ignore that first husband/wife thing and think of the boyfriend/girlfriend instead.
And to clarify it, yes it is a real story. whoever story it is, will be kept confidential.
2007-05-12 11:43:24 · update #1
The future wife did not know that he was cheating with 2 other, but she did know that he had friends he hung out with.
The other 2 girls do not have kids with him.. only the future wife has a son and one in the way with him.
2007-05-12 11:45:59 · update #2
haha.. last edit i promise. but i might not have been clear but THERE ARE 3 WOMEN INVOLVED. 2 who did not know he had a commitment back home and and also did not know of each other.. and the woman who has his 2 kids.
2007-05-12 11:58:21 · update #3
I would let go and let God. Revenge is silly to me because it takes so much out of the person seeking revenge. We all reap what we sow so ultimately the person who did all of the dirt will have a date with Karma. They will get what they deserve. Most people expect you to be nasty and mean about the situation. I think doing nothing is the best defense. If makes the person who did it feel even worse because they hurt someone who was sweet, nice and forgiving. I would forgive the person and go on with my life. Holding on to anger is letting that person know that they still have power over you and your life. We don't want that, so we should WALK AWAY and think of it as THEIR LOSS!
2007-05-12 11:41:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, your question presumes that a boyfriend or girlfriend cheating is the same as a husband or wife cheating. It's not. They're both deplorable, but the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship carries no promise or contractual obligation. That makes a big difference.
Secondly, it's unprofitable to get revenge on someone. Undoubtably the victim would be in a confused emotional state, somewhere between mourning and rage.
Revenge only keeps your mind on the other person longer, and will never satisfy enough to take away the pain. It simply delays the healing process.
2007-05-12 11:39:23 · answer #2 · answered by Privratnik 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would dump him...someone that can be that deceptive is not worth having in my life, nor wasting time trying to get revenge....why do people feel the need to get revenge on a man that has wronged them...sure it might feel good but look at how many other lives would be affected by it..I would move on the best revenge is success and happiness
2007-05-12 11:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would most definately get revenge i'll hurt him so bad he wouldn't not even want 2 see a woman again but i wouldn't kill him because his kids would need a father in their life even though he's cheap,dirty and whoring.And if i was that girl i would regret marring him but parents will do any thing 4 their kids. If i was in her shoe and we got married and he cheated again i would definately cut his penis off r jus hurt him real bad there then kick his *** and tell him the next time won't be preety r he won't be as lucky.
2007-05-12 11:45:39 · answer #4 · answered by sashii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man ... revenge, revenge. I see alot of people feel that plotting out revenge would prolong the healing process, but seriously ... I would not be able to go on UNTIL I'd had my revenge. I'd be thinkin "I let him off too easily, I shoulda done this and that, did he think he could hurt me like that and get off so easily?". I would have gotten my revenge quickly and brutally THEN moved on the next week instead.
2007-05-12 11:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by NoSurrender 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Revenge a strong word. yes, I would be upset and if you ahve children they deserve everything they can get from him. If the other woman has children and they are older than yours they will no doubt be intitled first. It sounds like a mess. Is the other woman still with him after finding out about you? If so maybe she knew about you. Anyways, it sounds like you can do much better than the creep you were with. Find someone else and make him jealous! You deserve better.
2007-05-12 11:40:17 · answer #6 · answered by someones friend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you for real!!!! what you are saying is that this guy has a g/f whom he is planning on marrying and she is pregnaut, but he is cheating with another girl and wants her as his side dish, and basically just wants her only for sex and no relationship. Whats wrong with this picture. Both women need to drop him like a bad habit because when he gets bored he will move on to someone else he is not marriage or relationship material.
2007-05-12 11:39:11 · answer #7 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the girl did not know then I have no problem with her. As for him, I would pack up my things and move on. But not before pulling a Bernadine, from "Waiting To Exhale", and setting his clothes on fire. LOL. Seriously, I would not stoop to that level because I am a lady and I deserve to be treated as such. I would leave and enjoy my new found independence.
2007-05-12 11:38:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not bother getting "revenge" on him, he is obviously a loser and I wouldn't waste another second on him. So I would let it go and move on with my life. If his future wife ever found out and confronted me, I would be honest. But I wouldn't confront her and destroy those kids' lives and their relationship just for revenge.
2007-05-12 11:44:30 · answer #9 · answered by Dani R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The desire for revenge would be great, but that would only keep me tied to him psychologically and people like that don't seem to care about other people's feelings so the message would be completely lost on him. I would force myself to walk away and get on with my life. Success, as they say, is the best revenge.
2007-05-12 11:37:44 · answer #10 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋