Please help. I am deadly serious here. I have been married for 8 years and we have 2 kids, one of which is disabled. I have suffered depression on and off for years, and I have a progressive kidney disease. I have no career, and I am 32. Lately I have felt my life has been gradually deteriorating. I have lost touch with friends, and I don't feel any passion for my husband at all any more.
I have no energy to do things. I sit all day wasting my time on the computer. I don't see people during the day. I spend so much time alone, I end up talking to myself. I have lost a lot of weight, which I hoped would make me feel better, but it hasn't. I still feel unattractive and useless.
I know how this must sound, and I think I can guess what you are all going to say. I have no life. I have no hobbies (other than the internet), no job, few friends. I am a trained teacher, but quit because I hated it. I don't know where to go.
2007-05-12 06:59:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Wow, that sounds a lot like my life. The only difference is that I learned to celebrate me. I love not working and I don't have to. I don't care what the world says, I am going to rejoice with it. I don't have many friends either but it is really because I do not want the commitment and drama having a lot of friends cause. I like having a quiet life. I love my time on the computer. I am 39. My marriage of 16 years has it's ups and downs. Sometimes we're madly in love with each other but just as often we can't stand each other, we learn how to stay out of each others way during those times. I also go through my depressed moods but I eventually get out of those.
My suggestion is this: do a lot of soul searching and determine what things in life bring you joy. If you hate working than don't (if you can) and be happy about that. If there is any hobby at all that you might enjoy (online gaming??) than submerge yourself in that. I enjoy cross stitching and I do this almost every day. I also enjoy nature and try to be grateful for the birds outside my home. Don't listen to what the world says and let them judge you. That's what most people do. Sit on their throne and tell everyone else what they are doing wrong. Mold your life into what you truly want it to be. Always remember that marriages have ups and downs. About your sickness, I can not relate to that but just be strong in dealing with it if that's what you have to do.
I promise you, you will get out of this mood. When and if it comes around again, know that it's normal to have a cycle of good moods and bad moods.
I hope this helps.
2007-05-12 07:15:44 · answer #1 · answered by Hjkl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, amazing how much you sound like me. (Just younger and different medical situation.) And what's wrong with talking to yourself! Nothing I say. lol.
Everything you mention clearly says a couple of things to me. 1) You are clearly depressed again. Since you say you have been depressed before, you should know that you need to speak to the doc about it. This might also explain the lack of energy. 2) Sounds like you are ready for a change in your life. You state "I have no career" and then you state you are a trained teacher but hated it and quit. You obviously are not happy with the way things are at present and want something different or wouldn't be posting here. So it appears to me that you need to spend some time now thinking about what you really love to do. When you have come up with a couple of those things, see if you can maybe work your teaching into that. If you can, maybe you can come up with a job idea, or something to volunteer at. If you were teaching, I am sure there is some creativity there.....so spend some serious time working on it. I bet you will come up with something. You might even be able to work the computer end into it too.
Good luck!
2007-05-12 07:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by MisMischievous 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off people please don't mock this woman. Many people suffer with mental health. First off i suggest you talk to your doctor who will refer you to a counsellor it will help you i promise. First signs of clinical depression is that you become demotivated and do not want to do anything. You also may feel tearful and want to sleep alot. Talking to yourself is completely normal. You will have no life at present because that what depression does it knocks 10 bells out of you. Babes you have to be strong and go and see a doctor who may also precribe you some anti depressants and refer you to a therapist. Don't feel ashamed by taking the tablets. Sitting on the computer is an escapre route many peopke have much more destructive habits such as drinking taking drugs and other riskful habits!! so there is one thing that you should be proud of yourself. You know that you have a problem because you have spoken about it. As far as the situation with your husband the feelings that you feel is also because of the depression. Depression also makes you very lonely and isolated however i would talk to your friends about it or phone a helpline not sure where in the world you are but there are people that will able to help you. Your self confidence is in shatters and in time and with help you will rebuild it. Believe me i have been there and felt like crap about myself but it will come back and you will look back on this a stronger person. Babes please get some help it will work out i promise.
2007-05-12 07:25:18 · answer #3 · answered by british gurly 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
O.K. I hope you don't just blow this off. I am not one of those " Jesus " people, but I do know from my own experiences ( ALOT like yours), that it helps to reach out to God. doesn't mean everything is going to be "peachy, dandy" all of a sudden ( I wished), but if you believe in God, He wants to help you. Maybe you can start going to a church in your "hood", and whatever you do, don't feel like people in church are all " Holier than Thou" because I thought that for a long time, when I knew I had to do something....I went to a church in my "hood", and found out, the people there wrer just like me...basically normal, with the same things going on in there lifes as well. I made the best friends I have ever had. It gives you a great support group, and gives your kids new friends and activities to look forward to. Trust me on this one...try it for at least three Sundays, you'll be pleasantly surprissed....and you have NOTHING to lose by giving it a chance. Come on, now....please, give it a shot. I'll be thinking about you this week, and praying for you. It CAN get better....force yourself OUT THAT DOOR !!!! You are not alone. P.S If you don't want to "do" church on a Sunday, there Wed. services, some have Sat. services, and evening services. You GO girl !! Right on!!
2007-05-12 09:24:51 · answer #4 · answered by Cami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you feel that way, but I think it's normal to feel depressed because of your disabled child as well as your disease.
My suggestion is that you NEED to find something productive to spend your time on so that you don't feel useless, and since you like the internet so much, why not take advantage of that and look for creative and lucrative ways to spend your time on while surfing. Lately I've also been spending tons of time on the internet, but the difference is that I truly enjoy it since I found a new passion on internet marketing.
Please read my article: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/154848/a_challenge_with_an_achievable_goal.html to give you an idea of how I started.
If you need more suggestions, then also check these other pages I've made to give you ideas on how to turn simple, everyday things into more exciting ones:
http://www.squidoo.com/tastefulcooking
http://www.squidoo.com/daddyline
http://www.squidoo.com/wholovesmoneyebook
if you need more help, just shout! i got tons of ideas!
2007-05-12 07:23:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need professional help, do it for your self but most importantly your children. Depression can lead to horrific events, such as suicide, murder, or worst. Please, ask for help the hardest step is the first step, you will thank yourself at the end.
Count the positive things in your life ...don't focus so much on counting all the negative events you have had to go through, remember that everyone has burdens, the goal is to try and live a happy life and learning from each mistake and hardship. Good Luck!
2007-05-12 07:09:49 · answer #6 · answered by Lubia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i think the old saying applies here. take it one day at a time. i was in a similar situation a few years ago but the thought of my kids going on without me kept me going. i couldn't stand the thought of them hating me if i did something stupid. each day i woke up and said to myself"okay, i got through that day,now i'll get through this one."i found a wonderful doctor and was prescribed anti-depressants.something i had really needed for a long time but was afraid to admit to. your illness makes it harder, i'm sure, buy i think the same thoughts apply. as scared as i was to do it, i talked to my husband and told him what i was feeling. to my surprise, he was truely concerned for me. i thought for sure that he wouldn't believe me or would think i was overeacting but, he wasn't. when we get to the point where you are now, it's easy to crawl inside ourselves and think that no one gives a damn when in fact they do. open up to your husband. tell him whats going on with you. right now you probably don't feel passion for him b/c you are so worried about everything else around you. passion is one thing you don't have time for. but you need to talk this out. he can't help you if you don't let him in. when you start to join the world again you'll start to feel a little better. find a doctor too. maybe medication will help take the edge off so you can see the good things in your life. god bless.
2007-05-12 07:24:00 · answer #7 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get a job, or better yet, do some volenteer work. You will see your life isn't that bad. Change your routine. Get out of the house. No one is useless, Change is hard, but you need to do what you feel is right for you. Set some goals and go for it.
2007-05-12 07:30:33 · answer #8 · answered by Bryce M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you copped out and withdrew, rather than facing your problems, dealing with them, and imrpoving your life. Join the millions who have done the same thing> The computer and/or internet makes it very easy to do.
For starters, you're probably going to want to get professional counseling. While you're undergoing that, you will want to rekindle your relationships with old friends, make new friends, join church and/or civic groups, etc. Also, get back into the workforce, preferably at your specialty. Millions of people don't like their jobs, but it does earn them money and occupy their time in a productive manner.
In other words, get off of your butt, out of the house, and back into the world. Get it started today, not tomorrow.
2007-05-12 07:12:40 · answer #9 · answered by Tom Barrister 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go and talk to a doctor, and also exercise EVERY day. Walk for 40 minutes a day, and you will feel better about life.
2007-05-12 07:40:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anne B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋